1651998 to run from your past 1652013 may dest
by terrisa murray
Summary: Fraiser O'neil struggles through life to protect his family from the horrrors of his past with coincedental ocurrenceces plauging his life will his best attempts off keeping his family from the evil off his past, can he protect or will it end tragically.
1. Chapter 1

_chapter 1_

"Good evening Dr O'Neil."

"Good evening ladies" I said politley walking past the group of Nurse's huddled together and giggling like school children.

I will never get use to that I thought to myself.

I don't regard myself as particularly attractive, but it seems that the ladies I work with do. _No use though _I thought.

With this thought my mind started to drift, I began thinking about James, the love of my life. About the first time we met, only sixteen and still in school.

I can still remember the way he looked the first day we met. He was tall for his age and astoundingly beautiful His dark hair was tousled, but what caught my attention were his eyes. They were bright blue , but deep as the ocean. He leant casually against the bike shed, and was smoking a cigarette.

I distinctly remember the feeling of awkwardness that passed over me when I realised that his gaze held mine. He threw the cigarette to the ground, treading on it as he came to introduce himself.

"Hi I'm James. You must be new here?" I froze, I didn't know what to say . I just stood there, like a twat, unable to string a sentance together. From that moment I knew I loved him. Everything I had been feeling recently seemed to make sense in that moment. He seemed to recognise something in my face and a flicker of emotion played on his face.

I snapped back to reality as my arms started to scorch. A quick glance over my shoulder told me that no one could see me starting to peel off my bandages as I hurried into the bathroom.

Luckily I was working the night shift at the Hospital, and it was quiet, so I felt free to uncover myself without the fear that someone may intrude.

I fully unwrapped the bandages that covered my arms, and splashed cold water over the reddend markings on my arms. The markings that define me, and plauge me.

James doesn't see them the way I do. "They tell your story Fraiser" he says " The story of the beginning of your life"

Thanks to my insane parents, I am covered in these strange markings.

Before I was even born they had joined a cult together. When my mother bore me, I was like a saviour. They would never regard me as their son, I was diffrent from the other children My parents didnt understand me but due to their beliefs I was to be used as an offering for their sins they were made to belive I was wrong in there eyes. When I became 'of age' they would offer my soul for all the sins they had commited, according to the 'brotherhood'. The marks were made on the day of my 10th birthday 16/05/1998 they left me to die on the streets, a blood offering. That was the last time i celbarted my birthday. what a day to curse me.

Four years of medical training and I still have difficulty bandaging my own arms.

I always keep a spare packet of bandages on me just in case anything happens to the ones i'm wearing.

There are only three people that I trust to keep my past a secret, or that I will leave my arms bare in front of, James, my foster brother Josh and my best friend Annabell. I wish that I didn't have to wear these bandages, they are so uncomfortable, but I know from past experience that people are scared of them. And after the fear comes the questions, I don't want to bear my soul to everyone I meet, so I wear them for the best.

At least I can be myself in front of the people that mean the most to me.

The bathroom door swung open, and I saw Dr Jackson's eyes flicker to my arms to my face and then to my arms again. I was stunned and couldn't cover the badly scarred area of my arm still on display.

"Are you ok?" Ben rushed to my side, his face a portrait of deep concern.

" I'm fine Dr Jackson. Thank you for your concern, but truly there is no need." With a swift movement I tucked the loose end of the bandages in.

I like Ben, his genuine care and consideration for others was awe inspiring. I can imagine that he would be a great friend to anyone. But not for me, not right now. I don't want to go yelling my life story down the hospital corridors. So I just gave him a warm smile to show him that there was no harm done.

Despite my attempts to cool my scarred arms, they began to burn again, although they didn't scorch like they had before. Dr Jackson still stood beside me, making sure I wasn't going to pass out. What was in my face that worried him so much?

"I was worried that you might have hurt yourself" He seemed to have heard my thoughts.

"Oh. I see. Why would you think that?"

"Well, you have had a tough year. I was worried it had finally taken it's toll on you."

I let out a small chuckle.

"I am fine honestly there's no need to panic."

He was right, it has been a tough year. My foster parents died in a car

accident over a year ago, but I haven't been able to grieve . I haven't shown any emotion, I just couldnt let myself crack at the time, and I needed to be strong for my brother Josh and try to bring him up as my foster parents would have

wanted. That was the best thing I could do for them to repay them for saving me. And I haven't allowed myself to grieve properly since.

"I'm going to be late to my shift Fraiser"

"Oh. I didn't know you were working tonight Ben."

"Unfortunately, I pulled the short straw" We both laughed lightly. Ben is a sensitive guy, he knows what to say to change the subject and break the tension.

" Ok. I will see you in there then."

I walked out of the bathroom, i didnt want to work today i hated this day it bought back dark memorys of my past which i cared to forget.

James has this theory. He thinks that the burning is somehow linked to my emotions. If I get angry or sad it seems to flare up, only in extreme cases though. But I'm not sure about it, I don't see how they could be linked, emotional and physicall trauma.

Maybe there is something in this theory though, James has gone away for a fornight. He's on a teacher training course with the college where he works. so this was perfect timeing to go away i wasnt angry with him really he didnt have much choice in it but to be honnest i would rather be on my own on this sad day.

_I am not going to think about it now_ I said to myself Just _concentrate on your work Fraiser._

I arrived at the security desk signed myself in and the security guy let me

in.

"Thanks" He acknowledged my presence with a quick nod..

As soon as I entered the ward I filled my lungs. I love that smell, neat

bleach, it makes me feel clean. The anxiety I was feeling before just washed

away. I'm here to do my job and that's what I am going to do.

I glanced around my small office, saw my familiar desk, old computer and the few potted plants that looked close to dying. You couldn't fit more then three people in here. Not that I minded the small space, I was hardly ever in the office.

The large pile of folders on my desk, covered in yellow post it notes, told me that Nurse Pool had been on the day shift. She liked to inform me on every little detail about my patients. It was sweet really. She didnt need to do it.

A couple of members of staff had gladly informed me that she would have liked me as more than a friend. But that's all we could ever be. This could cause tension in the work environment, especially when I knew that Ben, Dr Jackson, had intense feelings for the young nurse. They would make a lovely couple. underneath the files was a envelope with my name on i opened it up a birthday card bang here comes the pain again.

I threw it straight in the bin i couldnt bare to have any reminder of my birthday a day which should be celebrated to be a happy day not a day off sacrafice or death that was ment for me on this special day.

The knock at my door, forced me to compose myself i have to be strong it was hard when my arms scorched like this.

"Come in"

I lifted my face from the patient files to see Dr Alex standing in the doorway. She was leant against the door hand on hip.

Me and Dr Alex did not get on. I tried to avoid her as much as possible.I think she attempted to do the same whenever she could.

"Good evening Dr O'Neil." Her words were polite as always.

"Good evening. Is there something I can help you with?"

"No, I just wanted to say good night to you before I leave. You were late so I

waited."

"Oh?" I said stunned almost into silence by this. Was she being nice?

Dr Sarah Alex does not like me. In her mind I took her job. However if I do say so myself I earned the promotion, and the best man won. Dr Alex didn't have time for the paitents, or the staff for that matter. It was all about her, and when she didn't get her way well, it wasn't a pretty sight.

I was stunned, speechless infact that she was standing in my door way offering what seemed to be genuine care.

"Oh I see nurse pool has updated you on _everything_." She said,

Pointing to the post it notes. A sneering tone in her voice.

I looked down with a smile rembering the sincere kindness that lived in Nurse Pool/

Dr Alex continued...

"I dont know why she does it. She must not have much of a life, poor girl. Wasting her time doing stupid things like that..."

She carried on muttering to herself, but I couldn't bring myself to hear the words she was saying. Her disrespect for others always angered me.

my arms started to burn even more then they where. I looked up and gave her the harshest glare I could muster. But she continued to babble about something else Nurse Pool had done to irritate her.

I snapped.

"Is there any thing else I can do for you Dr Alex it's just as you can see I am

very busy."

"Oh" she was a little taken aback by my rude manner "I will leave you to it then"

"Thank you" I turned my back on her waiting for her to leave but she didn't move.

"Are you ok Dr O'Neil?"

What was this why was she being nice to me why did she care?

"I am fine i just have a lot to do and would like to get on with it as you correctly said iam late and behind schedule."

She just stared at me what more did she want from me?

I just stared back wishing she would just leave before i did something i regreted.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

The first few members of staff started to pad their ways through the corridor, ready for a new day. Ben and I were in my office just finishing off the few notes we had to make, in order to make an easier job for today's Doctors and Nurses.

There was a tap at the door. Before I even lifted my head to see who was knocking, I knew it had to be Nurse Pool, as Ben jumped up in a fluster.

"Good morning happy birthday for yesterday did you get my card?"

"Erm yes thankyou for that it was very kind."

"I didnt know it was your birthday why didnt you say any thing?" Ben said sounding bad that he didnt get me anything.

"Yeah I dont actuly celebrate my birthday." Maybe my tone was abit harsh as Ben looked shocked by my reaction.

"Ohh Iam sorry Dr O'Neil I havent offended you have I?"

"No you wernt to know. Can I just ask how did you find out it was my birthday?"

" Dr Alex asked if any one had got you a card so i felt a little bad because I didnt think any one had got you anything I truley am sorry."

"Dont worry I am not offended." I gave her a warm smile to make sure she knew i wasnt mad I was just mad with Dr Alex why was she so intreasted in my personal life."

" Well I've brought you a coffee Dr O'Neil... I am so sorry Dr Jackson I didn't

realize you were on shift I havent got you a drink."

"That's okay. I think I can survive just one morning with out coffee."

"I don't know about that Dr Jackson. I've seen you without your caffeine before. I will go and get you one."

"No there's no need honestly, I will survive."

"Well, only if you're sure. The next time you're on shift then? And if I'm feeling generous there may be a donut in it for you"

"Ha-ha lets hope you're in a good mood then my next shift! I love donuts."

"I know you do Dr Jackson." she blushed and fumbled her way out of the room. Smiling as she closed the door behind her.

Then she was gone. I looked at Ben's face and couldn't help but laughing. Loudly, snapping him out of his daydream, his face was a picture of excitement and disbelief. Maybe she did like him after all.

"Did you _see _that?" Ben whispered as he drifted down from cloud nine.

"Yes I did."

"Oh good. So I wasn't dreaming then?"

"No. You're very much awake, but maybe you do need to have a coffee after all."

"Ha-ha very funny _Dr O'Neil_" "So it was your birthday hay?"

"Well I think we are done! Time to go home" I cut Ben off before this conversation was started Ben paused for a minute and then smiled

"Yes it's been a long and boring night, and I am ready for my bed."

The door flung open, and there stood Dr Alex. She sighed as she held her hand out impatiently. I stood from my desk and handed her the notes. With another prolonged sigh she stormed from the office, not even closing the door behind her.

"Good to see Dr Alex is in such a good mood today"

"Yes" I agreed. Dr Alex wasn't my problem anymore. but I would like to talk to her about her snoping "Do you want a lift home?" Ben doesn't have a car, and through the course of the evening I had grown to like him more and more as a friend.

"Well. That would be great. Thank you Fraiser. I will just nip and say good bye to Nurse Pool and I will be with you in a minute"

"Ahh, young love" I chuckled to myself.

I was waiting by the front entrance, when Ben flew out of the front doors and carried on walking down the sidewalk, evidently not seeing me.

"Hey!" I called as I ran to catch up with him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I'm fine I just need to go home and get out of this place."

"Do you still want a lift?" His sudden change of mood alarmed me and I didn't want to leave him alone.

"Oh yeah... um... if it's still okay"

"Sure my car is over here."

As we walked towards my car Ben stopped.

"Is this your car?"

"Sure is"

"Wow"

I drive an Audi A4 convertible, bright red. I love this car.

"Jump in" I said to Ben.

He gave me directions to his house, only to discover he lived less than five minutes away from me.

My phone vibrated in my pocket as we were driving along Ben's street. A quick glance showed me that I had six text messages from my foster brother Josh.

I shoved the hands free wire into my phone, no doubt Josh would call any second. He knows my work number so nothing serious could have happened, or he would have tried to call me at the hospital. Right on cue the phone rang.

"Excuse me I just need to take this call. Hello Josh."

"Well it's about time! I've been trying you all night"

"You have my work number why didn't you call me there?"

"It wasn't that important I was just a bit worried about you. Why have you been ignoring James calls? I also had a feeling

something was wrong? I know yesterday must have been hard but something else feels wrong with you"

"Well, I will be back in 10 minutes we will talk then. Okay?"

"Can't we talk now?"

"No. I am just taking a friend home I won't be long."

"I am on speaker phone aren't I?"

"Yes Josh. You are."

"Oh sorry! See you in five then"

"Josh do one thing for me?"

"What do you want?"

"Chill out"

"Ha-ha very funny. Bye!"

"Sorry about that. My brother can overreact some times" I was worried that Ben was going to think my little brother was a complete lunatic, with his talk of having bad _feelings_.

Josh has a gift. He can always tell how someone is feeling. But it was more than knowing their feelings, but he feels them too. Almost as though he is sharing in someone else's emotion. In most cases he has to know a person well, before he gets a good grasp on their emotions, even from a distance. However when a person he knows or doesn't know is feeling very strongly about something it can have an effect on him.

I, for example did not know Josh when he came to my rescue. I was dying; my real parents had tossed me onto the street thinking that I was dead after the blood sacrifice they tried to make of me. It was Josh who had felt my pain, the humiliation, regret, worthlessness I had felt, and mainly the feeling of being unloved, and had convinced his parents to come looking for me. That's when they saved my life, and became my parents. Nursing me back to health in their home, with their care, food, attention, and time.

I really didn't want to explain this to Ben, so I asked him what had happened back at the hospital. Guilt washed over me when I could sense that he really wasn't comfortable with telling me anything, yet for my sake, he was going to any way.

"I went to say good bye to Jenny. But she'd rolled up her sleeves and I saw what that creep of a boyfriend has done to her"

"What do you mean?"

"Well... I am almost certain now. He beats her."

"Are you really sure Ben?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I've seen it all before" he was looking down at his hands and fiddling with his buttons.

"What, you've seen it at work?" I asked

"No. Not there."

"Well where then?" Ben carried on still playing with his buttons "Sorry... is it personal?"

"It's okay Fraiser, I trust you." He took a deep breath and again I kicked myself for not telling him about Josh properly "My father used to beat my mother when I was a boy, when he'd finished on her, he would take it out on me. So I know how to read the signs. It's mostly the lies she tells! The same ones I've heard my mother make a thousand times over '_I fell down the stairs! I'm so clumsy' ...'I opened the door into myself! Again! ... I know ... I really should learn!' _..." Ben was shaking now, with anger or the pain of his memories I don't know which.

"I am so sorry to hear that Ben. I really am."

"It's okay. It was a long time ago now. I just don't know if I can watch it happen to Jenny, I really care about her. Do you think I should tell her about my past? It might help her to understand that she's not alone."

"I think that's a really good idea. It's really considerate of you. You must really like her, huh?"

"Um.. if you just pull over here, this is my house. Thanks for the advice Fraiser, I'll see you later" I smiled at his skillful dodge of my question. He as he turned to grab the door handle he turned to me again "Thanks Fraiser, I appreciate having someone to talk to, and thanks for the lift. Would you do me a favor and not tell anyone about this please?"

"Of course, we all have a past Ben."

He smiled at me as he got out of the car, thanking me again for the lift, I knew he was wondering what my past was, and whether he would ever get to hear it. I started up the car again completely stunned that Ben had opened up to me like that, and a little ashamed that I had never given him the time of day before.

When I arrived home Josh was impatiently waiting for me by the front door.

"What's up then Josh?"

"I had a bad feeling 'bout you. You okay?"

"I'm fine Josh."

"That's crap! I can still feel it!"

"Shall we go inside?"

I walked into the house, hung my coat up and went to sit in the living room, all the time feeling Josh behind me.

"Josh! I'm fine. Will you give me some space? Please."

"You are not fine. Don't pretend you are Frais and do not fob me off with it was a bad day yesterday because that is crap i know you where feeling down but there is more to it?"

Standing up, I went to the kitchen, grabbed a glass of milk and sat at the kitchen table. I was overcome with a huge yawn, hopefully Josh would get the message and leave me be.

"Well? Anything unusual happen at work?" Persistent as ever, Josh just wouldn't let the subject drop.

"Nope very quiet." I could see the clogs turning in his head, as per usual he was trying to think of a way to trap me into confessing.

"Mmm. Okay then old man."

Sipping at the freshly poured milk I could almost feel Josh's eyes prodding at me. After a while I gave up on the milk and started to unravel the itching bandages. I don't need to wear them at home, at home I can be myself. No one will judge, or scream or think I'm the kind of guy to try and take my own life.

"HA! I knew it." I nearly flew out of my seat Josh had shouted that loudly.

"Look at the state of your arms! Must be hurting hey?...Why won't you tell me?.. What's happened?"

"Nothing has happened!" I snapped back. He looked sincerely hurt, and worried. After all this is hard for Josh too, to be feeling my pain and not know why. "Oh I'm Sorry Josh, I didn't mean to shout like that. I'm just tired, it's been a long night. you know I find it hard on that day so its just that I suppose I'll take myself to bed."

" thats crap Frais and you know it. we're going to be talking about this later"

"Yes. If it will make you feel better we will talk later. And I will tell you every exciting detail of the thrilling night shift but iam sure its just because off my stupid birthday"

" It isnt that but I'll hold you to that mate, nighty night."

"Ha-ha , morning" I love Josh's dry sense of humor.

I walked up to my bedroom, flung myself on the bed and was out like a

light.

I was lying in a hospital bed surrounded by my colleges. I tried to sit up but I was strapped down. Then I started to thrash around trying to break free, Nurse Pool called over Dr Ben Jackson, who then injected me with something. I was trying to talk to them when my whole body including my mouth seemed to fall asleep. Ben shouted "Why did you do it Fraiser?" _What have I done? _When I woke up in a cold sweat I could still hear Ben's voice in my head, and I could feel the confusion that his words had made me feel. But I made my way downstairs thinking about how Josh would over react to the fear he must have felt emanating from me as I was dreaming.

Downstairs I found that Josh had actually gone to college. I sat down and suddenly remembered a part of my dream, the reason why I was in hospital. Ben had told Dr Alex about my arms, she then had assumed that I have a mental issue, and had tried to hurt myself with these strange markings. My greatest fear had come to me in a dream. Presenting the option that maybe I should have been more careful, and not let Ben catch me with my bandages off.

Dr Alex would love that, she really would. I would mean that she would finally get the job she _deserved._ Thinking about the dream I kept seeing her smug little face looking down at me.

The shrill ringing of the phone brought me out of my daydream.

"Hello"

"Hello. Is that Dr O'Neil?"

"It is"

"Ah good! " It was Dr Jones, his well spoken voice wasn't hard to forget.

"What can I help you with Dr Jones. Is there a problem?"

"No old chap. No problem at all. How are you feeling Dr O'Neil?" The feeling of claustrophobia that I had felt in my dream crept up on me again.

"Oh. I am fine Thank you. And yourself?"

"Just fine chap. Look here, the reason I am calling is to let you know that you've been given a week's holiday, we've covered all your shifts old chap so don't worry about a thing. You see a few of the Doctors on your ward have been thinking you've looked rather over worked recently, and the Rota seems to agree with them. You've been working all hours Dr. Very commendable. Not easy to find a hard worker like yourself these days."

"Oh! Well there's no need really. I'm fine. Just been working my usual shifts"

"The decision has been made by the board. No problems at all, they think you deserve it chap, so enjoy it!"

"I don't know what to say."

"We don't want you burning out Dr O'Neil! You are an excellent Doctor, don't make them like you anymore! And we certainly wouldn't want to loose you to fatigue. Take the time off to catch up on some sleep. You work very hard Doctor, and the board recognizes that. This is our way of saying Thank you chappy, and Bravo"

"Well thank you I just do what I am paid to do Dr Jones."

"Don't be modest! You go the extra mile to make sure every patient is as comfortable and happy as possible. We could do with a few more like you. There are some on your very ward who only seem to be in the job for the pay slip"

"I know exactly what you mean Dr Jones"

"Righto chap, I'll be off. I about to set off to the golf course, I have a game arranged with Charles Alex |||.

"Okay, thank you for the call. Goodbye"

He had been talking about Dr Alex, when he said "_some on your very ward who only seem to be in the job for the pay slip" _The only reason she still had a job was because she was married the Charles Alex |||, the richest member of the hospital board. No one dared upset him by giving his wife the boot, because we all knew what happened to someone who went against his word. You'd never be a Doctor again, he knew people in very high places, all over the country. It only takes a few words here and there to get a potential employer to throw your application in the bin.

Overwhelmed, I slammed the phone into the receiver. _Why on earth do I need time off? _I was sure that this must have been the handiwork of Dr Alex. What with her questions as to my health, and the comment I still cannot understand _"It's not you I'm worried about_". She must have spoken to someone about my health. How I would love to put that woman in a room with Josh, and see what she is really feeling.

Poor Josh. As if I would subject him to that. I think it would probably be a fate worse than death. Besides I have a feeling that Dr Alex would be very guarded with her emotions.

I heard Josh come through the front door and drop his bags, it must be about half four. Josh walked into the front room and just stood there, staring at me. I can't decide whether it was anger, or worry that's making him so hostile.

"Josh chill out. I'm fine there is nothing wrong."

"I don't believe you."

He walked upstairs in a huff, leaving me feeling sorry for myself. Josh has it hard, he has to share in my emotion, and he has no idea why he's feeling it. But it's hard on me too, it's hard on all of his friends. Well the ones that know, Me, Annabel, and James. We constantly have to try and guard our feelings from him, and when we can't we have to explain. James was lucky Josh couldnt pick up on James emmotion.

I called upstairs

"Are you hungry?" No reply. "Josh?" and again silence, is he ignoring me?

"Josh are you in here?" No answer.

I opened the door anyway, I don't care if he doesn't want to talk to me, I care too much about him being alone and upset.

Josh just sat at his desk, holding a photo frame.

"Josh. Are you ignoring me?"

He didn't move he just kept looking at the same picture that I had in my desk at work. He was crying.

"Oh Josh come here." I pulled him into a hug. I mistakenly thought that he was over his grief. Well as much as anyone can be. "Josh it's ok."

He dried his eyes and looked up at me. "Do you miss them?"

"Every day Josh." I looked across the room, and tried to compose my face. I didn't want to break down in front of Josh. He laughed, looking up at me through his eyelashes wet with tears. "What's funny?"

"I've never felt that from you before."

"Felt what?"

"Normally, when I talk about them, I can feel anger. I thought you didn't…care about them" he gulped down another set of tears.

"Of course I miss them Josh. It's only natural, I can't believe you'd ever think I didn't"

"Well, I never felt nothin' except anger. I was too scared to ask"

"Scared?"

"Yea, that I might be right"

"Go on"

"I thought that you didn't want me after all"

"Josh! How could you think that?"

"Well it was just when I was in hospital. You wouldn't come see me, and I felt that anger. I thought you were mad that mum and dad had left you with me"

"Josh. You should have said something"

"I know that now." He said laughing. We were quiet for a minute I looked out of the window.

"Frais?"

"Yea?"

"Why _didn't_ you come in to see me?"

"I don't know Josh. I just couldn't do it. I tried I really did I drove down but I

just couldn't walk through the door."

"Ouch"

"What"

"Your feeling angry again."

"Oh sorry." The burning was back in my arms again "I'll explain, I'm angry with me, not you, me for being weak. You needed me and I couldn't be there for you."

"I had James"

"Yes you did. But it should have been me"

"Well, it grosses me out to say it old man, but your lucky you've got James, how he feels about you, what would you do without him"

"I thought you couldn't read James?"

"Not often, but a couple of times he's let his guard down. Don't let him know though, It'd spoil my fun"

"Ha-ha really ?"

"Yep"

We talked for a bit about James, and about Josh when he was in the hospital, and most importantly what I was making for tea.

"Frais?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you"

"Your welcome bro."

In the kitchen I prepared some food, took a plate for Josh upstairs and left him to have a bit of private time. With all the time I'd spent at work recently, I thought Annabel had been a bit neglected. I picked up the phone to give her a call, but as per usual it ran straight through to voice mail. Typical.

"Hey it's Fraiser just calling for a catch up. I've got the week off work, and I don't want to get lonely. I know shocking isn't it? Me, off work. But I'll fill you in with the gossip later, love you, Bye"

"Since when do you take time off work?" I nearly jumped out of my skin not realizing that Josh was directly behind me.

"You made me jump! I thought you were in your room?"  
"Yeah I got a bit lonely up there. Anyway, don't change the subject! I know your game, why do you have the week off?"

"Well Dr Jones thinks I am working too hard and need a break. So he has ordered me to have a week off, and relax"

"You're kiddin' I thought you just sat on ya bum in an office all day, that's why it's getting so big!" Well at least his bad mood had passed, at my expense. I chuckled at his jest "Nah, I'm playin', but seriously I agree, you spend more time at the hospital than home. Is Annabel coming over?"

Josh liked Annabel, they have always gotten on really well. They wind each other up a lot, like brother and sister. But I knew Josh also had a bit of a soft spot for Annabel.

"I don't know I called but no answer."

"Typical."

"Ha-ha that's what I thought"

She always misses her calls, usually she called back within ten minutes. Especially if she thinks there's some gossip in it for her. So no return call meant she was busy. Josh and I sat together and watched a bit of television, until there was nothing left worth watching, I saw Josh turn to face me and knew that a series of questions were heading my way. No doubt he wanted to know about last night, and whatever he'd been feeling.

"So… it's later. You promised?"

"Yes I did didn't I. My arms started to burn at the beginning of my shift. Bad day as you know You think that was it?"

"It's not that, I know how that feels. Doesn't really bother me anymore to be honest. I got used to it"

"Umm. I had a bad dream?" I told Josh what happened in my dream. And I wasn't allowed to miss out any tiny details. When Josh feels something he won't be able to stop feeling it until he has the source well and truly detected. It's impossible to keep anything from him, because he always knows that your hiding something. And when he doesn't notice something is amiss straightaway, your betrayed by your emotions. A tiny little inkling of pleasure at your success in deceiving the "All-knowing Josh" and he comes down on you like a rain of bullets.

"Well that's all I can think of Josh."

"This is so frustrating. I don't know what it is. I can still feel it now, and you've told me everything. Haven't you?" I could almost feel him probing my senses to check that I was harboring any glee or satisfaction with having kept a secret.

"That's all kid, sorry. I'll be sure to alert you immediately if anything comes to mind"

"Deal." He laughed at my formal address. I'm sure he does sometimes think of himself as some kind of army general, someone with authority over others.

After a while Josh went to his room. He must have fallen asleep at about seven. The poor kid had had a trying day.

When my mobile rang I hoped it would be Annabel, calling to see if she could come round for a bit of wine and a film. But the screen showed Ben Jackson. I wondered what could have prompted his call?

"Hello Ben. How are you?"

"Hi. Yeah I'm fine. But what's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to intrude but why have you had to take time off work?"

"How did you know about that?"

"Well I went into work to talk to Jenny I just couldn't stop thinking about her situation. I needed to talk to her. When I bumped into Dr Alex who gladly informed me that you'd had to take a week off due to important personal issues. I wondered that something bad might have happened to Josh, and thought you might need a friend?"

"She said what?"

"So it's not true then?"

"No it's true, well I have been given a week off. But it was a choice made by the board, not a personal decision. And there are certainly no personal reasons for me to stay home. How dare she? I might just go down to the hospital and talk to her about this tomorrow."

"Well I don't think that's a good idea. You don't want to upset her, you know what could happen"

"Bollocks. I don't care. How dare she say that."

"Look I am sorry I didn't mean to upset you."

"Oh you haven't Ben. That women just annoys the hell out of me."

"Yea I know but it's not exactly worth losing your job over is it?"

"Ha-ha they wouldn't dare get rid of me for upsetting a pig headed Doctor. Half the staff can't stand her anyway, they don't even talk to her"

"Yes but money talks."

"I guess your right."

"Anyway what are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"Do you fancy a late birthday drink I know you said you dont celebrate it but it would be rude not to do something?"

"Ha ha well I would love to go out and not celebrate my birthday. But I don't want to leave my brother alone tonight. He's been really upset this evening. You know tough year and all that"

"I am sorry to hear that. Is he ok now?"

"Yeah I think so. I just want to keep an eye on him I thought he was over the worst part of the grief, he'd stopped talking about them, but it seems he just didn't want me to find him too trying"

"It's something you'll never get completely over. There are always things that will remind you both I am sure. So another night then?"

"Well why don't you come over here I've got some cold beers seems a shame for them to be sat in the fridge all night"

"If that's cool with you it's cool with me?"

"Yeah sure. Do you want me to come by and pick you up?"

"Nah its ok I'll get a taxi over. I'll pop to the shop and get a few more beers in shall I?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"Ok see you in about fifteen then."

"Yeah, see you in a bit."

It would have been nice if Annabel had called back. I think she would love Ben. He's the kind of guy that gets along with anybody, and he's so easy to talk to. But never mind, there were other times, I think that Ben and I could be good friends in time.

I heard a cab pull up, and Ben knocked on the door.

"Come in."

"Thanks. This is a lovely house you have."

"Hey, thanks. I'll put these beers in the fridge for later. You didn't need to

bring anything. We always have plenty in. Anyone would think we were

alcoholic's the way James and Josh drink." i showed Ben through to the kitchen

Josh came thundering down the stairs shouting, and scaring the hell out of Ben.

"Frais? Fraiser! I've worked it out. Where are you?"

"Excuse me Ben I will be back in a minute." I walked through to the front room.

"What's up?" I whispered.

"What are you whispering for Fraiser?" He peeked over my shoulder and saw Ben sitting alone in the kitchen. "Oh sorry! I didn't realize you had a guest"

"It's ok what have you worked out?"

"I know what's wrong with you."

"Okay… go on?"

"Well it's a bit of everything James not being here your dream, work, everything it just seemed worse then it was that was all."

"Well I am glad you worked it out Josh. Now you can stop bugging me."

"Ha-ha very funny. So who's your mate?"

"It's Ben from work. He's popped over for a few beers."

"Nice one I need a new drinking buddy now that James is away." Josh looked at his feet and blushed "Sorry."

"What?"

"You miss him. I won't mention his name to you again."

"Thanks."

"I can see why your stupid rule works now."

"It's not stupid Josh."

"Whatever."

Me and James had a rule that when either of us were away it would be easier if we didn't call each other. Maybe it was a stupid rule, but it worked. I

wouldn't sit by the phone waiting for him to call and the same for him. We would just get on with being apart.

"Well come on then are you going to introduce me to my new drinking buddy or what?"

"Okay, okay keep your hair on." We walked into the kitchen where Ben was waiting. "Ben this is Josh my little brother."

"Nice to meet you Ben; Fraiser tells me you bought some beer's round?"

"Ha-ha nice to meet you Josh. You were right he is an alcoholic."

"What have you been telling him Fraiser?" Josh's faked irritation seemed to un-nerve Ben for a second. I started to feel sorry for him.

"Nothing that's not true."

"Oh well if we are playing the truth game…"

"Josh " I said in a sharp voice "careful."

"Ha-ha I know I am only kidding." I guess this was hard for Ben, me and Josh are so in tune, one of us only speaks half a sentence and the other answers an un-asked question.

"Come into the living room Ben. Make yourself at home."

"Um can I use your bathroom?"

"Yeah sure it's in the entrance hall on your right."

"Thanks." He smiled and walked towards the door. I swiveled to face Josh.

"Josh watch yourself he knows nothing. Okay?"

"Chill! My lip's are sealed. He is quite open though I think he would be okay with everything. It might shock him at first, but he would understand."

"Maybe but it's not the right time ok."

I was sure that Josh was right, but he said the same about Annabel when we came to tell her. And she freaked out for a good half an hour before we could get her to sit down on the sofa. Sure, she's fine with it now, but am I ready to tell Ben? A guy I hardly know.

Josh looked at me, and started to laugh, obviously he too was remembering Annabel's tantrum. Ben walked in trying to work out the unspoken joke.

"Sit down Ben." Josh said. "Your making me _feel_ uncomfortable."

"Josh" My stern eye wiped the smile from his face.

"What I didn't say anything. Have a beer Fraiser."

Ben is a clever man, and it didn't take him long to guess that there was something we weren't telling him. He looked from Josh to Me and back. Looking like he was giving us a psycho-analysis.

"I hope my brother hasnt been to harsh on you last night he gets a bit touchy on his birthday."

"Kid Watch yourself." I shouted he was being very annoying tonight.

"No He was ok so why dont you like your birthday Its the best time you get gifts and people have to be nice to you for the day."

"Ha Is that right." I let out a dark laugh that spooked Josh he could feel my annoyance not bens fault though Josh now knew it was a bad idea to bring that up in conversation.

"So Why dont you like it is because your getting old because you dont look that old?"

"No Its not that." I said hesident to answer any more questions.

"So I hear Frais gave you a lift home in his beloved car." Josh said to change the subject.

Ben defently knew it was time to stop asking questions about my birthday.

Ben eased a little now.

"Yeah that's right. It's a lovely car. I would love one but maybe in a different color."

"Hey red is a good color." I only pretended to be offended and happy he had stoped asking the other questions.

"If you say so. I would have it in black like your car out front Josh"

"Oh that's not my car." Josh put his head down.

"Josh doesn't drive." I said maybe a bit harshly, but I'm a big brother, of sorts, and over protective is what we do.

"Sorry I just assumed."

Josh looked up at me now. "It's ok." He was talking to Ben but didn't lower his gaze from my eyes. He could feel the guilt in me.

"Any one hungry? I am going to order takeaway."

"Yeah good idea Frais I am hungry again. I laughed, Josh like James, was ALWAYS hungry.

"What about you Ben?"

"Yeah sound's good."

"What do you fancy?"

"Pizza" Ben and Josh said at the same time. They looked at each other and laughed.

"I will go order a couple. Meat feast all round?"

"Sound's good " They both said again.

I got up and as I walked to the phone. I could hear Josh apologizing to Ben for my harsh tone a few moments ago.

"Yeah sorry about Frais he hates his birthday some stuff happened on that day which he wont deal with so he doesnt like talking about it he would rather pretend that that day never happend."

"I understand."

"He also gets a bit defensive when people think it's my car."

"No need to explain Josh."

"No it was rude of him you weren't to know." Josh paused for a minute. "I was in the car that crashed and killed my parents. I haven't been able to drive since the accident. Even getting in a car is hard for me. I can just about face being a passenger. But to be able to drive again well I just can't face that"

"I am sorry to hear. It must have been very tough for you both when you lost them.

You shouldn't apologize Fraiser is just looking out for you."

"They say it get's easyer in time I dont know if it does." I hear Josh say as i wonder back in the conversation.

"Yes time is a great healer suposivley." Ben says looking into the distance thinking off something else I ashume.

"I guess there is some truth in it.

I can smile and it doesnt hurt as much." Josh looks up to me now.

I see the pain and the guilt in his eyes. I feel a tear run down my face

The guilt that shouldnt be there it wasnt his fault even though he wouldnt listen to any one who tried to tell him diffrent

"Frais your right Ben is easy to talk to. He's very open."

I wiped the tears before Ben noticed.

"Annabel" I reminded him.

"Ok sure thing I wont say another word on the matter."

Ben looked confused again I didn't blame him Josh can be really stupid sometimes. I know he was only looking out for me but I wasn't ready to spill the beans even if Ben was ready to hear it. The night went past very quickly. Josh was happy he had a drinking buddy again. I never even tried to keep up with them. It looked like they were trying to out drink each other, funny to watch because Josh was still a young lad. And the drunker he got the more he drank, and the more he denied that he was even tipsy. Ben was the first one to pass out. Then Josh moments after.

Thinking ahead, I've decided that in the morning I will make a fry up. Perfect hangover food, and lots of pots to bang around. Well it has to be done. Maybe they will think before they drink next time. I got my mobile out and took a picture of them both sprawled out on the table with empty bottles all over the place. I sent it to Annabel. She will like that she can use it to wind up Josh

The next time she comes over. I was going to try and call her but it was three in the morning and don't think she would be very pleased with that. I put a blanket over them, I wasn't going to move them it would only wake them. Knowing Josh as I do, if he wakes up he will just want to start again.

I went to the front room and fell asleep on the sofa.


	3. Chapter 3

_CHAPTER 3_

My head is so sore this morning, and I hate to think how Josh and Ben must be feeling. Deciding to leave them to sleep off the hangovers, I'm going to get in the shower. _Oh NO! _If I'm not wearing my bandages now, then I wasn't wearing them last night. Maybe Ben didn't notice, he would have said something if he had noticed, I'm sure he would. Or maybe Josh was right when he thought that Ben was ready to hear about my past. Maybe he's the kind of guy who takes everything in his stride, even Josh's strange sixth sense.

Dressing again after my shower, I make sure that my bandages are showing, maybe Ben did see last night, and just didn't think anything of it. This morning he might ask me about the bandages, he see's them all the time, and has never asked about them once. Ben has probably been told the story, and just assumes that's what the scars are, but then I don't really think he's the kind of guy to listen to gossip.

The office story is that as a child I was caught in a minor fire, classic tale, a little boy plays with matches once too often. And I wear the bandages to cover the burns, and the scars where my skin was grafted. It makes sense. This is the story I gave at my interview, and one that has stopped questions from probing team mates. When they think my arms are hideously disfigured, they don't tend to want to talk about it anymore, Which suits me perfectly.

Downstairs Josh and Ben are still asleep. I think I should wake them, they can't be comfortable.

The high pitch tone of the phone brings me into the hallway.

"Hello" I sound hung-over. I really didn't have that much to drink.

"Fraiser? There you are"

"James?"

"Yeah don't sound so shocked. I tried ringing you why didnt you call me back?"

"No I didnt want to talk to you I just wanted to forget."

"Yes thats right ignore it and will go away it wont fraiser and this proves it doesnt it?"

"Proves what?

"I rang your work and was told you where on personal leave?"

"James, is this why you are ringing?

"Well Yes but there is something else.

"Whats wrong?"

"Don't panic Fraiser. Nothing's wrong."

"Then why is there something else?"

"Man, you are grumpy today! Have you been drinking? Oh please don't tell me you been trying to drink Josh under the table?" I have missed the sound of James' carefree laughter.

"I had a couple. And anyway if I wanted to beat Josh in a drinking match I could. I just choose not to. So… why have you broken the rules?"

"Sorry I know I have! But when I heard you'd taken time off work, it side-tracked me! Is it to much fraiser me being away your erm yeah you know?" Oh here he goes, vain as ever!

"No now that's completely unfair James. I can cope and As if I would take time off beacuse you are away?"

"Well why are you off then? Is it Josh, is he ok?"

"He is fine James he's passed out on the kitchen table."

"So I was right you did try!"

"No I didn't. Ben from work came over and he tried to but failed. It was close though."

"Ha-ha. Fool! What would posses the guy to even attempt it?"

"Well it doesn't stop you from trying every time! So, come on what's the big news?"

"Ahh..." Oh no, this sounds like trouble. I hope he doesn't have to stay away for any longer, it's already killing me, and his rule breaking has not helped and I wasnt about to tell him that. "Well… I broke my leg"

Silence. I can't catch my breath, what was he doing to have broken his leg?

"You have done what?"

"I'm fine I got it in a plaster cast. I was going to stay here but it sound's like

you need me at home. So I am going to make arrangement's to come back."

"What, hang on a minute how did you break it?"

"I will explain when I come back. I should be able to get home tonight.

I will ring you when I know more."

"James you don't need to come back. If your okay and you can continue on your course then there is no reason for you to come back early"

"No I am coming home someone needs to sort you out, you sound hung-over, and a bit down. And you're never off work."

"I don't need sorting out. I'm fine. And it wasn't my decision to have time off."

"Tough I am coming home I've made my mind up. There is no point arguing with me Fraiser."

"Fine."

"Ok grumpy pants, ring you in a bit."

"Whatever James you do what you want you normally do."

"Fraiser don't be like that." His voice sounded strained now.

"What your the one who thinks I can't look after myself."

"Ok fine if your going to be like that then I wont call you. I will just turn up."

"Fine by me."

"Fraiser don't be a twat I will see you later grumpy."

"Yep. Your choice not mine."

"I am not going to get anywhere arguing with you when your in this kind off mood"

"I am not in a mood" I said, getting angrier by the minute. I can look after myself. James, and even my little brother treatin me like a kid.

"Ok whatever you say. I love you and we will sort this out later."

"Bye then." and I slam the phone down.

I do not believe him. I can look after myself. I don't need help. My arms are burning more than they have in a while, just because I'm so angry. Great. And now I have to tell him that he might be right about my emotions being in link with the pain in my arms.

The screeching of a chairs legs along the floor tells me someone is awake. I can hear Josh making a whimpering sound, he gets louder, and as I reach the kitchen I can see that he is holding onto his forearms. Just where I am holding mine.

"God damn it Fraiser! What is wrong with you?"

Ben's dreary eyes look confused. He has just woken up and doesn't understand what's going on between me and Josh. Poor guy. I look at Josh meaningfully and he tries to carry on like nothing has happened. But I can still see the anger in his eyes.

He had felt my anger, and the pain that joins it.

"Ouch my head" Ben said. Finally Josh breaks off his glare and looks at Ben. He laughs and points to himself, in some sort of victory pose.

"I won."

"What? No you didn't Josh"

"You passed out before me Ben."

"No I think you will find that you passed out first."

"Fraiser who passed out first?" Josh's gloating smile, makes me laugh. He always wins, and he knows that I know it.

"I think you did Ben."

"What? No way!"

"It was close though, a couple of minutes later and you were gone Josh."

"I win I win." Josh does a dance around the table.

"How do you do it?" Ben's awestruck expression I picture perfect.

"Practice, And like Fraiser said, I am an alcoholic "

"Ha-ha alcoholic's don't get drunk. and you were definitely drunk."

"And how do you know that?" Josh is again going into defense mode, apparently he is never drunk, just always slightly tipsy. I think that for college kids, it's supposed to be a 'cool' thing to be an alcoholic.

Ben's face dropped. "Because my father was, and probably still is an alcoholic. I know the signs mate, and your just a slightly heavy drinker." His little smile doesn't do the trick of hiding his bad feelings towards his father.

"Ben I am so sorry , I didn't know, I didn't ,mean to offend you"

"It's okay Josh. It's all in the past now were it belongs, just thought I'd let you know, you're not as hard core as you thought" Ben is a nice guy, and he laughs at Josh, he didn't really say anything offensive, after all he's just a kid. "Do you mind if I take a shower?"

"Yeah sure I will show you were it is."

"Cool. thanks Fraiser."

As Ben is walking out of the room, Josh points at my arms meaningfully. I caught his drift, he wants me to explain.

"Okay. I will be back in a minute."

After showing Ben where everything lives in the bathroom, I force myself to go downstairs and confront Josh. I know he isn't going to let this drop, he always has to pull every little emotion to pieces. Trying to make up a big significant meaning for the burning. It grows tiresome.

Looking like a police officer about to interrogate a criminal mastermind, Josh sits staring at me with his arms folded in the living room.

"Have I done something wrong Fraiser?" His face softens, and the poor kid looks ready to cry again.

"What do you mean Josh?"

"If it's about the mess we made I'll clean it up, and if i said to much last night iam sorry but I didn't think it would made you that angry."

"You didn't do anything wrong Josh. I am a bit hung-over that's all."

"No it's not that. You are really angry why?"

"Josh it's nothing. It's just that James…" Annabel is so convenient, she decides to ring me just when I need an escape. "It's Annabel, can I take it?"

"Yep sure."

"Hey you! How's it going honey?"

"Hay hay! Good night last night was it?"

"What?"

"I got the picture message silly!"

"Oh! Yea it's a keeper isn't it?." I had forgotten all about that picture of Josh and Ben collapsed on the table.

"Wait 'til I see Josh next, he is going to get it big time. How is he?"

"Very hung-over. It looks like he has found a new drinking buddy. And one that can almost keep up with him" Josh's stern face broke into a little smile, then he reigned himself back in again, remembering that he is trying to interrogate me.

"Really? Blimey, never thought I'd see the day."

"Ha-ha yeah I know."

"So what's going on with you? Why are you off work that's not like you?"

"It's a long story, and why does everyone keep saying that? I'm not a complete work 'o' holic" Again, Josh is unable to control his expression, and I give him a slap round the ear in a playful way.

"Ha-ha. Sure! Well now you have time on your hand's we can meet for lunch?"

"Yeah that would be great I haven't seen you in ages."

"I know, it's been a while, and afterwards I'll come back to yours? Then I can pick on Josh for a bit?"

"Yeah! I'm pretty sure he'd love that. Any attention from you darling is good attention to Josh." It's Josh's turn to give me a whack, only his wasn't so playful. Josh is completely in love with Annabel, and is still under the illusion that she doesn't really know it yet.

"Ok cool well I have a few gig's today so I am a rammed. Um… what about tomorrow?"

"Sound's good."

"Ok I will come to yours and we can take the Audi."

"Oh Annabel is that all you want me for?"

"Yeah you better believe it"

"Ok I will see you tomorrow."

"It's a date."

"What with the car?"

"Yeah I like your thinking Fraiser. Smell ya later!"

"Charming, bye!"

I turn to carry on the conversation with Josh when Ben re-enters the room.

I look at Ben, he's not looking good, even after the shower his hair is sticking up in every direction, and he has huge bags under his eyes. I'm guessing that drinking and late nights aren't his usual habit.

"How you feeling Ben?"

"Not good I am going to go home and sleep. I think I'm going to ring work

and tell them I am ill."

"Awesome! Why is Ben so much cooler than you Frais, you'd never call in sick! I'm totally wagging college today!" I know that Josh has had a hard time this past year, but if he carries on missing college like this, the rest of his life is going to be hard.

"Josh I don't think that's a good idea. You have missed a lot of college.

I don't want you to drop behind any more than you have already."

"Your not my keeper Fraiser. I can do what I want." Josh's harsh retaliation is so out of character.

"I'm just concerned Josh, can't you just go in for the afternoon then?"

"No! I don't want too! I hate college, and I'm not going" _How dare he? He's ruining his own life, and blaming me for it!_

"What if I wasn't here Josh? How would you cope? You wouldn't would you? I bet you would just fall apart. I've been the one who's had to be strong. I'm looking out for you. That's the thanks' I get. I didn't get a choice in this, so you could cut me a bit of slack." Ben and Josh were stunned by my reaction then Josh let rip.

"Do you know what Fraiser no one gets a choice! Did I choose to have you as my guardian instead of just my brother? I chose to let my parents die in a crash? I chose to be a freak! You don't have to deal with that, everyday! And don't tell me you understand, because you don't, if you did you wouldn't mind a few days off college! You've got no idea what I would do to just be normal !"

I just realized that I have completely forgotten that Ben is still here, I look over at him and he's totally confused and a bit scared, I try and lower my voice to try and sooth Josh "Calm down, you don't want to say something you'll regret"

"That's my point isn't it. I'm always careful, always thinking about everyone else! I'm the one who has to put up with everyone's feelings, and yet no-one thinks about how it makes me feel. And what's worse I can't switch it off, sometimes I dream about someone else's problems, and feelings, I can't switch it off! College is the only thing I can take control of, and I'm NOT going!" Josh looks as if he's ready to cry, his voice breaks as he's yelling at me.

"Josh" I'm trying to plead with him " Please, your angry you don't know what your saying" Josh turns to Ben.

"No I think he should know. I think every one should know."

"Josh don't you dare. Calm down." I like Ben, I do. But I don't know him well enough for this. What if he's one of them? What if my real parents have found me, and they've sent Ben to get Josh for his talent? But then wouldn't Josh pick that up? I can feel the anger building up inside me at the thought of my real parents. My arms burn like hot coals.

"And how do you expect me to calm down Fraiser? It's your anger not mine." Josh stops and puts his head in his hands. "I am sorry Fraiser but I can't carry on like this. I can't keep lying about who I am and what I can do."

"Fine tell everyone, shout it about the town. Josh do what you want with it but I am warning you if you get locked up, I can't help you. Do you understand what I am saying Josh?"

"This is what I mean all the cryptic clues. Why can't I just say what I feel?"

"Because most people don't understand Josh. They will think your a complete psycho and lock you up."

"Well maybe that's for the best then Fraiser." I can hear the hurt in his voice.

"Don't you ever say that again. Do you hear me. Josh you wouldn't ever come out. You do understand that don't you. I see it all the time Josh. I don't need you saying you would prefer that life compared to the life you've got now."

The anger is continuing to bubble up inside me, my arms feel like they are on fire. A sharp pang of pain on one of the biggest scars I have, nearly makes me faint, I clasp my hand over the reddened mark and I hear Josh gasp. As I look up he sways, and Ben leaps forward to support him. Even through the pain and anger I can see to genuine care and concern on Ben's face.

"Frais… please, I can't cope, leave." The color drains from Josh's face, and his breath comes in shallow, labored gasps.

"I'm not leaving you in this state Josh." He lets out a whimper and falls deeper into Ben's arms. Ben looks up at me not understanding what's going on between us.

"Fraiser I think you should do what Josh asks"

"Please.. I can't handle the pain like you can"

"Look after him" I shout as I run out of the room.

I get in the car, and drive, going nowhere but not staying here. Not if it hurts Josh. I don't know how far away I have to get but I keep going. I hate myself leaving Josh in that state but I couldn't stay. I feel awful for thinking that Ben could have been part of the cult. He didn't question us; he just stood there and looked after Josh when I couldn't. I pull over the car in a lay by, about a mile away from home, and cover my face with my hands.

Half an hour later and the only place I can think to go is the hospital. I know it's sad, but I feel comfortable there. Pulling up in the car park I see Dr Alex's car, I'm hit by a new wave of anger, and then guilt, what if Josh can still feel me? Maybe all the problems I've caused for Josh in the past few days are because of what she said to me the other night? Well, now that I'm here I may as well sort out this business with her, maybe I'll feel better for getting this off my chest. And stopping the talk of my family crisis, I'm apparently going through.

After parking the car I sign in, although I'm not planning on being here very long, I don't want to draw un due attention from the security guy. Right, I need a plan, I'll thank her for the time off, that'll shock her, then I'll ask why she thought I may need it. If I handle this calmly she may agree to let the rest of the staff know that my time off is a reward not a necessity.

As I walk onto the ward, some of the temp nurses stop and look at me, I had obviously just interrupted their gossip, I ask where I may find Dr Alex.

"I think she is in her office" The nurse is very quiet, and her cheeks flush bright red, obviously they had been discussing my absence.

Dr Alex wasn't in her office, and wasn't wandering the ward. I sigh and decide that while I'm here I will have something to eat in the canteen, she might even be in there. I just need to nip into my office and get my spare change from my draw.

"Do you not know how to knock?" Dr Alex is sitting at my desk, and doesn't even look up when I enter.

"No not when it's my office." As she looks up I see that she is just as shocked to see me in my office as I am to see her here.

"Dr O'Neil what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question?"

"Well I am working. Shouldn't you be on leave?" Her lips twist into a sly smile, she is trying to twist this all around on me.

"Yes or as I've heard the nurse's saying, I'm taking time off for personal reasons" I raise my eyebrows at her, indicating that I think I know where the rumor had come from.

"Oh! I'm sorry, that's what I thought it was" She looks up to me and widens her eyes, but the smug smile on her lips betrays her.

"You know full well why I have been told to take time off."

"I don't know what you are talking about Dr O'Neil."

"Drop the crap Dr Alex I know you were behind this. I am here to tell you your game's wont work with me."

I get a little bit of a thrill from the shock on her face, the way her jaw dropped was actually laugh worthy, she stands and straightens her shirt, composes herself and pouts.

"Be careful Dr O'Neil." She says quietly as she passes me.

"Is that a threat Dr Alex?" I say this quite loudly, causing the doctor and nurse walking past my still open door to turn their heads towards me. I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of thinking she has one up on me, or that she can control me. Dr Alex throws her head back and stalks out of my office, glaring at the dawdling couple.

I am going to keep my eye on her, I really don't trust her. Why was she using my office instead of her own? Was she trying to subtly show the other doctors that she was filling my position whilst I'm away? Because that's not what I've been told. I move everything back to where it should be and lock all my draws. I don't want her snooping through them again , her presence in my office has made me paranoid.

As I am leaving to grab something to eat Nurse Pool runs into me. I bend to pick up her folders and she grabs hold of my arm.

"Dr O'Neil I just received a phone call from Dr Jackson. He said he wasn't feeling too good and wouldn't be working today. Is he ok?" Oh no. What am I supposed to say?

"Yes he will be fine it's just a stomach bug I believe." Not a very convincing act from me, but believable.

"Are you sure? He sounded very ill"

"I am sure he will be fine. He just need's to rest."

"Is your brother okay?"

"Sorry?"

"Your brother. Dr Jackson said he was looking after him? He didn't sound too good It sounded like he was in a lot of pain, I could here him in the background. Does he have the same bug?"

"Yes he does, I think Ben must have caught it from him, he was round at mine for tea last night" I gabble on at her, suddenly not hungry and very worried,

"Are you ok Dr O'Neil you look very upset?" I could hear the genuine concern in her delicate voice.

"No I am fine just having a bad day I guess."

"Yes well I expect so by the sounds of you brother I wouldn't like to catch that bug. Poor Dr Jackson. I hope he will be ok. I was a bit rude to him yesterday when he came back to talk to me. I guess you heard?" She looks at the floor, and fidgets with the corners of her folder.

"No I hadn't heard why what happened?"

"Well he came to talk to me about my ex partner. He likes to hang around, and yesterday I got upset about it. He isn't a nice man, you see. Dr Jackson wanted to help, but there really is nothing he can do, if my ex thought I was dating again it would only make things worse. I think I was a bit rude to him. I hope I didn't upset him"

"No I don't think you did Nurse Pool he seemed happy enough last night, don't worry about it. And I hope things get better with your ex"

"Oh good I will have a chat with him when he comes back, oh and thank you for listening to me. I trust you not to go blabbing to Dr Alex about this, or I may get a week off for 'personal reasons' too" She laughs and winks at me. At least some of the staff here aren't stupid enough to listen to rumors.

Dr Alex caught sight of us and started to make her way over "Do you not have enough work to do Nurse Pool?"

"Plenty thank you Dr Alex."

" Well get to it then this isn't a social club" Dr Alex sneers at Nurse Pool. And then mutters under her breath "Can't get the staff" She turns and starts to walk away.

" Hang on Dr Alex that's a bit out of order don't you think?" I defend Nurse Pool, who smiles at me gratefully, and turns bright red at the embarrassment of Dr Alex's allegations.

"Oh I am sorry I didn't realize you were working here today. Wait, that's right your not . Your on leave, for _personal_ reasons. I hope everything is alright with your brother, I understand it must be very hard to cope with." Dr Alex knows exactly what to say to get me angry, just as I started to calm down too.

"Erm, Dr Alex you can not talk to Dr O'Neil like that." Nurse Pool had also been bristled by Dr Alex's talk of my brother. Her cheeks were bright red, and I could almost see her heart pounding out of her chest as she took a stand against Dr Alex.

"No it's ok Nurse Pool. What Dr Alex doesn't understand is that when I get back off my well deserved Holiday thing's will be changing around here." Dr Alex tosses her head at the sheer indignation of being stood up too by a mere nurse, swivels around and stomps away.

"Well done you Dr O'Neil ! I should get back now, wish your brother and Dr Jackson to get well soon."

"Yes of course I will. I will see you in a week Nurse Pool."

"Okay. Bye!" she walks off with a spring in her step.

The confrontation with Dr Alex has put me in a good mood. I don't feel angry any more, just concerned about Josh. I ring his mobile, no answer, I ring the home phone, again no answer. Finally Ben picks up his mobile.

"Fraiser are you ok?"

"Yeah Ben I am fine. Can I talk to Josh?"

"Sure hang on."

"Frais you ok?"

"Yeah Josh I have cooled down now. What about you are you ok?"

"Yeah the pain has stopped now."

"Josh I am so sorry I put you through that I don't know what I was so angry for."

"Just everything getting on top of you. I think you just needed to explode."

"And what about Ben what does he think?"

"Well I ain't said anythin' to him, he ain't asked, so I dunno what you want me to do."

"Yeah it's a bit complicated that one. Well I think I will talk to him when I get back. If that's okay?"

"Are you coming back now?" The excitement in Josh's voice gives me a nervous twinge in my stomach.

"Yeah if that's ok with you?"

"Don't be stupid I want you here. I am sorry for blowing my cool with you."

"I don't think you need to apologize for that it was my anger not yours."

"I am not sure I think some of that was mine to."

"Well I am on my way back now so see you in a bit." Putting down the phone I'm starting to wonder what I'm going to say to Ben, how will he take it? Will he think we are lunatics? On the drive home I try to figure out the best way to tell Ben. I'm surprised that Josh hasn't told him already. That's what he did with Annabel. I will never forget that day.

Me and Annabel were at college. That day we had decided to skip our afternoon classes, and we went drinking. Now that I think about it, it's a bit hypocritical of me to have a go at Josh for doing the same thing. As we were student's we didn't have a lot of money so we decided to go back to my

place. My foster parent's bought it for me and James as a well done present for acing my first year at college., and getting myself sorted out at last. I was a bit of a wreck back then. Josh used to always bunk of school, he found it hard

to cope with all the teenage hormone's and feelings, not only his, but all of his friend's too. So he had to escape and my place was his sanctuary. He knew Annabel they got on very well from the start. We got back to mine and I had a pop at Josh for not going to school. I know he couldn't help it but he had to learn to cope with it. We were there for a while when Josh stood up and said "Frais she is going to be okay with this." He walked over to me, ripped my bandage's off my arms. She gasped and got up ran over to me and gave me a huge bear hug.

She didn't freak about me but we explained every thing to her and then about Josh. she couldnt take it in to begin with she wouldnt sit down for half an hour wondering around trying to work it all out.

but slowley she came round to what Josh could do.

I guess she felt like her personal life had been invaded but once she came around with the idea they became closer.

I think thats when Josh started to feel attracted to her.

It did feel good that she new but what Josh did was unbelievable I didn't speak to him for about a week after that. Things with Annabel turned out okay, but I didn't know Ben that well.

Stepping out of my car I heard footsteps behind me, and before I could turn around, Josh jumped on my back.

"That's better" He said. I shrug him off my back smiling, and we both look at the house.

"So what we going to tell him?" I'm so nervous.

"I don't know Frais. Something changed in him when we were arguing."

"What do you mean changed?"

"I am not sure it's like he switched off his emotion's then when you went I could feel something from him, it was an old pain, not strong he has had it for year's I think."

"Do you think it's got something to do with his parent's?"

"Could be but he is very guarded about it"

"Can you pick anything up from him now?"

"Yeah he's just like normal now."

"Strange."

As I walk into the front room I try and read Ben's expression. He's just sat on the sofa looking a little bit rough from last's nights binge.

"Ben I am so sorry you had to see all that earlier."

"It's ok you both seemed to have calmed down now. Are you okay?"

"Yeah it was my fault I can be a bit over the top when it comes to Josh." Josh turns to me.

"Your telling me you are." He's trying to make a joke out of the situation as per usual.

"So I don't know what to say on the matter really I guess you didn't quite understand what we were arguing about and some of the thing's that were said make us look a little crazy?"

Ben stands up, with the same peculiar look on his face.

"Your not crazy, there's something unusual about you two though…"

"Yeah?" I say apprehensively, I look at Josh, wondering what he's going to say.

"That's it, right there- you were doing that all night last night. It's really bizarre, you two are like connected somehow. I can see a very strong bond between you as brother's I guess I don't understand it because I never had a brother or a sister. But still I've been around other family's and that bond isn't as strong as you two are. It's weird. Don't get me wrong not in a creepy way

It just fascinates me."

"Oh um no one has ever said that before. Have they Josh?" We are both stunned, in one night Ben picked up on something that Annabel and James had to be told about after months. Maybe now is the right time to tell him. Josh catches my attention as his posture stiffens, something must have changed in Ben's emotions again, as Josh looks really concerned. Ben sits again, hanging his head between his knees.

"Are you ok Ben?" Josh sits next to him. After a long pause I look at Josh wanting an explanation, I guess that he must have switched of emotions again. Something like what Josh was trying to explain earlier. But Josh looks just as confused as I feel.

"Yeah sorry I am fine I just find all this family stuff a bit hard that's all."

Josh makes a sound of shock or pain, as he quickly draws breath. It makes me and Ben jump. We both look at him, wondering what happened.

"Josh you ok?" I ask

"Yep just cramp in me foot." He's lying as his voice is strained, I could tell that something Ben felt just then had hurt Josh, or surprised him.

"Stand up Josh you need to move around to get the circulation going." He limps to the kitchen, not very convincingly I may add. "I will just go see if he is ok I will be back in a minute."

I walk into the kitchen

"You ok?" I whisper to Josh

"Yeah Ben shut off then when he came back all his emotion hit me at once. I wasn't expecting it that's all."

"Ok well are we going to tell him?"

"No" Josh hasn't quite mastered the art of whispering.

"Shut up he will hear you."

"Everything ok in there?" Ben calls from the other room.

"Yeah sorry Ben. Josh is been a difficult patient."

"Ha-ha oh I see."

"I better go back in there will you be ok?"

"Yeah go."

"Sorry about that Josh can be a pain when he hurts himself."

"Fraiser you don't need to explain anything to me ok. I can see you two care about each other very much. And I guess when you lost your parents that bond became stronger."

"God damn it Fraiser." Josh shouts from the other room.

"Josh you ok?" I shout

"Yeah just cramp it hasn't gone yet."

"Ha-ha he is so impatient you wouldn't believe it." I try to sound natural, Ben's strange emotions has thrown off our plan to let him into our secret, and I'm wondering if he would have been able to cope at all.

"I need my bed. I think I will ring for a taxi." He says through a yawn.

"No don't be silly I will drive you home." I don't really want to leave Josh, I'm too eager to understand what had happened with Ben. But it's the least I can do for him when he's looked after Josh for me today.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah don't be silly I will just go and let Josh know you are leaving and see how the cramp is doing."

I walk into the kitchen Josh is sitting down at the table.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah I am now. Sorry I must be feeling a bit sensitive today. I'm picking up everything."

"I am going to give Ben a lift home now do you want to say good bye?"

"Um yeah should be safe to now." He glances towards the front room, and I'm dying to know what happened. We walk back in the front room Ben hasn't moved an inch.

"How's the cramp?"

"Oh it's better thanks'."

"Are you ready?" I say to Ben.

"Yeah sure am. It was nice to meet you Josh, and very interesting." Ben laughs at himself and Me and Josh join in.

"Yes it was a good night are you up for a rematch or have we scared you off?" Josh must think that Ben has recovered from the sight of our fight this morning.

"Definitely up for a rematch, but next time no arguing." We all laugh.

"Yes that won't happen again just a one off

"I agree! Arguing while you have a hang-over, not good."

I'm glad that Josh didn't tell Ben, he obviously wasn't ready to hear about Josh's uncanny ability to feel other people's emotions. I think that would have made him more uncertain about his own feelings and he would have tried to block them again. At least we parted on a good note, and Ben isn't scared to visit again.


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

Ben has hardly said a word throughout most of the journey back to his house. I glance to the side, and see his brow furrowed in deep concentration. I have to laugh out loud.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry Ben. You just looked very deep in thought"

" Haha, yea I bet I looked pretty dumb"

"You just looked like you weren't all there, that's all"

Back at Ben's, he momentarily glances at his front door and then swivels his face back to me. I can tell he wanted to ask me something, but felt rather uncomfortable.

"Do you want to come in for a tea or something Fraiser?"

"Yeah if you don't want to go straight to bed? You look tired"

"No come in. I will make you the best cup of tea you've had in ages."

"Well, I can't say no to that offer!"

Glad that Ben has made an obvious effort to befriend me, even after this morning's episode, i am beginning to feel less guilty about the awkward situation Josh and I had put him in. I really want him to know about Josh. He isn't ready to hear it. Well it isn't fair to burden him with it.

Josh seems to think there is something going on with him, so maybe I could help him out with that before I let him in on our problems, He definitely knows something isn't right about me and Josh, I guess he will ask when he want's to know.

His front room is small, but it isn't cramped as he has placed everything well. The walls are covered in pictures, obviously of other members of Ben's family as he doesn't feature in many of them. I look over to the fire place where there is a lovely mantelpiece; it has a couple of photo frames on top. Ben saw me looking at it.

"That's my mother and me." When i made a closer inspection i realised that the photograph is folded. Ben, and his mother are sat on the grass, with her arms around him. I open my mouth to ask Ben why it was folded. But I guess he had already known the question was coming.

"My father is on the other side holding a beer can. It just makes me angry when I look at him. Every photo I have of them he has a can or a bottle in his hand See" He points to another photo that hasn't been tampered with. I look at the other photo, his mother and father together, she was very pretty I could see where Ben got his good father looked old and distant but that would be the alcohol in him I assume..

"Your mother is very pretty Ben You look a lot like her."

"I'll go make the tea." his voice sounds broken, the anger and the pain together don't make for a good conversational tone. I look around at the other photos and casually wonder who these people are, would it be rude to ask him about his family. He seems to become angry whenever his mother and father are brought into conversation. As Ben brings the tea back into the room, i make the effort to look at something other than the photograph of his parents.

"So who do you look like more your mum or dad?" Keeping his eyes to the floor Ben is trying to think of something he can say, to swiftly take the attention away from himself and his family. His face crumples as he looks at me, realising what he has just asked.

"Sorry I didn't think when I said that,"

"No its okay. I don't know really, I don't know my real mother and father." That's a lie but I didn't want to go into that, not now.

"Oh sorry. I thought that your late parents were your real ones?"

"No they fostered me when I was about ten." A confused expression crosses Ben's face.

"So Josh isn't your real brother then?"

"No he's not."

It's my turn to look at the floor now. I'm not sure where this conversation is heading. Hopefully not more questions about my real parents.

I really don't like talking about them to anyone, not even to Josh. He regretted it last time he mentioned them. I used to get so angry when their names were mentioned.

"Well you would never guess you weren't related, I'm shocked he isn't actually."

"Yeah a lot of people say that."

"Well it's only blood. It doesn't mean anything."

"Thank's Ben a lot of people get a bit funny when they find out. Because we are so close they don't understand."

"Yes I imagine some people would find it a bit odd. But I don't believe that just because you haven't got the same blood it doesn't mean you can't be close. I guess you regarded your foster parents as your real parents then? That explains why you two are so close." He is kind of right but there are still things he doesn't know. Especially about Josh. I'm sure that when he finds out he will understand our bond a little better.

"So your mother does she live around here?" I casually ask Ben.

"No she doesn't. She decided it would be a good idea to leave me for my loving, drunk excuse of a father. Why? I don't know. I haven't spoken to her in years, she left me when I was seven."

"Ben I am so sorry. You really haven't had it easy have you?"

"Ha-ha no it's been tough. But I believe that was the best thing that could have happened. I think if she'd have stayed then my father would have stayed and I think I wouldn't be where I am today. I had a lot of anger in me when I was young, It scared me. I guess I have my father to thank for that. Even now I still have problems with it. I've had a lot of counselling for it. That helped a lot. You proberbly wouldn't recognise me if you knew me back then." He starts to laugh nervously at himself, and the fact that he just revealed so much to me.

"Do you know what? I totally get what you mean; I was like that when I was younger. I had a lot of anger in me too. I took it out on my foster parent's for a while until I had to get help. But I must admit I didn't stay in counselling for long it just wasn't for me."

"That doesn't surprise me actually; you do seem to like to sort things out yourself."

"Your very perceptive Ben, you know that?"

"Thanks I will take that as a compliment."

"Do, it's a good thing to have."

"Well my uncle always used to say it would do me no good."

"I don't agree with that. It's good to figure people out before hand, well that's what I think anyway."

"You have problems with trusting people don't you?"

"Ha-ha yeah I do until I know them."

"Yeah I guessed that I could see that when I first met you. That you were trying to work me out. To see if you could trust me or not. You know it does come across as you don't like anyone." I didn't realise that people could take offense to my guarded behaviour before now.

"Really I didn't realise. Maybe that's why most people don't talk to me?"

"Could be. But I think you like that. You don't like people getting to close to you."

"Wow that's amazing. How do you know that?"

"I don't know I just notice little thing's that you do. I just assumed I proberbly got it wrong but that's how I see it."

"No you're completely right." I am stunned by what Ben has picked up on, even after such a short period of time, maybe he had already picked up on Josh's ability.

"I am intrested what did you think of Josh?"

"Well, I only met Josh last night, and before that I only have what you've said about him. There is something about him though, it might be nothing. well Don't get offended if I have the wrong end of the stick will you?"

"Ok go on?" My attempt to allow Ben to ask about Josh in his own, sweet time has failed miserably. But with Ben's powers of perception, he might know more than he realizes.

"Right were shall I start." His face to the floor, Ben twists his fingers and hands, attempting to think of the right words.

"Ben just tell me. My feelings won't get hurt. I promise."

"Okay… Well before I met him I got the impression that he was a bit of a handful. No, that's not the right word for it. Troubled, yes that's better. I guess with what he has been through who could blame him. I got the impression from you that you are very worried about him and his safety. Like he is going to do something and that you can not control, almost as though, not to sound rude, but almost as though you don't trust him to get things right on his own. And you feel like he needs help in dealing with his life at the minute. Tell me if I'm out of order?"

"No your not carry on."

"Ok well when I met him I was kind of shocked actually. Because what I first thought was completely off the mark. First there's his amazing powers of perception, he seems to know what other people are feeling before they do themselves. He seems very protective of you, like a role reversal of what I first assumed, but I guess that's because he doesn't want to loose you. It's completely normal when you have lost the two people you care about more then anything. I can see he did. He struggles with it I think more than you do. You seem to just get on with it. But for Josh something is holding him back from letting go. Does that make sense?"

"Kind of I guess. It makes sense" He has hit the nail on the head. I know exactly what he means. I can't tell him that he's got everything so right. He wouldn't understand. I seem to just get on with my life because I haven't grieved. And it's worse for Josh because in a way, he's doing it for me. He feels everything that I feel, but he expresses it, whereas I hide it away.

"Ok but all in all Josh seems like a really good guy, heart of gold. I really would like to get to know him better actually."

"Well that's good to hear most people don't give him a chance. They don't understand him, or seem to be able to relate to him like you have" Of course I know why people are scared of getting close to him. They don't understand his rollercoaster of emotions. Or the way he picks up on every detail, and the kid has no tact, so he scares people away.

"Yeah, I imagine people sometimes find him a bit over-bearing? When you're talking to him it's almost as of he can read your mind. It's crazy. But he makes a great friend"

"Well, I'm amazed. You've picked up on so much. Can I ask you a quick question?" Ben nods. "You said earlier that I come across as not wanting to be friend's with anyone. So why did you bother trying to like me?"

"I didn't try to like you. I can work people out. From the moment I meet them. I know if there worth me making the effort to be friend's with. I guess we both have trust issues. We find it hard to let people in."

"Yeah I guess so. I don't have many friends but the ones I do have are very special to me. I do regard you a good friend."

"Well thank you Fraiser that mean's a lot to me. I feel the same way too."

"Yes well you have totally won Josh over. He regard's you as his drinking buddy and I tell you something it took year's for James to get that close to Josh.

You only met him last night."

"Well that means a lot it really does. This is going to sound stupid but I feel like I have a family now."

"No that's not stupid at all."

"Thanks."

Ben looks as though he has something he really needs to say, but daren't. I'm not that scary! So I give him a smile, "Go on say it"

"I don't know if it's my place to?"

"Go on Ben?"

" I am happy that we got to have this chat. I wasn't expecting to for a long time. I am just going to say it. I know there is something different about you and Josh. You seem to have a strange connection, some kind of secret. Don't get me wrong it's a good thing. I don't see it a bad thing but I can tell you are not sure If you should tell me. To be honest I really don't want you to feel that you have to tell me ok?"

"Thanks Ben. You're right we have a past, everyone does. It's just that I like to keep it behind me, and Josh feels like he wants you to know his past before you can be his friend in the future. But obviously, we're closely linked, so don't feel like we're purposefully trying to keep things from you. I want our friendship to be open, but I have a lot of demons in my past. There are things I don't even want to understand, I still haven't dealt with some things myself. So when Josh said that he wanted to give you the life story, I admit I freaked out. That's what you saw this morning, and I'm sorry for that"

"You worry too much about what everyone else thinks of you. I'm not going to pry so don't worry about it mate, but if you need a friend to talk to, I'm always here to listen, okay?"

"Thank you Ben. Right, I'll leave you to get some sleep."

"Sleep! Good idea"

"Thanks for the tea. I believe it was the best I've ever had!"

"Told you."

We're both laughing as he shows me out. Getting in the car and giving Ben a wave as I drive away, I feel relieved. I know that I shouldn't have to tell everyone about my life,_ "Hi, I'm Fraiser, when I was a kid my parents tried to sacrifice me to their gods, my foster brother has strange powers of perception, and my foster parents died in a car accident",_ but I understand that I can come across as unfriendly. At least now Ben knows that I do want to be friends with him, and I definitely don't want to push him away.

Arriving home I brace myself for the millions of questions that Josh is sure to ask. He's sat at the table doing some art work, nothing can distract him from that when he gets going, not even a game of 21 questions!

I collapse on the chair in the front room. I'm so tired it doesn't feel like midday, it feels like about ten 'o' clock in the evening. My hang-over seems to be wearing off, thankfully.

"You seem happier now" Josh says while concentrating on his art work.

"Yeah, me and Ben had a little chat about some things."

"Oh right."

Normally Josh would be much more interested in my conversation with Ben. But when Josh gets an artist image in his head he can spend hours creating a masterpiece, it's like an obsession he has.

"You didn't tell him then?"

"No."

"Didn't think so. I was expecting you to be gone for a while.

"We just had a chat, he thinks there's something a bit strange about our relationship" Josh's head snaps up from his drawing. "Ahh that got your attention."

"Yeah, sorry I felt like I needed to draw something. So what did he say then?" He turns back to his art work and carries on drawing. "I'm listening Frais."

"Sorry I didn't want to put you off your work."

"You won't."

"Well there isn't much to tell really. He thinks that there's something odd about our relationship because of the way we sometimes communicate without saying anything, and we seem to have a lot of secrets. But he said he doesn't want to push anything, if we want to tell him we can, if not, then he doesn't mind. He also said something about your 'amazing powers of perception" Josh raised his eyebrows at me and then started to laugh.

"Right well that's good then. What about you?"

"What about me?" Josh throws a worried glance in my direction. "What was that for?" He had felt the anger. "I don't want to go into it."

"Yeah I can feel that. Frais you are going to have to talk about them one day you can't hide who you are. Where you came from it's a big part of who you are."

Without even thinking about it, I rise to my feet .

"I am nothing like them." I can hear my blood pounding in my ears.

"Fraiser that's not what I meant. The way you are around people. The way you protect me from everyone else. You can't tell me that a normal person would do that. You hide yourself to protect other people, and I am just saying they made you feel like that. So that seems to me that it is a big part of you…" Silence "Frais.. do you ever wonder what those markings mean?"

Without realizing that I'm sitting down again I hear the thump as my body connects with the chair. I don't want to deal with this, I can't even begin to understand what they did to me, or why. How could anyone think that it was okay to mark an innocent child in that way? Why should I want to know what they meant, what they had brandished and cut into me? They made me into a "freak" and now they hope and think that I'm dead, and to me they are dead. Josh is sitting and staring at me, waiting for a response, but he won't get one, if I start I won't stop, and I don't want a repeat of this mornings performance.

After a while Josh breaks the silence.

"Why don't you go to bed you look worn out."

"Yeah"

I don't think I could sleep though, too many thoughts running round my head. I look down at my arms and noticed that I had kept them wrapped up tightly. I'm at home, no need to hide so why do I feel that I have to? Josh glances at my bandages too, he must think something is wrong, because usually as soon as I open the door the bandages come away.

"You not staying here today?" Josh asks. I look at him, confused. He points to my arms. I really can't keep anything from Josh it's frustrating.

"No I am in all day I think, no plans."

"Then what are you hiding for?" I really don't know what to say to that. "Fraiser?" He asks, his voice shaking and panicky.

"WHAT?" I snap back. "Oh… I'm sorry. Maybe I should go get some sleep."

This time Josh says nothing to break the silence, I stare at my arms for a few minutes, and start to unwrap the bandages. I can feel myself falling asleep. When I'm done I look at the markings on my arms, I'm never sure what to make of them. James and Josh both think that they are artistic, and I know that they sometimes talk about what they could mean when they think I'm not listening.

I just feel ashamed of them.

Josh, reading my feelings stands and then sits on the arm of my chair. "You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are." I don't have the strength to have this argument again.

"I am going to try and get some sleep."

I feel bad for Josh he can't turn off his gift. Our argument has shocked us both. But I've realized that I need to be more supportive of him, after all I'm not the only one who has to deal with the past. His parents had died too. And he felt my grief as well as his own.

I lay down on the bed and felt sleep take over.

I opened my eyes and they darted towards the window, its dark outside. I turn onto my side and my heart jumped into my mouth. James is lying next to me, and smiling.

"Your finally awake"

"W…when did you get back?" I try to sound casual, It had been so long since we first met, but I still find myself falling in love again every time I see him. He see's straight through my casual pretense and he smiles gently to himself.

"Couple of hours ago." I can feel myself starting to ease in his presence.

"How long have I been a sleep for?"

"Josh said you've been up here most of the day"

"Really? Blimey."

"We have a lot to talk about when you wake up properly"

"Great."

"Have you cheered up since I spoke to you?"

"Yeah I have had enough of arguing today." I reach out and hold his hands in mine.

"We didn't really have that much of an argument?"

"No, not with you." James sat up and looked at me. "That's not like you Fraiser?"

"Did Josh not tell you? Isn't he here?"

"Yeah he is downstairs. Don't change the subject, what did you fight about?" I sit up on the end of the bed and try not to look at James. I don't want to tell him what an idiot I've been lately, but I can't help looking back into his face.

"I'm not I just thought Josh would have filled you in on what happened."

"I did wonder why he was so quiet. What happened?"

"I got a bit mad with him and shouted at him, we had a huge argument." I get up and stand by the window, I feel ashamed of myself for the things I said to Josh. James tries to get up to comfort me but when he sits up the weight of the plaster cast on his leg makes it difficult.

I sit next to him on the bed, his skin brushing against mine, and sending a shiver down my spine.

"Some hurtful things were said. But we're okay now."

"He looked totally shocked to see me when I came in"

"Yeah I forgot to tell him you were coming home it's been a tough day." I explain about Ben and the conversation we had at his house.

"Wow. I don't think I should go away anymore. You guys can't cope!" I give him a dirty look. "Only joking." James always knows when to stop. He knows my moods, and he knows what makes them worse.

"Right, let me help you up and let's go downstairs" I help James off the bed. "I don't know, you go away for a week and you do this to yourself. Terrible."

We both laugh, I'm was glad the tension had cleared I'm not up for explaining my bad attitude and mood swings.

Downstairs Josh is waiting with a big smile on his face, I feel my body relax. We're going to be okay.

"Hello sleepy head. You must be getting old. You don't seem to be able to cope with the hang-over's any more, and you barely had anything to drink!"

"Yeah, Yeah, very funny." Glad that we had put this morning behind us we both laugh.

Josh has a huge smile on his face, and he's looking intently at James.

"What are looking so happy about?"

"Nothing!"

James looks over at us, very confused.

"Sorry have I missed something?" James says to me.

"Don't look at me. I don't know what he's laughing at, have I done something amusing?" Josh looked at me again and laughed.

"Ok what's the joke?" James doesn't like it when Josh does this. He knows that Josh can't really read him, and he always assumes that we're having a private joke about him.

"It's not Fraiser! It's you I'm picking it up from."

"What? You're picking something up from me?"

"Yeah sure am! It's strange you never let that much out before." James looked shocked.

"Hang on a minute, what do you mean before?" James' eyes are nearly popping out of his head, I am also shocked. I thought Josh never felt anything from James.

"Sometimes I can pick up little snippets of feelings from you. But today you're totally open!" Josh chuckles again. He looks like a young child who has just opened a Christmas present to find the thing he wanted most.

"How strange. I thought I'd be able to feel something, like a probing in my head, like in the films. But there's nothing" James had asked me countless times what it felt like to have Josh feel your emotions, and I'd never been able to answer him. It's good to see them bonding in this way, usually James feels a little bit left out in these moments. He could finally feel like he was a real part of Josh's little secret.

"So are you going to tell me how you broke your leg? Or do I have to ask Josh?" I say to James laughing. Josh keeps looking from James to me and back again, beaming. "What?"

He looked back at James

"You feel really embarrassed, what did you do?"

"Damn it. I don't like this any more can you go back to not knowing what I feel please."

"What did you do James?" I ask, trying not to laugh.

"I don't want to tell you."

"Come on! You cant keep secrets in this house, especially not today!"

"Yeah don't remind me."

Josh suddenly stands up and walks into the kitchen.

"Josh, mate, I didn't upset you did I?" James tries to stand and follow, but again he is forced back down with the weight of the cast, he glances at me, looking worried. Josh walks back in with a packet of marker pens.

"No you fool, I want to make that thing on your leg look cool."

Josh started to attack James's leg with the markers, and we both decided not to ask him again about how he had broken his leg. It's obvious that he's embarrassed about it. And we aren't willing to tell him the ins and outs of our argument today, so why should he have to tell us his embarrassing secrets?


	5. Chapter 5

_CHAPTER 5_

I was looking forward to today. I was meeting Annabel for lunch. I hadn't seen her in ages; we had both been so busy lately.

We just didn't get time to meet up. So I was very excited. I woke up later then I normally did when I was off work. Surprisingly I thought I had enough sleep yesterday. James was already up. I walked down stairs to smell something cooking. it smelt good.

"What are you doing?" I asked James.

"Making you breakfast in bed. But you're not in bed now so that surprise is ruined."

"Ohh sorry." It shocked me James never cooked. Not that he couldn't he just chose not to.

"So what have I done to deserve this?" I asked

"Nothing why am I not allowed to treat you every now and then?"

"Yeah I don't mind. You can treat me like this all the time if you want?"

"You would get bored off it."

"Yeah your proberly right." As ever James knew me to well.

"So what plan's have you got to day Frasier now you're not working?"

"I am meeting Annabel for lunch."

"That's good you haven't seen her for a while have you?"

"No we have left it to long again. Do you want to join us?"

"Would be nice but I was going to go in to work and help out there. Now I am back early. Is she meeting you here?"

"Yeah she is then we are going to come back here so she can wind Josh up."

"Well I am defiantly going to be back for that." James loved it just as much as Josh did he would always join in. It would be more fun now that Josh seemed to be able to read James.

"Were is Josh?" i asked as i looked around for him

"He has gone to college."

"Really?" I said sounding shocked.

"Why. Weren't you expecting him to go in?"

"No especially after what had happened yesterday."

"Yes well I still haven't got the full story on that." James said arms crossed now

"Yeah sorry about that I will give you the quick version." I explained to James that Josh was finding it a bit tough. With college and that he was still grieving and it just got too much for him. James left it at that he could see how much it hurt me.

"Do you want a hand with that."I pointed to what James was trying to do.

"No I can do it." He was hoberling around the kitchen trying his best.

"Come on James let me help you."

"Fine." He hated it when he couldn't do something for himself.

"Sit down I will finish it off."

"No I am not that much of an invalid Frasier." James snapped at me.

"I know you're not so take a seat and I am going to treat you for a change."

"Ok ok." I served up breakfast it was good he was such a good cook. I wished he would cook more often.

"Well it sound's like we will be having a party tonight. So I better get some more alcohol in. Seeing as Josh and co has drunk us nearly dry."

"We have plenty in James but I will grab some more on my way back if you like."

"Do you want to invite Ben?"

"Ben?" It shocked me James didn't know Ben so I wasn't sure why he had said that.

"Yeah you and Josh seem to like this Ben so he must be a good friend if you're letting him in the way you have." This was true and I really wanted James to meet Ben it would be good if they got on. A nice close family that's all I wanted normality.

"I will ring him and see if he is free. "Hay Ben its Frasier you ok?"

"Yeah good thank's what can I do for you?"

"Well I was just ringing to see if you were free tonight? James is back and my friend Annabel is coming over I would really like for you to meet them. Josh will be here to up for another rematch I am sure."

"I would love to but I am working tonight sorry sounds like it would be fun."

"Yeah that's a shame Ben your going to miss a good night. Next time?"

"Defiantly sound's good. I will look forward to meeting James sometime soon."

"Well let me know when you're free and we will meet up yeah?"

"Wicked sound's good ok then I will have a look what I am doing this week at work. I will let you know."

"Ok then talk to you soon bye." I put the phone down.

"Is he up for it?" james asked

"He is working tonight but is up for meeting you he is going to let me know when he is free. We could go out for a drink or something?"

"Yep yep that be good." I finished my breakfast and went to get dressed.

I came downstairs to find James looking for something.

"What are you looking for?"

"My car keys I know they are here somewhere?"

"What do you want them for?"

"To drive to work silly?"

"Correct me if I am wrong but how are you going to drive?"

"What?"

"How are you going to drive? If you can't even walk properly or stand up on your own with out your crutches."

"Erm good point. Have you got the number for a taxi firm?"

"James why don't you let me drive you?"

"No it's going out of your way."

"How do you know that? I haven't even told you were we are going?"

"Fraser like I need to ask were you will be going the same place you always go."

"Ok good point but I will still take you."

"No its ok I will get a taxi." James insisted

"Don't be stupid I am taking you and that is that."

"You know you are rather sexy when you get mad." James said leaning into me know I had missed this contact between us

"I will call work and let them know I am coming in soon."

"Do you want me to take you in now?" i asked

"No it's ok take me when you go."

"Annabel won't be here for a couple of hours that ok?"

"Yeah that's fine no problem. I will tell them I will be a couple of hours."

I spent the next couple of hours just tidying up around James. He couldn't do much so he just sat in the chair annoying me

"You missed a bit." Very funny I thought.

"The queen isn't coming is she?" Ohh he is such a comedian I thought. The door bell rang.

"That will be Annabel on time makes a change. Do you want to get the door? No that's right you can't can you." I said laughing at him.

"Hello sweetheart how are you?"

"Good thank's" I gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

"Come on in. It's so good to see you." We walked into the front room James scared her she wasn't expecting to see him.

"James you fool you scared me. Hang on what have you been up to?" Pointing to his leg?

"It's a fashion accessory very trendy all the kid's are wearing them at the moment." She turned round to look at me a bit confused.

"James think's he is a stand up comedian today."

"Ha-ha very funny James you're on the ball to day. Makes a change? So do I have to come over there and give you a big hug a wet sloppy kiss? Or are you going to get up and come over here?" annabel chuckled

"Ha-ha very funny come here and pucker up." I couldn't stop laughing when Annabel ran over to James and jumped on him.

"Hay I am getting jealous over here."

"Sorry do you want to join in? We could skip lunch?"

"Yes very funny Annabel." She was on the ball today Josh would love that later.

"Ok I am going to behave myself until I see Josh where is he?"

"At college I have got to take James in to work before we go to lunch that ok?"

"What can't you drive lazy?"

"Well that's what I said but Frasier wouldn't let me." james said pouting Annabel couldn't stop laughing now trying to talk but couldn't because she was in fit's of laughter.

"I can't believe you thought you could drive while you have that thing on your leg?"

"Yeah whatever."

"Well maybe it would improve your driving?"

"Yes very funny but I thought you were saving yourself for Josh?"

"Yeah good point but I am on A roll here."

"Right if you two are quite finished. Can we go?" i asked as it was a tag team.

"UM Frasier?" James asked.

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure you're ready to go out?" James asked

"Yeah why? Don't I look ok?"

"You look hot but there is something you haven't put on?" I looked down to make sure I was wearing my jeans.

"Frasier your arm's you fool." Annabel said laughing at me. James looked down trying not to laugh. Annabel didn't care what she said. She had away of saying things that couldn't upset you.

"Yeah I will be back in a minute." I ran upstairs to wrap my arm's up I can't believe I nearly went out with them on show how stupid of me.

I came back from downstairs

"All done."

"I don't know I prefer you with out the bandages on." James said.

"Tough there on now." I laughed. Well this made a change making fun out me and it not bothering me.

"Right I am ready now." We helped James into the car. Annabel had given him a new nick name hop along. I drove him up to the college and dropped him off and told him to ring me when he was ready to be picked up. He said he would get the bus home with Josh.

"So were to then madam?"

"I think we should go were we always go. What do you think?"

"Sound's good to me." We liked it there. Annabel loved it because she fancied the bar man she would always flirt with him. He seemed interested in her to but she never dated anyone any more. She was to busy with her work. She worked so hard to get to were she she never found time to date. I guess she was so stuck in her ways that when she did it would always end the same getting fed up her never being there and not sharing her feeling's with them. She had got hurt so many time's before that she just couldn't open up anymore to anyone. it was a shame she had a lot to give. If only they would stick around long enough to understand her. She was beautiful. She had Brown eyes and long blond hair. She was tall as well she had long skinny legs that most women would die for. We arrived at the pub and walked in.

"Right what do you want to drink?"

"I will have a large glass of rose please." We went to sit down at a table the bar man that Annabel liked wasn't in today.

"Shame I haven't seen any hotness for a while."

"Excuse me what about me?"

"Oh yeah well your an exception." She laughed. We spent the next couple of hour's catching up it was fun.

"Right are you hungry?" i asked as every thing was said and updated

"Yeah I am now"

"What do you fancy?"

"I don't know I need to have a look at what they have got." i dont know why she had to she knew the menu off by heart It wasn't busy now the lunch rush had been and gone.

"I think you have an admirer Frasier?"

"What?"

"She has been watching you for along time" I was about to turn around to look.

"No don't turn round she will see you."

"Ohh she shame?" Annabel let out a big laugh that made everyone look. I was about to order are food when someone was standing behind me.

"Hello Frasier." I turned round to see who it was. It was Dr Sarah Alex to my surprise.

"Hello Dr Alex." I said a bit disappointed that it was her.

"Well are you going to introduce me to your date?" She asked in sarcastic tone.

"Yes this is my good friend Annabel."

"Nice to meet you Annabel." She said, fake as usual. She was giving Annabel the once over. Well I could tell she was jealous by the look on her face, a mixture of hatred and envy. Annabel stood up quickly and gracefully to shake her hand. Her long hair falling gently over her shoulder. Dr Alex's face fell when she stood up she was shocked that she was so tall and elegant I guessed.

"So are you here with your husband?" I turned round to see to say hello.

"No" She snapped back, eager to draw my attention from her companion. I recognised the bloke she was with but I couldn't think of where I had seen him before.

"Well I better get back to my ...friend now nice to meet you Annabel. Frasier." She was gone.

"Well she seem's nice."

"Yeah well she isn't. She is a complete cow."

"Really?"

"She is the one who I was telling you about."

"Really wow she seemed so nice are you sure you have just got her wrong?"

"No I don't trust her one little bit."

"Ok if you say so." Annabel could tell it was a touchy subject and left it to that. I went to order the food when I came back Annabel was watching something.

"What you looking at?"

"Your friend is having an argument with her friend?"

"She isn't my friend Annabel. I just have to work with her."

This guy stormed out but before he walked out the door he stopped and glared at me. Then he left.

"Well that was strange?" i said as he just did that

"What?" Annabel asked excited

"Dr Alex friend just stood by the door staring at me?"

"Do you know him?"

"No I don't think so but I can't be sure he reminds me of someone. I can't think who?"

"Strange very strange." I went to get some more drinks when I came back Dr Alex was sitting at are table. Great I thought.

"Dr Alex."

"I do have a first name Frasier we are not at work now." She tried to sound offended, but I could tell it was for Annabel's benefit. She made me feel bad now, I didn't want Annabel to think me rude.

"Sorry I am just not use to Talking to you outside of work." Thinking to myself I don't like you inside work, why would I talk to you now. Myself and Dr Alex glared at each other, a look of fake affection on her face.

"Ohh hay nice tattoo." Annabel said, I was glad for the distraction.

"I didn't realise you had A tattoo Sarah?" Dr Alex's face dropped, she soon recovered her fake pose but she pulled her jacket over her arm very quickly, too quickly. I looked at Annabel with a worried glance she returned the same look.

"I better go." She said as she stood up.

"Is your friend ok?" I asked, partly to be polite, partly out of curiosity.

"Yes fine he had an emergency call he had to leave."

"Right I see. Does he work at the hospital?"

"No he doesn't." dr alex snapped back

"Ohh I recognised Him from somewhere."

"He has that face that people think they know him but they don't." She said a bit harshly.

"Ok then. Yes maybe that's what it was?"

"I better go lot's of thing's to do it's alright for those who get time of work." A dig at me no doubt. I placed my arms down by my side they started to burn. Annabel could tell by the rage on my face and kicked me.

"Yes it's nice to be able to stop and enjoy the free time. I must thank the board for being so great." She didn't like that one bit.

"Good bye Dr O'Neil." Then she left.

"You ok?" Annabel asked.

"Yeah I will be in a minute just need to cool down."

"Ok maybe you were right super bitch." That made me laugh. It helped a lot. We had are food and decided it would be a good idea if we went back to mine. We were arguing about who was going to pay. Then Annabel phone rang. She looked down to it and sighed.

"It's my agent I better get this." I went up to pay the bill Annabel wouldn't like it but it was tough I got there first. I walked back to our table Annabel was shouting at her agent down the phone. Every one was looking so I pulled her arm to say lets get out of here before they kick us out for upsetting the diners. As I walked towards the door I waved goodbye to the barman and gave him an apologetic smile. Annabel was still on the phone shouting louder now she seemed very angry. We got in the car and I drove home. Annabel was still on the phone but she had calmed down a little now. We got back to mine about Ten minutes later. Annabel made an excuse saying she had to go.

"I am so sorry Frasier how much do I owe you for lunch?"

"Nothing my treat."

"No let me pay my half at least."

"No."

"Frasier."

"What it's my treat you can pay next time."

"Yeah and you know that wont happen so let me pay my half." I just laughed at her she was right I never let her pay for anything ever.

"So what's up with your agent?"

"He is a twat. He has double booked me for next week. I told him I am going to start to cool down on the work front. I need me time I have been working so hard lately if I don't stop I am going to make myself ill. So I am taking it easy I don't need all the extra work. I have got a good client list so I don't want them to feel that they can't book me because I have too much on."

"Well I totally agree with that you do work to hard."

"Yeah there is more as well."

"Gossip? Tell me."

"Ha-ha yeah I thought you might like this. Right are you ready?"

"Ohh is this going to be a long one let's go in." We walked in to the house and went to sit outside in the back garden.

"Ok hit me with it?"

"Right ok then well me and some work colleges went out after work it had been a long day. We went to the local pub for a few drinks and this hot guy was checking me out. Anyway it was my round so I went to the bar and I got the drinks. When I went to pay the bar man told me that they had been paid for by the gentlemen across the room. I gave him a wink and I went back to the girls and told them about the hot guy. later on I went to the toilet when I came back he was sitting with my friends. So anyway we spent the rest of the night chatting. Before long the pub was kicking every one out for closing girls wanted to go in to town for more drinks. But I had a shoot in the morning so I had to have an early night. So we arranged to meet up later on that week."

"You on a date?"

"Yes I know and what a bad mistake that was."

"Hunny not all blokes are like that."

"Yeah the good ones are all gay." I had to laugh at that.

"Anyway we went out for a meal. It was really nice he was very charming. I actually thought that I had found someone that was worth getting to know. So a couple of weeks past and we were texting each other. He tells me he has a job interview. The the next thing I know he is working at the agency I am with. And that didn't bother me I thought it was good. Because I thought he would understand how busy I work and would be patient. Well I was wrong on that he got really funny that he would be dating one of his clients. He went off me. I could understand that kind off.

So I thought maybe we could be friends. But ohh no he went in to twat mode. He is always messing around with my client list. Double booking me and making me look bad. So I am trying to get another agent from the agency I am with. I don't want to leave them but if it carry's on I think I will have to look out for another company. But that means losing my client list and I worked so hard to get them it would seem like a waste."

"Wow you really know how to pick them don't you."

"Yeah tell me about it I am going to be one of those old ladies who have lots of cats." She laughed.

"Ohh Annabel you won't be. You are far too good looking for one of those old ladies. I am sure there is some one out there for you.

Maybe you just need to kiss a few frogs before you meet your prince charming."

"Ha-ha ok well I will keep my hopes up then yeah."

"Defiantly." It was a good afternoon we decided wine was needed.

I walked into the house to find james and josh in now. "Hello you two did you have a good day?"

"Yeah same old." Josh said.

"James you ok?"

"Yeah great fantastic." He said in a sarcastic voice.

"What's up?" i ask concerneed

"Nothing don't worry about it." I looked at Josh.

"Don't look at me. I can't read him any more." Josh sounded a bit disapointed

"James what's going on?" I demanded.

"I went in to work to help out and what for? Just to get a load of crap of a stupid no hope useless teacher. Who is so stuck in his old ways that he doesn't want to change. To be honest I don't think he could if he even tried. He is well over due for retiment but he won't take it. The school won't push him either because he has been with them for so long. It just makes me mad. So it's nothing."

Annabel walked into the kitchen now.

"Were's that wine Frasier you making it? Josh your back about time." She ran over to him and jumped on him and she covered him in kisses.

"Ok someone get the crazy person off me please?" Josh said laughing. Annabel jumped down from Josh.

"Hay I am not the crazy one round here."

"Yeah good point lock me up." Josh held his hands out to be handcuff.

"Darling not now we have guest." Annabel replyed. Ohh no here we go I thought.

"So are you staying for a few drinks tonight?" Josh asked.

"Um yeah can do I haven't got any plans."

"Frasier why didn't you ask her earlier?"

"I forgot sorry."

"Can't get the staff." Josh said.

"Yes very funny."

"Right so what are we doing for food I am starving."

"James you are always hungry. I was thinking bbq seen as it is nice outside."

"Yeah good one Fraser." James said rubbing his belly.

My phone rang it was Ben.

"Hay Ben you ok?"

"Yeah good thanks I am calling just to see if you're still having your party tonight?"

"Yes we are. We are going to have a bbq. Why?"

"I am off now I had to cover a shift for Dr Alex so she is doing mine tonight now."

"Great are you going to come over?"

"Yeah if I am still invited?"

"Of course you are. You are always welcome here Ben."

"Thank's Frasier. Is it possible if I bring a date?"

"Yeah if you want to. Do I need to ask who it will be or shall I guess?"

"Yes very funny. Are you sure that is ok? I haven't asked her yet?"

"Yes Nurse pool is very welcome."

"How did you guess?"

"Well it's not rocket science is it?"

"Good point. What time do you want us over?"

"Anytime you want we won't start with out you.

"Ok say a couple of hours?"

"Sound's good."

"Great see you in a while then."

"Yes see you in a bit Ben. Bye."

For the next hour the others were deciding what to get for the bbq. Josh came over to where I was sitting.

"Frais what's up?"

"It's nothing Josh nothing for you to worry about." I really didn't know what it was, I just couldn't put my finger on it.

"Is that why you're blocking what you're feeling about. He looked down now.

"Josh I am sorry I didn't realise I was doing that." Josh didn't like it when he couldn't feel what I was feeling it worried him.

"So what do you not want me to know?"

"I honestly don't know Josh" I tried to sound sincere, but even I could tell there was an uneasy edge to my voice.

"Ok" Josh jumped up and went back inside to the others. It took me by surprise that he took that quite well. No interrogation. Maybe he knew something I didn't? For now at least I'd have to let my mind work things out for itself.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

I walked back in to the kitchen were every one was sitting at the table doing a shopping list. James tried to stand up Annabel looked over to him.

"James do you want a hand?" She said laughing making a joke out of his injury. Josh found it funny to.

"Frasier what's wrong?"Anabell asked with a worried expression on her face. Josh looked down to his feet. James looked at me then back to Josh.

"What's going on?" he said with a scared tone in his voice not understanding what was going on. I sat myself at the table to show them that I was ok.

"Josh will you tell me what's going on?" Josh looked at me for a while then back to James.

"I am not picking any thing up from him." Josh said a little bit strained as he lied.

"Are you sure Josh he doesn't look right?"

"Excuse me I am here you know." I said a bit annoyed.

"Well if you wont tell me what's wrong then there is no point asking you is there?" James looked angry now.

"James he is ok really trust me." Josh said trying to calm him down.

"Ok I believe you. Sorry Frasier I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's ok I know you are only looking out for me and I love you for it."

"Ohh my. Pass me the sick bag." Annabel said sticking her finger's down her throat. it lightened the mood a little Josh couldn't stop laughing at Annabel he truley loved her.

"So have you decided what we are eating then?"

"Yeah we sure have me and Annabel are going to go to the supermarket to stock up on drink and food."

"Yeah we defiantly need to stock up on the alcohol Ben is coming over now."

"Is he really?" Josh said excited by what I had just said.

"Great I will finally get to meet this Ben then?" James said feeling a bit threatened by Ben. There was no need for him to be like that James was the only one for me.

"I think he is bringing his girlfriend to be here to."

"What? Girlfriend to be? i dont understand" Annabel said a bit confused.

"Yeah it's a long story Ben has liked her for a very long time and she is only just showing her feeling's for him. But she is either in a complicated relationship or has just come out of it I am not sure which it is."

"Ahh poor Ben well I can't wait to meet him. Maybe I can help him with some relationship advice me being a woman and all that."

Josh and James burst out laughing.

"What?" Annabel said looking innocent

"Annabel you give out advice? You need to find a man before you do that." Josh said still laughing and wishing it was him i bet.

"Right Annabel you ready to go?"

"One condition you let me drive your car James?"

"Ohh do you have to I love that car. I don't want you to burn it out." James said with a huge grin on his face he looked like his brother Johnny when he playing around like this.

"Hay I am a good driver thank you very much." Annabell seemed shocked at this

"Yeah ok if you say so." James said sarcastically.

"Well you can't exactly drive in you condition can you."

"Yeah you got me there. Why can't we go in your car Annabel?"

"Because I can't go fast in mine." Josh gave Annabel a worried glare.

"Josh don't panic we will be ok I wont go crazy promise." she said holding her hands up

"Yeah make sure you don't." He said concerned he wasnt joking around anymore I got up and went over to Josh and gave him a hug

"They will be fine Josh don't worry yourself."

"it's hard I hate it every time you go out in the car I can never relax till your back."

"Josh I will be careful ok." Annabel said in a reassuring voice all her playfull ness gone to. I helped James up from the table. Bless him he still hadn't got to grip with the crutches and how to use them properly.

"Right you party people we will see you soon." Annabel said before leaving.

Josh went up stairs looking for his camera he decided it would be a good night and that he needed to take some pictures.

He was doing some kind of art work which involved his life and he decided pictures would be really good. He was very excited by it. About 10 minutes had passed and there was a knock at the door. It must be Ben the others wouldn't be back for a while.

I opened the door

"Hay Ben come in." Suddnly loud screaming came from upstairs.

I turned round to look up at the stairs leaving Ben in the door way I ran up them. Time felt like it was going backwards. All I could here was Josh screaming in pain. I was aware Ben had followed me and was right behind me. He was concerned to what was wrong with Josh. I made my way to bedroom.

"Josh what's wrong? What's happened?" He was on the floor curled up in a ball still screaming in pain.

I bent down to him to try and help him. Ben stood by the bedroom door.

"Josh talk to me what wrong?" there was panic in my tone Josh semmed to calm down he lifted his head tears in his eyes.

"It's ok I am fine the pain is easing now."

"Josh what did you do?" I asked again relif hit me that I could see he was ok

"Josh looked over to Ben then looked back to me then he said it very quietly so Ben wouldn't hear him. "It's Ben It's his pain his ribs are really painful."

I looked over to Ben he was leaning in the door way I could see the pain in his face as he walked over to us. I looked back to Josh.

"Will you be ok?"

"Yeah I think so I wasn't expecting it." Ben was close enough to hear us now so I changed the subject.

"Josh you ok?" Ben asked concerned for him."

"Yeah I am ok now." Josh said in a strained voice.

"Do you think you need to go to hospital you sounded like you were in a lot of pain?"

"No hospital no." Josh started to panic at what Ben had said. "Frasier please I don't need to go to hospital I am fine really please don't take me there please. Josh was begging it pained me to see this.

"OK ok calm down Josh we won't go if you don't want to ok you need to stay calm ok?" I said trying to calm him down.

"Josh can you tell me were it hurts?" Ben asked this was unfamilar to me he was acting like a doctor and not a friend I know he is concerned for Josh but his tone shocked me.

"It's my back I just pulled it I think."

"Are you sure nothing else hurts?"

"No Just my back."

"Do you think you can move?"

"Yeah I think so."

"Ok be careful ok. It sounds like your back has gone into spasm. You need to be very careful ok. Frasier will you help him stand up straight." I was so glad Ben had taken control I was a wreck I know now why you cant treat family members its so much more harder then a normal patient. I was so worried about Josh I had never heard him in so much pain before. And poor Ben what had happened to him for him to be in that much pain? I couldn't ask him about it not until he said anything to me about it. As Ben stood back up Josh winced with pain I was supporting him as he was trying to stand up slowly.

"Take it easy Josh if you feel like it is going to go again stop and tell us ok?"

"Yeah ok I will." Josh stood up straight now.

"How does that feel Josh?" Ben asked.

"Yeah that feel's loads better thanks."

"Good very good." Ben eased now he went back to himself not the doctor in him.

"Does this happen often?"

"No not this bad." Josh lied he was rubbish at lying but seeing as he was in pain I think Ben fooled for it.

"Ok best thing to do is just to take painkillers that way your body can heal it self. If your in pain you will tense and you don't want to tense up that's why your back goes into spasm.

"Wow you learn something every day. Did you learn that at university?"

"Some of it. You do the basic medical stuff but with the field we work in it's more psyceatric care like how to calm people down and well you proberly no the rest seeing as Frasier has done it as well."

"Yeah but Frasier never speaks about his university days and what he was learning." they seemed to forget i was here

"Ohh why not?" Ben asked me.

"I don't know I didn't think you wanted to Know Josh?"

"So do you have back problem's then Ben?" Josh asked trying to maybe tell us why he was in so much pain.

"No. My uncle had a really bad back. It would go into spasm like every week he had to have crutches with him the whole time just in case.

But that was his fault because he wouldn't let his muscles relax. But you must be doing something right if it doesn't happen often." We walked Josh down stairs and helped him to sit down on the sofa. I could tell that It was hurting Ben more then it was hurting Josh.

It was only when Josh wasn't expecting it that it hurt him.

"Frasier I think you need to get the brandy out?" Josh asked.

"I don't think that's a good idea if you're taking painkillers?" I said sounding unsure

"It's not for me it's for Ben. Josh laughed.

Yeah you like you need one Ben."

"Ha-ha yes very funny well I wasn't expecting to have to work tonight." There was a bit of an atmosphere in the front room now we were all very quite. James and Annabel walked in.

"Ohh Hay you must be Ben I am Annabel she walked over to shake his hand." He was a bit hesitant about moving but tried his hardest.

"Hi it's very nice to meet you." Ben said trying to block the pain away I bet.

"Hello I am James Frasier's partner." James said in a jealous tone.

"James he knows who you are there is no need to be like that."

"Be like what I was just introducing myself."

"It's ok really it's good to meet you to. Nice to put a name to the face." James patted Ben on the back.

"You see Ben wasn't offended." Ben stiffened his whole body and winced in pain as he tried to move.

"Excuse me can I use the bathroom." Ben said in a strained voice.

"Yeah you know were it is Ben." Poor Ben he really was in pain why was he hidding it from us. Ben walked off very slowly trying not to move too much. Josh looked at me and waited until Ben was out of the room.

"You see what I mean he is in so much pain."

"Yeah I can see that."

"What's going on?" James asked confused.

"Yeah your friend seems a little weird is he ok?" Annabell said not understanding

"I don't know something's happened to him Josh can feel it. Ben hasn't said anything about it. Annabel was about to say something but.

Ben walked back into the room every one looked confused at what was going on with Ben. Annabel jumped in to break the silence.

"Who want's to help me with the shopping then?"

"I will help you Annabel." Josh said ready to jump up of the sofa.

"No Josh." I snapped "Your back rember."

"Ohh yeah good point."

"What's wrong with your back Josh?" Annabel asked concerned.

"Ben said he think's it's gone into spasm."

"Ohh I didn't know you had back problems?" Annabell asked concerned for Josh

"I will help you Annabel." I said trying to change the subject. We walked outside to the car to get the shopping.

"Since when has Josh had back problems?" she intergates me

"He doesn't Josh could feel Ben's pain and was screaming so much. I have never heard him in that much pain before he really scared me.

So Josh said it was his back that was hurting him to Ben."

"Right ok so he doesn't know about Josh then? Or you for that matter you still have your bandages on?"

"No He doesnt." I said maybe a little off hand

"Wow surprised Josh didn't tell him Josh seems to like Ben."

"Yeah he is a very good guy. But he has had such a hard start to his life. I think he still trying to deal with it. So I don't want to add to his problems just yet."

"I think he need's to know Frasier you can't keep lying to him?"

"We are not lying to him Annabel he doesn't want to know?"

"Hang on I am confused?"

"Ok let me explain it a bit better to you. Rember I told you about the big argument me and Josh had? Well Ben was there when it happened. So he knows there is something strange about Josh he just doesn't know what. He said that he would rather Josh tell him when he felt ready to. But Josh isn't sure. Josh was ready to tell him the day after but Ben shut down all his emotions. It really freak Josh out."

"Ok I understand why Josh wont tell him But what about you?"

"I told him that I had a complicated past and that I didn't want to involve him in it."

"Frasier that's part of who you are." Annabel wasn't happy with what I was saying.

"That's what Josh said to." I bowed my head down and leaned on James car.

"Look Frasier I didn't mean to upset you but he need's to know about you. I know you're only protecting him so maybe you just need to be strong show him. If he can deal with it then maybe explain it to him if not well then I can't see any harm done. Because he won't know he will just see your scars and not understand them. It must be really hard to keep up this pretence with him? He doesn't know the real you and he need's to know that if he is going to be your friend." She was right it was selfish of me not to include Ben in this he was my friend after all.

"Tell him Frasier maybe not tonight but he need's to know soon." As she said that Ben walked out towards us.

"Your ear's must be burning we were just talking about you." Annabel said laughing.

"Good thing's I hope?" Ben replied. Annabel gave him the once over Josh has come out to join us to.

"Annabel" Josh shouted in mock horror. Annabel turned to look at Josh.

"What?"

"Stop flirting with our guest is no man safe anymore." Josh was in fits of laughter. Poor Ben didn't know were to look He had a big smile on his face so I guessed that he must of liked that. Well of course he did Annabel was well she was amazing any bloke would be happy to be looked at by her.

"Josh your just jealous because I turned you down." Annabel said sarcastically.

"Ohh my some one is on form tonight." Josh said teasingly.

"Right" Annabel said and started to run after Josh. Josh legged it into the house.

"Josh your back be careful" I shouted out to keep up the pretence.

"He will be ok the painkiller's will help him any way he will stop if it hurts him again." I felt bad that we were lying to Ben. Annabel was right he needed to know. But when would the right time be? I would need to talk to Josh about it I think.

"I think we better get this food in. James said he was getting hungry." Ben said to bring me back from my train of thought.

"Ohh no we don't want that James can be a pain when is hungry. I said laughing.

"James seems really nice."

"Well I am surprised you think so he was really rude to you?"

"That's ok he is just protective I guess."

"Yeah but there was no need for it."

"I love his cast did he do the art work on it?"

"No that was Josh who did that."

"Well he has a good talent there."

"Maybe he will show you his other stuff later?"

"Yeah that would be great I love art."

"Can you draw?" I asked Ben it was nice to be carefree with Ben and not watch what i had to say or try and hide what I feel

"Ha-ha no stick men that's about it. I lifted out some shopping.

"I will bring the rest in it's not a problem." I said not wanting to cause Ben any more pain.

"It's ok I don't mind helping."

"I handed him the light bags.

"There you go be careful don't want you to cause you any more pain." I turned round really quickly hoping he didn't catch that last bit.

Ok maybe not so good being carefree. Ben looked really confused as I turned round with more bags we started to walk towards the house.

"I think they have gone over the top a bit?" I said trying to detract Ben's thoughts. He laughed then stopped.

"You ok" I said concerned.

"Yeah. What did you mean about me being in pain?"

"Ohh um I thought that you might have back problems as well. Seeing as your uncle did?" James hobbled out side now.

"Come on you two I am starving here."We both looked at each other and laughed we carried on walking now.

Opps I hope he bought that. As we walked into the house Josh rushed over to help.

"Ben let me take those from you."

"Its ok I got it."

"Are you sure?" Josh asks trying to help but not helping the situation

"Yes Josh your the one who has to be careful." I say abrubt

"Yeah yeah ok." I put my bags down and took the bags off Ben. He didn't seem to be into much pain. I wondered if he had taken some pain killers. I put every thing away. Got every one a drink and started to light the bbq.

Josh was sorting out the rolls. Ben Annabel and James were talking in the kitchen. Winding Josh up well mainly Annabel winding Josh up. Josh came out to me with the rolls. We were on are own so now was the time to talk to Josh. It would proberly be the only time I could talk to him tonight.

"So how's Ben feeling?"

"Yeah I think he has taken something for the pain. I can still feel it a little but not as bad as it was."

"What do you think has happened?" I asked Josh maybe he picked something else up.

"I am not sure there is something but I couldn't tell you what it is. I would need to talk to him about it but I can't can I."

"No that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I think he need's to know about us?"

"Yeah it's not fair to keep lying to him is it?" Josh was agreeing with me which was handy

"When though?" I just didnt know how and the best way

"It's tough but I think the sooner the better. Then maybe I can help him out a little bit?" Josh was right.

"Tonight?" I asked Josh.

I didn't realise Ben had come out side now.

"What's happening tonight?" Ben asked I looked at Josh as to say now? He shook his head.

"It's nothing Ben. Ohh Josh Ben wanted to see some of your art work." I said trying to change the subject.

"It's not that great but if you want to I can show you?" Josh said a bit embarrassed.

"Well if it's anything like what you did on James cast it really is amazing?" Ben said enthusiastically.

"What that was rubbish what I did on that."

"Josh I thought it was really good? Do you mind if I have a look at some of it then?"

"Yeah if you want to."

"Great." Josh and Ben walked towards the house.

James hobbled out to me now.

"Hay how we looking?"

"Yeah nearly ready to start putting things on."

"Cool I am starving."

"James you are always hungry." I laughed.

"So where have Ben and Josh gone?"

"Josh is showing him his art work."

"Right Josh seems to like Ben doesn't he?" James asked curious.

"Yeah he does. You know Ben is a really nice guy you should take the time to get to know him."

"Ok calm down I was only saying." James said annoyed.

"James do you not like him?" I was curious to why James seemed to be giving Ben a hard time.

"Its not that I don't like him it's just I don't think you two should get to close." James stopped what he was saying.

"Why?" I asked confused to why he had said that.

"Well you have to be careful who you chose as friends. I am scared that when you tell Ben about your past. And If Josh tells him about what he can do. What if he can't handle it then you have lost a friend that's all." I knew James was only looking out for me but it really annoyed me we were both silent then Josh Ben and Annabel came out into the garden. Josh could feel the tension.

"Every thing ok?" Josh asked. Annabel looked at Josh then back to me and James Ben looked very confused he wasn't in the loop.

"Yeah all is good Josh." Josh looked at my arms and just stared at them he could feel them burning slightly. He rubbed his arm to say ouch. Annabel smacked Josh to say stop it. She could see the anger in James face. James looked at me and said "sorry" then hobbled off back into the house.

"James it's not your fault." I shouted after him. Josh bowed his head Annabel kind off guessed what was going on but poor Ben was looking totally confused. Josh looked over to Ben suddenly. Me and Annabel looked over to Ben then back to Josh.

Ok that wasn't a good idea.

"Does any one want another drink?" Annabel asked.

"Yeah sounds good." I said trying to break the tension.

"Ok will you give me a hand please Ben?" Ben was hesitant but left with her.

"What it is it Josh?" I asked concerned

"He need's to know Frasier. He is feeling really annoyed. I think it's because we are all on edge and being careful about what we are saying in front of him."

"Yeah I know Josh why does it have to be so hard."

"What's up with James?" Josh asked not understanding why I was feeling annoyed.

"James thinks that we shouldn't get to close to Ben because he thinks that it will be a waste of time. Because he thinks that when we tell him we will get hurt he doesn't think Ben can accept it."

"And that made you annoyed?"

"Yeah I know it stupid but I don't want it to be true Ben is a really good friend now."

"I know it's going to be hard isn't it." Ben and Annabel came back now.

"I love Ben you guys he is a real gentlemen." Annabel said embarrassing Ben as she said it.

"Ohh Ben you better watch out Annabel likes the nice guys." Josh laughed at Annabel who was ready to punch him.

"Yeah but being nice doesn't get you any were in my experience. Ben said angry.

"Jenny playing hard to get then Ben?" I asked him seeing if he would give anything away.

"I don't understand her she said she wasn't with this guy anymore but when I phoned her he was there. I don't understand it. I went round to her's to talk to her to try and make her realise it is a bad mistake to get back with him. When I got there he had gone but he did some damage."

Ben stopped what he was saying at that point. He was angry. He looked down to his feet. Josh turned round to walk away so he wasn't showing the anger Ben was feeling. Annabel grabbed Josh's arm. She pulled him towards her and gave Josh a hug. Ben looked up now to see why we were all being quite.

"Josh you look like you're in pain are you ok? Is your back hurting you again?" Ben asked concerned.

"Yeah um it is a little bit no big deal." Josh hated lying but he was getting good at it now. Even I was convinced that he had a bad back.

"Maybe you should go and sit down for a bit give yourself a rest?" Ben wasn't asking Josh he was telling him.

"Is that doctor's order's Ben?" Josh said teasingly.

"Yes it is." Ben laughed and Josh went to sit down at the table we had in the garden.

"Annabel will you go and sit with Josh just make sure he is ok?" I asked I was a bit worried about Josh.

"Yeah sure no problem. Annabel rubbed my arm and walked off towards Josh.

"Josh will be ok he just needs to take it easy that's all." Ben said trying to comfort me.

I gave Ben a smile.

James had decided to come back out now he must have calmed down. He came over to us and he put his arm round me to say sorry.

I kissed the top of his head to let him know I wasn't angry with him.

"What's up with Josh?" James asked.

"His back is hurting him a little bit." James looked confused and then it must have clicked.

"Ohh right I will go see if he is ok." James hobbled over to Josh and Annabel walked over to us. As James was there to comfort Josh.

I think Annabel really likes Ben she was always around him trying to get to know him a little better.

"Right I am going to get some food for the bbq." I left Annabel and Ben chatting away. As I walked away I heard a crack like a bone breaking. As I turned round Josh started to scream in pain. Ben was falling to the ground Annabel tried to catch him as he fell into a ball on the floor. I froze I didn't know who to go to first. James was holding Josh tight so I ran over to Ben.

"Ben are you ok?" I asked panicked.

"Yeah I will be in a minute." he said strained.

"Don't worry about me go see if Josh is ok? His back must have gone again."

"Josh is fine Ben it's not his back I can't lie to you any more you need to know the truth." Annabel looked at me concerned.

"Frasier I don't think now is a good time do you?"

"I didn't mean right at this minute. Let's get you sorted out Ben. So what have you done to your ribs Ben?"

"My Ribs?" He asked confused.

"Yeah that's were it hurt's doesn't it?"

"Yeah but how do you know that?"

"Don't worry about that for now I will explain about that later to you ok. Now let me take a look."

"James will you take Josh inside please". I shouted. The further away he was from Ben the less it would hurt him. I pulled of Ben's top to find his body covered in bruises black and blue all over. Annabel gasped she couldn't believe her eyes.

"Ben what happened to you?"

"Jenny's beloved boyfriend. I went over to warn him to leave Jenny alone. He gave her a black eye. What else was I suppose to do. Walk away and ignore it?"

"No I guess not. Is Jenny ok?" I asked concerned about her to now.

"Yeah just shaken up. Ben said trying not to show how much pain he was in, his eyes were filling with tears but he was fighting them well We could tell how much pain he was in as Josh couldn't stop screaming.

"You are Jenny's night in shinning armour by the sounds of it Ben?"Annael said comforting him.

"Yeah I wish she would just see that. What's wrong with Josh if it's not his back?" Ben asked concerned for him.

"Ben lets take care of you first Josh will be ok in a minute."

"Yeah but he sounds like he is so much pain?"

"Ben can you just stop thinking of everyone else for a minute and take some time out for you."

"Annabel can you get me some bandages please."She ran into the house to get what I asked for.

"Right Ben I think you are going to have to get an x-ray. I can't feel anything abnormal but it might be fractured."

"I don't think they are broken I will be ok Frasier."

"Ben why won't you let me help you?"

"Because I can look after myself I have had to most of my life."

"You don't have to hold this burden all by yourself Ben maybe if you open up a little maybe we can help?" He looked confused now. He didn't understand what I was saying?

"I don't understand Frasier? Help me open up? I don't get it?"

"Sorry I am talking in riddles I don't know how to explain this to you?" I looked towards the house Josh was standing in the door way.

He started to walk over to us he must of got use to the pain.

"Josh you ok now?" I said.

"Yeah use to the pain now." Annabel came running back now. I wrapped Ben up nice and tight. If he did have broken ribs at least that would keep them were they were meant to be. We helped Ben up he took some pain killers and we sat him down at the table in the garden.

All of us were sitting to at the table now.

"So Ben we have some explaining to do. Josh I don't know how to do this how to say it."

"Do you want me to explain it to Ben?" Josh asked.

"Ok Ben rember I told you me and Josh had a past well Josh is going to tell you his ok. Do you think you could have an open mind about all this? I really don't want it to affect are friendship Ben. Me and Josh regard you as a very good friend ok so we feel we can trust you enough to let you know What Josh can do."

"Ok you're totally confused me now I know there is something you hide from me but to think that it could affect are friendship?"

"Like I said keep an open mind Ben because it isn't something that people do. Annabel put her arm round Josh to comfort him I didn't mean to make Josh feel like a freak but I had to try and make Ben realise that what we were about to tell him was something very different to what he was expecting.

"Ok Josh I think you should take it from here." Josh nodded he was just staring at his hand deciding were to begin.

"Ben I can read some people very well."

"Ok that doesn't sound too bad?"

"Yeah that didn't come out right erm Ben I can feel your emotion."

"Sorry what I don't understand?"

"I can feel when you are happy when you are sad if you're in pain. That's how I knew about your ribs." Ben went very white. As it sunk in what Josh was saying to him.

"You can feel my emotions? So when I came over you could feel my pain?"

"Yeah it took me by surprise that's why I screamed usually I can control it if some one is in pain."

"Is this some sort of joke?" Ben asked.

"No it's very much true. It is hard to believe but it's true" Annabel said to Ben.

"Hang on can I have a minute I just need to digest this." I looked at Josh he looked confused.

"Ben how do you do that it freaks me out! You did it last time you were here?"

"Josh be patient we just gave Ben some unexpecting news give him a minute." I said I didn't want to push Ben to much.

"What freaked you out?" Ben asked

"You switch your emotion off then back on again?"

"Can you read every one?" Ben asked trying to work it all out.

"No not everyone I normally have to know them before I can read them. Some people are very open like Annabel. I can't read James. But he does open up sometimes. Now you are very open but there are times when you shut down you feel nothing it freaks me out because if you're open I can always read you."

"Right you said that you can't read James why?"

"James and other people like him just have a guard up its just natural."

"Ok so why do I freak you out if I put my guard up isn't that natural?"

"No if you are open you don't have a guard so that's why it confuses me when you shut of like you do."

"Yeah but you said that James let's his guard down sometimes isn't that the same thing?"

"No because you don't have a guard so I don't understand why you shut of the way you do.

"Mmm ok strange?" Ben said he seemed ok with it but I wasn't sure.

"So Ben are you ok with this?"

"Um Yeah I think so I just need time to adjust to what you have told me. I thought you were going to tell me something really bad?"

"So you don't think this is bad?" I asked concerned.

"No it's a gift I guess. I can't call you crazy because you felt my pain josh. I didn't say I was in pain so how else would you of known its very interesting actually."

"Good I am glad you see it that way Ben. What did you think we were going to tell you?"

"That you had killed someone and I was next I don't know something along those lines?" Everyone laughed at what Ben had said it lightened the air a little bit.

"Sorry Josh I shouldn't have come over really should I. I didn't mean to cause you pain."

"Ben you didn't know what I could do so don't feel bad."

"Am I causing you pain now?"

"No Ben don't worry yourself it was when it was unexpected but now I know what has happened the pain goes."

"Ok that's good."

"So you don't want to leave?" James said. The first thing James had said since we told Ben.

"No of course not unless you don't want me here?" James laughed. "No It's just good to know that your not going to run away screaming."

I was stunned how Ben was taking all this it felt good not to have to lie to Ben now.

"Josh I can understand your art work now it's different I have never seen anything like it before but now I know why."

"My art work really isn't that good Ben not like other artists out there."

"No Josh it's unique it stands out other people have tried to draw emotion and they are good but yours well it just stands out. And now I know why. Which is a shame the mystery behind them kind of draws you in. that's why they are so good."

"Sorry but you have lost me?" Annabel said trying to understand.

"It's the feeling's Josh feels."

"Right ok yeah Ha ha yeah your right?" Annabel was looking at the art work on James cast.

"Why are you all looking at my cast for James asked?" James still didn't get Josh's art work and he oversly wasn't listing to Ben's theory.

"Your cast I never noticed it before?" Annabel said as she got up to take a closer look.

"I can see love in it passion lots off passion about something? What is that Josh?" Josh looked embarrassed now we could see past the mystery of his art work.

"Josh please tell me what it is?" Annabel begged.

"Ok It's passion about his Job seeing as he hurt himself. Doing what he loves best and the passion he put's into it. I felt it when James let his guard down and I had to draw it. It's stupid really"

"What were I can't see that all I see is colour?" James said trying to see what they were seeing.

"James some people don't get art and you are one of them." Annabel said laughing.

"No its just because it is rubbish that's why you cant see it." Josh said annoyed at himself.

"Josh I don't understand how you can say that's rubbish it really isn't you should start to believe in yourself." Ben said trying to convince Josh.

"Ben is right Josh you are very good at what you draw proper little artist. Josh I am very proud of you." I said this to Josh because He needed to know this to reassure him. He was doing the right thing going to college making something of him. He just needed to believe in himself. Josh looked unhappy about something I didn't understand why he was looking upset for.

"Josh what's wrong?" Annabel asked. Good I wasn't the only one who had noticed.

"It's nothing he stood up and said he was going to get a drink. All of us looked a bit confused to why Josh had suddenly changed his mood. Every one seemed to be happy that every thing was out in the open. Well ok maybe not everything was out in the open.

"Do you want me to go see if Josh is ok Frasier?" Annabel asked concerned for Josh.

"No I will go. I can get the food while I am there."

"Do you want a hand?" James asked.

"No its ok I will be back in a minute I will bring some wine out. You can get to know Ben now James." I said smugly.

I walked into the house to find Josh sitting on the work top in the kitchen just staring at the floor.

"Josh what's wrong you don't need hide away any more?"

"I am not the one who is hiding Frasier."Josh said coldly. I didn't know what to say to that I couldn't answer him.

"Do you even know who you are Frasier because right now I am not sure you do?"

"Josh why did you say that for?"

"Because that's what I feel from you Frasier." Josh was shouting now. It was that loud enough that Annabel came running in.

"What's going on guys? Are you not relived that Ben knows now and that he is ok with it?" Annabel asked confused.

"Frasier isn't being himself he is putting a mask on and I don't like it. You are at home were you can be yourself Frasier But here you are hiding." Josh was very upset about this.

"What do you want me to do bout that Josh. Please tell me because I really don't know?" Josh jumped off the work top and walked out into the garden and called Ben over.

Ben slowly walked towards the kitchen trying not to move too much because of the pain he was in. James followed he wanted to see what was happening to.

"Ben do you feel that we have been completely honest with you?" Josh asked.

"Well yeah you have told me everything I need to Know Josh?" Ben answer.

"No we haven't told you everything I feel that you need to know the real Frasier."

"Josh what do you mean?" Ben said worried.

"Josh that's not fair Ben knows who I am?"

"No he doesn't because you are hiding who you are Frasier." Josh said annoyed.

"Josh why do you think they make me who I am?" I was feeling angry now and my arms started to burn slightly. How could he say that Yes I had to live with the scars but it wasn't me. It wasn't something that I chose to have carved on to my arms. It was them and I hated them so much that it hurt. Why was Josh pushing me like this?

"So Josh who am I then because you seem to think that they make me something that I am not. I am nothing like them Josh"

"Frasier I wasn't saying you are anything like them at all. I am trying to make you understand that what they did to you doesn't make you a freak. You should show them with pride because you are a survivor." Josh stopped talking now he could feel the anger he knew he had gone to far. I hadn't dealt with what they had done to me I just lost it with Josh. I grabbed my bandages and ripped them off my arms and held them out in front of me.

"Josh please tell me that this was ok for them to do this to people to me. This is not who I am I am nothing like my fucking parents. Don't you ever say that these evil marking's make me who I am because they don't. My parents believed in what they carved into my arms the evil it must mean the disgusting world they lived in. They believed in this evil and you are saying that is part of me your wrong Josh." Josh looked stunned He didn't realise I felt like that he saw them as art a wonderful thing. I saw them as evil word's I didn't know what they meant and I didn't want to either. Ben walked over to me and grabbed my arm's they were very red as I was very angry.

"Frasier what happend?"Ben asked concerned at what he was seeing.

"My real parent's were in a cult Ben they, well it's hard to understand but they...they decided that I was evil.

They decided that I should be an offering to save there souls for bringing an evil child in to this world." Ben twisted my arms back and fourth, a shocked look spreading across his face.

"I have seen these markings some were before Frasier?"He said scared.

"What?" Josh snapped back. I was stunned I couldn't move my lips to say any thing. I just fell to the ground, numb with shock.

"Frasier are you ok?" every one kept asking.

"I am ok I just need a minute."

"Ben were have you seen these markings before." Josh asked Ben while I composed myself.

"Dr Alex had A book with her the other day she left it in your office I thought it was your's because it was in your office Frasier. I had a quick look through it but the text wasn't in English so I put it back on your desk. Then I saw Dr Alex with it later? What does this mean Frasier?"

"I don't know Ben But if she is reading that Kind of text It can't be good?" I was feeling more and more panicked by the second.

I stood up now James came over to me and put his arm around me.

"No one think's you are like you parents Frasier. I think Josh was trying to help you cope with the issue you have with your scars.

We never knew you felt that strongly about it. But you shouldn't think like you do. They tell a story and it might not be an evil story like you think it might be something special?" James said this trying to calm me down. James was trying to make me understand why Josh was being like he was. Maybe I was out of order but that was how I felt and I honestly thought Josh knew how I felt about it all.

"Ok then now everything Is out can we please eat?" James asked well begging really.

"Yes ok IS that what everyone wants to do?" Annabel patted me on my shoulder and took some food outside.

James and Josh followed Annabel out. I went to sit at the table for I needed to have a minute to calm down. Ben stayed with me he came and sat down next to me.

"Frasier I am glad you showed me your arms and involved me in what Josh can do. I don't want you thinking you have done the wrong thing because you haven't." Ben got up and went outside with the others. I decided to go out side and carry on like nothing had just happened.

I tried but at the back of my mind I just couldn't let go of what I had been told about Dr Alex. For rest of the night everyone enjoyed themselves I just stayed in the corner and kept quite.

I didn't want to ruin this night any more then that I thought it had already.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

When I awoke it was morning my head was still spinning from the night before. I couldn't get to grips with what was said. A new day a fresh start I tried to convince myself, tried. I had so many questions to ask but who could I talk to. Josh kind of made me think a little different about my scars; I shouldn't have just assumed I knew what they meant because I didn't. Annabel had shared a taxi home with Ben so I was surprised to see her car gone when I came down stairs. James and Josh were up but very hung-over.

"Morning". I tried to say in an upbeat voice.

"Yeah morning Josh answed back. James had his head on the table he just held his hand up to wave.

"How are you both feeling?" I asked but it was obvious how they were feeling.

"Great." Josh replied a bit sarcastic. I kind of guessed Josh was in a bit of a mood so I didn't want to push him not like last time I had enough with arguing with him.

"James You going into work today?"

"Yeah I better I need to catch up on some work."

"I will give you a lift in if you want?"

"Cool I will go and get ready." James left the kitchen there was a bit of an atmosphere now. I didn't know what to say to break it.

"What plans have you got to day Frasier?" Josh asked as he got up.

"I don't know I kind of miss work now I want to go back in."

"I see. Nothing else you want to do then?"

"No I don't think so." Josh had put me on the spot a little I didn't know what he meant by that I tried to think if I had anything planned.

Josh pats me on the shoulder and said "you will work it out." Then he walked out. It confused me a little I was thinking about so much stuff that I wasn't sure what he meant by that. James came back down stairs now.

"Wow you were fast James?"

"Yeah I am getting use to using these things now".James said laughing. I loved his face when he laughed.

"When do you want to go?"

"Now if you like I have a lot to do."

"Ok then I will go and see if Josh want's a lift in." I walked up stairs Josh was on his bed painting on a canvas.

"I am taking James into work do you want a lift in?"

"I am not going in today Frais."Josh said he looked up, a resigned look spreading across his face, ready for me to shout at him for missing college.

"Ok well I won't be long." I started to walk back down stairs when Josh shouted my name. I went back to see what he wanted?

"Yeah?"

"Ben is coming over later is that ok?"

"Ok what have you two got planned?"

"Ohh we are just going to go and have a look at some stuff on the internet at the cafe in the high street."

"What stuff?"

"It's nothing Just thought I would just tell you." I walked out of Josh room and went to walk down stairs James was standing by the front door

"Frasier where is your head to day?"

"What?" He pointed to my arms I hadn't got them covered I sighed and turned round to go back upstairs to cover them up. James was right I couldn't think straight, I was having trouble thinking at all. As I walked up stairs I heard Josh on his phone…"Yeah its ok Frasier knows you're coming over but I haven't told him that part yet."

I walked into Josh room.

"What part haven't you told me Josh?" I was a bit worried why Josh was going behind my back about something. Josh put his phone down.

"Its nothing Frasier chill nothing for you to worry about." I wasn't sure I gave Josh a glare to see if he would tell me what he had planned.

But he just sat on his bed with a huge smile on his face he wasn't going to tell me. I walked back out to wrap myself up and went back down stairs to take James to work.

"What's wrong Frasier you don't seem happy?"

"I am ok James I just need some time on my own to sort my head out I will be ok." We were quite on the ride to his work I dropped James off he was hesitant to go. To leave me on my own in the kind of mood I was in.

"James I will be ok I just need some space to think things over ok." I said to reassure him.

"Ok ring me if you feel like you need to talk to someone ok." He kissed me and got out of the car. I sat in my car for a while not sure were to go I didn't want to go home just yet. Then I had a sudden urge to Go some were I could never face before.

I started the car and drove there.

I arrived at my destination. It was my foster parent's grave. We buried them side by side so they wouldn't be apart in life or in death.

I didn't go to there funeral I couldn't do, it I felt like an intruder. They weren't my real parents so I felt that I had no right to be there then. So this was my first time that I had seen there grave stones. The grief hit me like someone had just punched me in the stomach. I collapsed and just cried until I had no tears left. I sat beside there graves for a long time just trying to get the strength to leave. I got my phone out to see what the time it was I had been here for three hours. It didn't feel like it had been that long I did feel a little better now my head was feeling a lot clearer.

I thought about what Ben had said last night about Dr Alex and the book she was reading. I wonder if she even knows the langauge. And what was her purpose with it? I stood up and dried a couple of tears away as I left there grave.

I felt sad I didn't want leave them but it would do me no good if I just stayed Here. I got in my car and drove home I wasn't sure if Josh would be in or at this cafe doing some research with Ben. When I arrived home Josh and Ben were in the garden with lots of pieces off paper all over the table.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I creped up to them. Josh and Ben looked up Josh looked scared then he smiled.

"Frasier you scared me you fool." Josh said with a smile on his face.

"Well I thought you would have known I was home?"

"No I wasn't focusing on you I was to busy looking at all this but you feel loads better frais?"

"Yeah I do I had some thinking to do."

"You feel a lot calmer now were did you go?" I was a bit embarrassed now I wasn't sure if I should tell Josh but he stood there waiting for an answer.

"Well were did you go frais?"

"I went to mum and dads grave." I said in a low painful voice the pain started to hit me again. I had to sit down. I put my head in my hands to try to think clear again.

"You did? That's great Frasier." Josh came over to me and hugged me. He was pleased I was starting to deal with this pain I was storing away inside. It was doing me no good having it all locked up. I looked up now with tearful eyes I looked at what they had on the table and changed the subject.

"So what are you two doing then?" I asked again.

"Nothing for you to worry about Frais we will tell you when we know more." Josh answed back amused that I didn't know what they were doing. I decided I would leave them to it Ben didn't say much he just kept looking at me with a worried glare As I walked away I heard Ben say something to Josh.

"Do you think he is going to be ok Josh he seems really upset?"

"Yeah he just need's time Ben." Josh replied. A couple of hours past they were still in the garden going through the paper work. Josh looked frustrated and Ben just looked confused rubbing his forehead. It looked like they were trying to piece a jig saw puzzle together but couldn't find the right pieces. I made them some sandwiches and some thing to drink they must be hungry by now I thought to myself. I was feeling a lot more composed then I was earlier. I took the food out to them and totally forgot that I wanted to ask Ben how he was..

"How are the rib's Ben?" I asked for concern He didn't look like he was pain any more.

"Yeah there ok now Annabel made me go to hospital when we got in the taxi last night."

"Good on Annabel were they broken?" I said thinking I would have to thank her for that.

"No just a light fracture but they said that if I wasn't bandaged up then I would have caused myself more damage. So thanks for that." Ben said more cheerful now he could see I was feeling better.

"You're welcome Ben. So what did you think of Annabel then Ben?"

"Yeah I really like her she is very pretty and very funny." He stopped what he was saying and look like he was thinking about something.

"Yes she is one in a million its just shame she works so hard we never get to see her much."

"I don't understand why she has to do that kind of work though? Well I wouldn't have guessed she was like that she seems so nice." Ben said a little confused.

"What don't you agree with then Ben?" I asked confused her job wasn't that bad.

"Everything about it? Why do you agree with it then?" Ben asked to say why we would agree with it.

"Ben it's only her Job it doesn't change who she is?"

"So you're happy to let her sleep with different men every day? I don't know if I could stand by her if she made that choice especially if she was my best friend?"

"Sorry what did you just say Ben?" Josh asked completely confused about what Ben was talking about.

"Yeah what did Annabel tell you Ben?" I asked to confused.

"She told me she is a prostotuit?"Ben answed back Feeling a bit foolish now. Me and Josh looked at each other and just laughed I couldn't believe she told him that. She did have a bit too much to drink last night I wonder if she would rember saying that to Ben.

"Ben she is a makeup artist she does the make up for some off the film companies. But mainly for the TV people." I said to let him know what she really does.

"Ohh ok you wait till I see her." Ben said laughing now.

"She got you good Ben." Josh said then went back to the pieces of paper on the table. Ben's pager started to beep and my mobile started to ring it made me jump.

I looked at who was calling it was the hospital I looked at Ben.

"It's the hospital I think we are needed."

"Yeah it must be important if they are paging me and ringing you?" Ben said. I answer my phone and said that I would be there in 10 mins.

"Ohh the excitement?" Josh said with an understanding smile on his face.

"Will you be ok on your own Josh?" I asked.

"Yes go Frasier do your Job. I am just going to try and figure all this out?" Me and Ben walked quickly to my car.

"Did they give you any clue why we were both needed?" Ben asked

"No they just said that they had been told to get in contact with me to get us in?" We were both on edge now wondering what was waiting for us when we got there. Luckily I had my arms covered still I had forgotten to un wrap them earlier. We arrived at the hospital we ran in to get started. The nurse looked shocked to see us as we rushed in.

"Dr O'Neil, Dr Jackson what are you doing here?" The nurse asked confused to why we were in a panic. Ben looked at me completely confused.

"We were told there was an emergency and that we needed come in straight away?" I was getting a little bit annoyed now.

"Ohh well I will go and ask Dr Alex but there hasn't been any emergency here?" The nurse walked off to find Dr Alex. I crossed my arms I wasn't happy. Ben poked my arm to point to Dr Alex. Who was walking around like she was something special she was handing out flyers.

"Well they don't look like they need us Frasier?" Ben said annoyed.

"No they don't do they." I said confused and a little bit worried to why we were called away. I walked over to Dr Alex ready to have ago at her. Dr Alex saw us and tried to hide what she was giving out.

"Dr O'Neil what are you doing here?"

"Well we were called in as there was an emergancy?"I said very angry.

"No there is no emergency here someone must of got there wires crossed?" She said in a calm and annoying tone.

"Well it's not good enough Dr Alex." I said very angry at her. Nurse Pool spotted us and walked over.

"Hello Dr O'Neil. Dr Jackson." She said a bit embarrassed to see Ben I ashumed.

"Hello Nurse pool how are you doing? You look like you have been in the wars a little bit?" She touched her face as I said that and Dr Alex let out a little laugh. Ben gave Dr Alex a glare.

"Yes I have been very clumsy of late. Any way you're looking Good the break oversley doing you some good?" Ben's face dropped he went very red with anger he clenched his fists ready to hit something. Then he let his hand lose as he realised what he was doing.

Dr Alex was loving this.

Dr Alex started to turn her back on Nurse Pool. Dr Alex's red hair flung round and hit nurse pool in the face.

"Dr O'Neil Charles is celebrating his birthday we are having a get together. Would you like to come?" She handed me a leathlet.

I handed the leathlet to Ben.

"Great I am up for a party" Ben said winding Dr Alex up. She didn't like that her smile slowly faded.

"Nurse Pool are you going?" I asked wondering if it was worth going?"

"Oh um I don't know I might have plans for that night?" She said as she was put on the spot.

"Yes you might be busy Nurse Pool."Dr Alex snapped back.

"Oh come on Jenny you have to come it will be a laugh please." Ben said begging.

"Well ok Adam could do with a good night out so ok then yes." Nurse pool said excited now. Ben's face fell I could see his heart breaking into millions of pieces in front of us. Dr Alex loved that.

"Sorry who is Adam?" I asked foolishly. Ben looked really angry and walked off.

"Adam is my partner. We patched things up and are back together." Nurse pool said in a low voice a little embarrassed by Ben's behaviour.

"Right I see." I didn't know what else to say so I waved good bye and went after Ben. Dr Alex just laughed and walked off to.

I catched up with Ben.

"You ok Ben." I asked worried.

"Yeah I am just going to give up what's the point of me helping her if she doesn't want it." Ben said angry.

"I am sorry Ben I really thought you were getting somewhere with her?"

"Yeah so did I but oversly not. Can we just go please?" Ben asked wanting to get out of here.

"Do you want to come back to mine?" I asked not sure if he wanted to go home.

"If that's ok with you I need a distraction I can help Josh with his project?"

"Yeah what is he doing?" I asked because Josh wouldn't tell me.

"You will have to wait and see Frasier."Ben lightened up a little now. We arrived back at home and walked in Josh was in the garden still.

We walked out side. "Josh we are back. I shouted. Josh looked shocked he looked worried about something.

"Josh what's wrong?" I asked worried.

"I don't know it could be nothing but I can't be sure?" Josh said a bit shaky.

"Josh I think you need to sit down you look a bit white. Ben said worried to. Something was very wrong for Josh to react like he had.

"Take a deep breath Josh and explain everything." Josh composed himself.

"I was out here just going over this lot and I felt something I never felt it before?"

"What was it Josh I asked a little confused?

"I don't know it just felt wrong I don't know who it was but it was coming from inside the house I think?" Josh said panicked.

"What? You felt some one in our house?" I said very worried now?

"Yeah I think so." I left Ben with Josh to have a look inside to see if there was anything missing I couldn't see anything I was about to walk back out side I saw something on the sofa neatly laid on the arm I picked it up. It was a black scarf with a silver embroided logo on the corner Josh walked back in to the house now. I quickly put it in my pocket to hide it from Josh I didn't want him to see this.

"Frasier what's wrong you don't feel right?"

"It's ok Josh you just scared me that's all. Nothing has been moved so I don't think anyone has been here." I said to try and ease Josh. I could feel the scarf in my pocket it felt like it was burning so when it was clear I went up stairs to hide it. I couldn't believe it what was it doing here Why now. I recognised the embroidery on the scarf it was the logo from the cult that my real parents were in. I walked back down outside to walk into the conversation Ben and Josh were having.

"I don't know Ben it just doesn't match it is like they have taken bits and used it but it doesn't make since." Ben and Josh looked confused and stopped there conversation when I came back.

I sat down on the chair and unwrapped my bandages I wasn't planning to go out for a while. Josh packed all the papers away and put them in a folder. I tried to forget about the scarf I didn't want Josh to feel my anxiety.

"So you were quick at the hospital?" Josh asked to make conversation.

"Yeah it was a false alarm no emergency after all." I said a bit disappointed. I missed work it was good to be back there even if it was under false pretences.

"Right that's a pain?" Josh replied. Then Josh looked at Ben with a worried glare. I could tell by his reaction that some thing was wrong with Ben. Josh looked like he wasn't sure if he should bring it up. He didn't want to scare Ben even though he new about what Josh could do.

It was still new to Ben. Ben looked at Josh.

"Sorry." Ben said.

"Yep there it goes again?" Josh replied.

"There goes what?" I asked confused.

"Ben has put his guard up. I can't feel him any more." Josh said annoyed.

"I don't want my feeling's affecting you Josh." Ben looked down to his feet.

"Ben I don't mind you don't have to protect me." Josh said to make Ben feel a bit better. "That's better." Josh patted Ben on the back.

"Ouch." Ben said at what Josh had just done.

"Oh sorry I forgot you ok?"Josh asked concerned.

"Yeah I am use to pain." Ben said laughing. I felt bad about Ben he had such a difficult up bringing it wasn't fair Ben was such a lovely guy he deserved better. The rest of the day flew past James rang to say that he was ready to come home.

I covered my arms and went to go pick James up.

"Frasier you look better?" James said as he got in the car.

"Yeah I feel better now." I smiled but my smile gave something away James new me to well.

"Ok you hid that well Frasier what's up?" James asked concerned. I took a deep breath and started...

"James someone was in our home earlier."

"What did we get burgled?"

"No Me and Ben got called into work for an emergency which was a lie they got there wires crossed. When I got back Josh said he felt someone's feelings in the house but when he went in no one was there. But I found a scarf with there logo on it James I think they have found me?"

"What who? what scarf Frasier?"

"I am not sure but I think it could be the brotherhood why was the scarf there for?"

"Are you sure? It isnt this Dr Alex playing a sick joke on you?"

"Yeah it could be that I suppose but It proper freaked me out when I saw it Josh doesn't know about the scarf ok I Don't want him dragged in to this ok."

"Yeah sure Frasier sure don't panic we will sort this out ok." I felt better now I had confided in James a relief to get it off my chest I was surprised I hid it from Josh so well to. We got home and Josh and Ben were in the front room just talking. James was surprised that Ben was here.

"Hi Ben." James said a bit of hand. I made James come into the kitchen.

"James there is no need for you to be jealous of Ben?" I said as I held him close.

"I can't help it Frasier I feel that I am going to lose you because I don't deserve you."

"James don't you ever say that ok you are the only one for me ok I never want to hear you say that ever again." It really hurt me when James talked like that. As if to say He wasn't good enough for me. It wasn't true James was the only thing that made me feel complete.

"Ok I will try my best with Ben." James said as he looked into my eyes. I just felt like I was melting when he looked at me with those big blue eyes. Josh and Ben walked into the kitchen me and James were hugging.

"Please get a room guys all this love in the room is making me feel sick." Josh said laughing.

"Yeah your just jealous Josh admit it." James said as he pulled away from me. I didn't want to let him go I needed to be in his grip in his warm arms.

"Have you told James about the party we have invited are self to?" Ben asked.

"What party?" James looked at me.

"I totally forgot about that Dr Alex is holding a party for her husband it is his birthday in a couple of days."

"Great I want to talk to this Dr Alex she has got some explaing to do." James said annoyed by this woman.

"James I don't think that will be the best time to talk to her?" Josh and Ben looked at each other lost?

"Sorry did we miss something?" Josh asked.

"It doesn't matter Josh nothing for you to worry about." James replied. I just looked at my covered arms trying to push back the anxiety. I don't think I fooled Josh though. Josh just sat there staring at me who made me feel even worse then I already did. It was for the best to keep Josh out of this as much as possible.

"What's the dress code then?" James asked changing the subject.

"Black tie I think?" I said unsure I looked over to Ben who still had the leathlet.

"Yeah says men smart black tie women cocktail dress." Ben said as he looked at the leathlet.

"Do I need to get a new suit then?" James asked He didn't like these events. He never let me down though he would always come with me even if he hated every minute of it.

"No you have that nice suit in the wardrobe you could were that?" I said.

"It's not too old?" James asked worried he would look out of place.

"No defiantly not you always look good in that suit." I commented on as I imagined him wearing it now.

"Ben are you going?" James asked.

"Yeah I guess so they always have good food at these things." Ben said shocked that James was talking to him.

"Yes that's the only good part about it I suppose. Have you got a date then?" James asked.

"Um no my date fell through." Ben said with a slight anger to his tone.

"Wow she has proper hurt you hasn't she?" Josh said. Ben didn't answer Josh question so we left the conversation there.

"Hang on slight problem what about this?" James said pointing to his plaster cast.

"Yeah good point. Well I am going to ring Annabel later and get her round for some advice. So she can sort you out some how."

"Great she will love that." James said a bit embarrassed.

"Yeah I want her to stay with Josh While we are out I don't want him here on his own. I whispered in James ear.

"What's the big secret you to?" Josh asked worried.

"It's nothing Josh." I snapped back.

"Frasier calm down it's not Josh fault." James said to calm me down.

"Sorry Josh I didn't mean to snap.

"Well are you going to tell me what's up? Is it something to do with earler?"Josh said worried.

"No." James said before I got a chance to speak.

"So you know what happened earlier then?" Josh was getting angry now.

"Yeah Frasier told me you thought you felt someone in the house. But nothing was moved or missing so I don't think we have to worry about that do we?"

"Do you think I was lying James?" Josh said shouting now.

"No of course not Josh all I was saying was that we all seem to be on edge. And I was just trying to reassure you that nothing was wrong." James said trying to calm Josh down. Josh got up and walked off.

"Josh" I shouted after him. He ignored me

"I should go see if he is ok."I said to James.

"No I think you need to leave him to cool off."

"Yeah James is right Frasier let him have some space for a bit. He will come back when he cools down. "Ben said agreeing with James.

I looked at James as if to say should I tell Ben or not.

"So what are you two really worried about then something's happened you both seem on edge."

"Do we?" I sounded shocked I thought we were hiding it well. "I don't know it could be nothing but I just want to play it safe for now.

The best thing I can do is not to involve you or Josh in this for now it's for the best." I said not trying to sound bothered by what was happening.

"Right ok then well if you need any help I am here and I am sure Josh would be to." Ben said trying to reassure me.

"Ben that's very helpful thank you." James said. James was really trying with Ben now I was so grateful.


	8. Chapter 8

_CHAPTER 8_

The past few days flew past in a haze. It felt strained at home Josh had stayed off college. I stayed at home I was kind of happy Josh had stayed home were I could keep him safe. I was looking foward to tonight and was relived Annabel could stay with Josh whille we were out.

James had gone into work for the morning. I guess the excitment was rubbing of on Josh he seemed a bit more cheerful now.

"What time is Annabel coming over?"

"She is doing a shoot first so depending how long they will be then she will be over."

"Great I cant wait we are going to have a good night Just me and annabel alone." This shocked me do i need to have a talk with him about this mayb leaving them alone wasnt a good idea.

"Josh do you like Annabel?"

"What no."Josh said defensethly.

"Ok I was just asking." Josh was a little embaresed now I dont think he ment for me to know what he felt for Annabel.

"Is Ben coming over to get ready here?"Josh asked changing the subject.

"No he is going to meet us there he has to work the dayshift seeing as Dr Alex is getting her horns polished."

"Meaow"Josh said laugthing. I looked at Josh with a smile on my face.

"What was that for Frais?"Josh asked he could feel the happyness in me.

"I have missed you laugth Josh things have been a bit tence around here latley It's good to see you relaxed."

"Yeah About that I am sorry I know you were only looking out for me I was out of order the way I acted."

"No it wasnt fair that we made you feel like something was wrong when there wasnt. I was overeating."

"You overeact Fraiser never."Josh said laugthing again.

I put him in a headlock Annabel walked in.

"Shall I come back?" She said cheekerly.

"No I am just teaching Josh a lesson." I laugthed. I was so happy now. The atmosphire was so much better.

"So what exciting plans have you got tonight then?"

"Well Dr Alex you rember Dr Alex?"

"Yeah super bitch."Annabel replyed. Josh laugthed and disapered up stairs.

"Yeah she was handing out leaflets she tried to hide them. it is her husbands sixteth birthday."

"What How old? Hang on how old is Dr Alex?"Annabel said excited by the gossip.

"She is Thirty-nine I belive But she likes to tell every one she is twenty-one."

"Ohh my thats just wrong."

"Yeah well Dr Alex is a greedy money loving cow."I said with hate for her.

"So why are you going if you dont like her?"

"Just to wind her up She didnt want us to come so we invited are self's."

"Who is we? You and James?"

"It was all Ben's idea But James is coming to."

"Ahh I realy like Ben he is so sweet. I bet James is eststic about going."Annnabel said sarcastic.

"Be fare It's not his fault he doesnt enjoy these thing's."I said defending him.

"Yeah You wonder why he doesnt like those partys they are full of rich pompus greedy people. James doesnt have anything in common with them he is so down to earth and normal. As for you well actully I was suprised you were with James when I first met him."Annabel reveled.

"Wow I never knew you felt that way before."I said shocked.

"It isnt a bad thing Fraiser. You and James have been through a lot together. It just Shows how strong you two are."Annabel said reasuring me.

Josh came back down stairs now he started to draw something.

"So what are you wearing?"Annabel asked excited.

"Well I dont know I can not decide between these two?" I showed her the two suits. I had a dark blue pin striped suit and a plain black one.

"I think you should go for the plain black one. The pin stripe one makes you look like a gangster."Annabel said laugthing.

"Thanks I like the pin stripe one though?"

"Yeah It's nice but not for this occation."Annabel said with her wisdom words. Josh couldnt stop laugthing now.

"What so funny?I asked Josh.

"Nothing" he said still laugthing.

"So what make up do you want on?" She said grabbing her Make up bag.

"Ohh no your not touching me with that stuff."I said backing away from her.

"Old man a bit of eye liner or lip stick isnt going to kill you."Josh said laugthing

"You see Josh agrees with me Fraiser?"Annabel said with a pleading look in her eyes.

"No I just want to see Frais look stupid."Josh said loving all this.

"You better watch yourself Josh or i will get my lipstick out and make you wear it."

"Go on then."Josh said daring her. She got it out of her bag and waved it at Josh. "You wouldnt dare?"Josh said scared now. Annabel ran over and jumped on Josh and put bright pink lipstick on him.

"There that's better."Annabel said as she sat on Josh's lap. I got my mobile out ready to take a picture.

"Say cheese."I said as i took the picture of them. Classic. I sent it to Ben and James They would like that. Annabel got some wipes out and took it off Josh.

"Pink isnt your colour Josh"She said still sitting on Josh's lap. Josh looked a bit uneasy.

Poor Josh I couldnt belive he had fallen for annabel this wasnt good. I know she only saw Josh as brotherly figure not boyfriend matireal.

Josh looked up at me with daggers if looks could kill I thought. He must of felt my concern. Josh wiggled a little bit now.

"Sorry am i hurting you?"

"No I was just getting comfotable."Josh replyed a little sheepish. I hope Josh knew that there could never be anything between them. Josh looked at me understanding my feelings.

"Do you want a drink Annabel." Annabel looked at her watch

"Mmm to early for drink so I will have to settle for tea." I was worried now I wasnt sure if she was joking or not.

"Ha-ha Fraiser Chill she is having you on."Josh said laughing he felt my anxity.

"Ohh Fraiser you fool." She got up of josh's lap and gave me a hug.

"I will go make some tea then. Josh do you want one?"

"Yeah please."Josh replyed. Annabel sat on the sofa next to Josh Watching him draw.

I bought back the tea not wanting to leave them alone for to long but what was the point They would be alone tonight.

"Josh You know it's really relaxing watching you draw." She put her head on his shoulder.

"Thanks Annabel thats very sweet of you."Annabel looked up to Josh. He looked in to Annabel's eyes he had to look away very fast.

"What?"Annabel asked confused to why Josh had just done this.

"It's nothing."Josh tried to sound normal but his voice cracked a little.

"Tea."I said to break the silence. I handed the tea to annabel and Josh.

"No biscuits Fraiser?"Annabel asked cheekly. Josh put his tea on the floor and handed his art pad to Annabel.

"I will go get some seeing as Fraiser is a rubbish host." Josh said mocking me.

A few minutes had passed Annabel was flicking through Josh art pad. I got up to go and see what Josh was doing. I walked into the kitchen Josh was looking in the cuboard I was standing right by the cuboard Josh was looking in. He Closed it. Josh gasped it made him jump he wasnt expecting me to be standing there.

"Fraiser you scared me dont sneak up on me like that."Josh said spoked

"Sorry I didnt mean to scare you."I looked at the floor now I could feel Josh's eyes on me he could feel my worry for him. He sat on the work top now. and looked down.

"I know." Josh said in a low voice.

"I didnt say anything Josh."

"I know but I can feel that you are worried about me. Fraiser I cant help how I feel."

"So you do feel something for her then?" Josh took a deep breath.

"Yes."Josh said very upset now.

"Are you going to tell her?"I asked worryed for my brother. Josh jumped of the work top.

"No I cant tell her How could I? It would ruin everything are friendship. I would rather have her as a friend then nothing at all. I know she doesnt feel the same way as me."

"I guess your gift does have it's uses then?"I said trying lighten the subject.

"Yeah I guess it does at least I wont make a fool of myself." Josh decided to have a look in the other cuboard.

"Do we have any Biscuits?"Josh asked changing the subject.

"Yeah there somewere in there."

"I got them panic over We dont want to upset Annabel now do we."Josh laugted I think he felt better now that he wasnt hidding his feelings any more.

We walked back into the front room Annabel was still looking at josh art work. Mesmerised by it that she didnt even see me leave earlyer.

"Got the biscuits my lady."Josh said trying to be light hearted. He was trying to supress his feelings for Annabel josh knew it was the wrong person to fall for but you cant pick who you fall in love with. Maybe if they haddnt been so close like brother and sister then something could off happend. But thats how there freindship worked I just hope Josh could deal with that. Annabel passed back the art pad and he carried on drawing. Annabel put her head on his shoulder as she watched him draw. Josh gave Annabel a smile then looked over to me as he realised I was watching he looked back down to his art work fast with concentration on his face.

"Ha-ha you will get wrinkles if you stay looking like that for a while Josh."Annabel said making faces at Josh. Josh looked at her and stuck his tong out and carried on with his drawing.

Sudddenly the door flew open it took me by suprise It was only James coming back home but it just shocked me.

Josh looked over to me with a worried glare Josh was still convinced that we were hiding something from him. James walked into the front room Josh didnt even look at James he just sat there staring at me.

"Hi James."Annabel said as she looked up at him then saw that James was on edge to. James didnt reply to Annabel's welcolme he stood in the door way just staring at me. Annabel took her head off Josh and looked at him watching me.

"Ok guys has something happend that I missed?"Annabel said unsure to why there was an atmosphere now.

No one replyed to what she had asked both of them just looked at the shock on my face. James was worried something had happend and Josh picked up on my anxity. I wasnt expecting him home this early.

"Excuse me Hello Is any one going to answer me?"Annabel said annoyed that we were not answering her questions. Josh stopped staring at me now and looked at Annabel he gave her a reasuring Smile and carried on with his art work. James went over to Annabel and bent down and kissed her on the cheek to say sorry for not saying hello. Then he came over to were I was sitting and sat on the arm just looking in my eyes worried that something had happend.

"Iam hungry." James said as he made his way to the kitchen I got up and followed him. Annabel walked in to the kitchen where James was ready to intergate me.

"Ok whats going on you two?"Annabel asked concerned.

"Its nothing Annabel."I said looking away from her. Annabel made her way over to me and bent down.

"You might need to protect Josh But I dont need protecting so tell me."Annabel asked begging. I looked over to James to ask if I should tell her or not James didnt have an answer for me.

I took annabel's hand and walked out of the kitchen and back into the front room. Josh looked up to see what we were doing?

"Iam just taking Annabel up stairs so she can look at James suit see what she can so with it." I said to Josh so he wouldnt get suspisious.

Josh looked at Annabel and shook his head and returned to his art work. Poor Annabel looked so confused. I took her upstairs into my bedroom she sat on the Bed. I pulled out the scarf that I found on the sofa the other day. She looked at it and didnt understand why I was giving her this scarf.

"Josh felt someone in the house the other day whille Me and Ben were called to an emergency at work. Which I think was to get us out of the house because when we got to the hospital there was no emergency. So we came back to find Josh in a state he said that he felt someone and it felt like they were in our house. He didnt know who it was We calmed Josh down and I went in to see if anything had been moved or takein.

As I was walking out I saw that on the sofa." I pointed to the scarf that Annabel was holding.

"Right ok strange. Well what does this mean?"Annabel pointed to the logo on the scarf.

"That's the trademark that my real parents had when they were in the cult." Annabel face went white like she had seen a ghost.

"Fraiser I have seen this patten before?"Annabel said scared.

"What? Were Annabel?"I sat down next to her to comfort her.

"I am not sure But i know i have seen it give me a minute to think it might come back to me." We sat on the bed quite for a bit.

"No I cant think were Fraiser."Annabel said frustrated. She held the scarf just looking at it trying to rember were she had seen it.

"Whats the B mean?" Annabel asked about the logo.

"It means Brotherhood." I said not happy about sharing this infomation to her.

"Right that's kind of nice?"

"Yes that what they want you to think that they are this great family and that they care. But the minute you do something which they think is wrong well then your in trouble." I streached my arms out to show my markings.

"What I dont understand I thought you were suppose to be there saviour?" Annabel asked confused. I never really went in to to much detail to that part of my life so I guess she needed to know now.

"Yeah when I was born they were happy but the elders said they saw someting in me that was wrong. they couldnt get rid of me untill My parents had decided that was the right thing to do."

"What did they see in you?"

"Me being gay i asume." I said in a low voice. I was happy with who i was but in the back of my mind sometimes I felt ahamed. That was only because thats how they made me feel. Annabel stood up now.

"They did this to because you are Gay?" Annabel shouted.

" Yes and No this was always going to happen to me one way or another but they used this as an excuse if i haddnt they would have made something up so they could convince my parents to sacrafice me It's ok Annabel calm down." I said standing now. Josh ran up the stairs as he heard the shouting. I grabbed the scarf from Annabel and put it in my pocket.

"What's going on?"Josh said panicked.

"Its ok Josh Annabel just found something out about me that she didnt know it just shocked her."

"Yeah Josh I am ok sorry I didnt mean to scare you." Josh came into the room and sat on the bed.

"What was it?" Josh asked feeeling left out.

"I told Annabel the truth to why the brotherhood tried to take my life." Josh shuddered He hated that part of the truth.

"Right were is James suit?" Annabel said changing the subject. I got up and got the suit out of the wadrobe and threw the scarf in there.

So it wasnt on me it made me feel dirty having it near me. I passed the suit to Annabel.

"Ok so what's wrong with this then Looks ok to me?"

"James cant get his leg in it." Stating the obvious. Josh laugthed.

"Ok yes I know just because I am blonde I am aloud to make mistakes." Great The atmosphere was better now.

We walked down stairs with the suit so Annabel could see how far James could get his leg in.

"Where is James?" I asked Josh expecting him to be in the front room.

"He's in the kitchen cooking something." Josh sat back down to his art work. Annabel stood stunned.

"Hang on did I hear you right?" Annabel asking Josh.

"Hear what?" Josh said not taking his eye of his art work.

"James cooking?"

"James can cook Annabel?" I said suprised at what she was saying.

"I have got to have a look at this?" She said amused at what was happening. Annabel walked into the kitchen. "I cant belive you are cooking James?" Annabel made James jump.

"Ha ha you scared me Annabel. What are you on about I have cooked for you before?" James said confused by Annabels reaction.

"No you haven't never we always had takeaway if Fraiser wasnt here."She said laugthing.

"Oh right ok good point. Well this will be a treat for you then wont it." James said amused.

I looked into the front room to see if Josh was still in there. He was he was very much into his art work to day.

"James" I wispered. He came over to me because he knew I didnt want Josh to hear what I was about to say.

"I have shown Annabel The scarf."

"Are you sure that was a good idea?" James asked worryed.

"Well I had no choice really."

"Yeah I forsed him to tell me." Annabel laugthed.

"Ok well you dont need to worry about any of this I will be talking to the person who is involved in this." James said very protective.

"So you know who it was?" Annabel asked confused.

"James thinks it's Dr Alex."

"Why?"

"Because she is sick in the head and I think she knows more then she lets on. Why would she have that book for?"

"What book?"

"Annabel do you not rember what happend the other night the whole telling Ben and him saying Dr Alex had this book?"

"Erm I only rember bits actully."Annabel said a bit embarased.

"Oh dear. Ok Ben saw a book that Dr Alex was reading. When he saw my arms he said he had seen the same markings in this book that she had." I said trying to jog her memory.

"Ohh right ok that makes more sence now But why would she do that for?"

"Well that's what I am going to find out tonight."James said Annoyed by the thought of spending time in her company.

"James I really dont think tonight is the night to talk to her about this?"

"Yeah I agree with Fraiser James I have met her once and she is a super bitch." Annabel said worried for us. Then Annabel when compleatly white she looked like she was going to pass out.

"Annabel are you ok?" I asked concened.

"Yeah I have just rembered were I saw thet logo Fraiser?"She said scared.

"Come on Annabel sit down." James said pulling out a chair.

"Thanks. It was when we had are meal rember I said to Dr Alex Nice tattoo. And she hid it really fast.?"Annabel said still shaking.

"That was her Tattoo?" I asked unsure.

"Yeah defently." I looked up to james With a worried glare.

"What does this mean then?" Annabel asked concerned.

"It's ok it could be a coincerdant." Trying to reasure Annabel. I wasn't falling James with that remark. This made me feel more on edge now if she did have this tattoo. Then this wasnt a good sign iam going to have to talk to her for defent now. but I couldnt ask her out right. It would have to be bought up in to conversation this was going to be hard.

"Right Annabel you have to promice me you can not tell Josh any off this. He can not know." I said trying to protect Josh from all this.

He didnt need to be involved I wasnt happy that Annabel knew this much but maybe it would help to keep Josh from asking questions.

Annabel could beswade him nothing was wrong. He would listen to her.

James finished the cooking for annabel's and josh's tea it was quite sweet really looking after them he wasn't normally like this but I guess I had been so preocapied latley that he took that role. Annabel sorted out James suit she had to cut it up he wouldnt have been able to wear the trousers if she haddnt. It did look kind of bizzare but she haddnt finished yet. He had one long leg normal and his other leg with the cast on was showing it did look good because of the art work on it. Josh got his paints out to make the colours on his cast more bright.

"Well this will be a party talker wont it."James said a bit worried about tonight. I rubbed his arm to let him know it was going to be ok.

The rest of the day had gone so fast Annabel had done a wonderful job in sorting James out.

"Right are you ready?" I said to James as I wraped my arms up ready to go.

"Yeah sure lets go and get this over with." James said knowing he was going to dread this evening. I did feel bad that I was taken him when he really didnt like these things I didnt want him to feel left out at the same time.

"James you know you dont have to come I wouldnt be affended if you wanted to stay here." I said a worried for James reaction.

"Fraiser Dont be silly I am not going to send you to the lions den alone am I?"James said reasuring me that he was fine about coming.

We walked down stairs to show off Annabel's fantastic work.

"Wow look at you. Well i am impressed give us A twirl." Annabel said. Josh got his camera out and took a photo.

"Well we wont see you in this suit again so we better have a memory of it."Josh laugthed. I looked into James eyes to reasure him that he would be ok.

"Ready?"

"Yeah It's now or never I suppose."James said disharted.

"James think off the food there it will be amazing." Annabel said trying to make him feel better.

"Yeah good point I am hungry now lets go." James said laugthing.

"Ok kid's dont wait up." I said to lighten the mood.

"Yes very funny." Josh replyed.

"Ohh Annabel what are you goin to do stay here tonight?" I asked concerned I hadnt thought about that. Annabel looked over to Josh who was looking at his camera.

"Um I will stay over if that's ok?"

"Great thank you. Josh will you sort out the the spare room for Annabel she is staying the night." I said to make Josh aware of the plan.

"That's ok she can sleep with me."Josh said sarcasticly. I gave Josh a glare hopeing he was only Joking Annabel found it funny. I think James noticed my worried glare.

"Come on lets leave them to it."James said tuging my arm.

"Behave you two." I said in a stern voice. Josh shook his head waved goodbye.

We got in to the car. "Roof down or up?"

"Show off." James said laugthing. "So what was that glear you gave Josh for?" James asked unsure to why I had done that.

"Josh has told me he has strong feelings for Annabel."

"ohh he finaly reveled it then?"

"It's ok Josh knows that nothing will ever happen between them." I said reasuring James or trying to reasure myself more like

"Thats a bit rubbish isnt it poor Josh well I guess it is good that he knows how annabel feels at least he isnt walking in blind."

"Yeah thats what I said he will be ok now we know a bout it it might be easyer for him to get over her hopefuly. It took about half hour to get to this grand house.

"Who's house is this then?" James said looking as we drove up the drive.

"I am not sure I wouldnt have thought it was Dr Alex place getting it dirty having people around looking at her stuff she wouldnt like that."

"Yeah true. Maybe it's a hotel it certanly looks grand doesnt it?" James said with a worried tone. I parked up and we made are way to the entrance. Dr Alex was standing in the door greeting people.

"Here goes." James said as he took a deep breath.

We walked up to the door where Dr Alex was standing giving every one the once over as they walked in she looked so fake.

"Dr O'Neil and who might this be?" She asked looking at James. My heart began to race. I panicked. Who could I say James was?

I had always been quiet about my sexualty to people who didnt know me. My real parent's had done a good job in making me feel ashamed for the choice of path I had chosen to folllow as they would say. I looked over to James. His face fixed in an embarrased heart broken stare at me.

Did he think I was ashamed? Everything became clear, how could I treat him this way. For years I had introdused him as my friend an acqwentance. He had always stood by quietly and accepted it. But he wasn't my friend. Well he was, but he was also much more. I watched as the light caught his face ,and made his pale stubbled shaded skin glow. he was looking right at me waiting for a responce. He was breathtaking I fell in to his eyes and knew that's were I wanted to stay forever. He was my love my solemate. James looked down with a slight smile on his face due to the orkwaness that was present.

"This Is my partner James." I said as I lifted his face and looked into his eyes. Dr Alex looked shocked But soon regained her cold fake compesure. she moved out of the way to let us in. James acedently Hit Dr Alex with his crutches.

"Ohh I am sorry I am still learning to use these." James said in a sarcastic voice he gave her a glare to warn her I think. The lady behind us couldnt stop gigling at what had just happend. Dr alex gave her a nasty glare. It was very funny It made James feel better any way.

As we walked in every one was looking at Poor James and his bright colourful plaster cast. We went to the bar to get a drink. James stood next to me with a proud look on his face. He must of been happy about what he had heared me say. He had waited a long time to hear those words. He was mine and I loved him. Ben came in now we waved him over As it loked like Dr Alex was winding him up About not having A date.

"Hay guys You ok?" Ben asked I dont think he had been to many of these partys he loooked a little awkwad.

"Let me get you a drink Ben What do you want?" James said knowing how he felt.

"Lager will be fine thank you." Ben replyed.

"Hi can I have a pint of lager please and put it on Dr Alex's Bill please." James asked with athorotie

"Of course sir." The barmen replyed. Ben loved this.

"Thanks James."

"No Thank Dr Alex. Cheers." James held his pint up. Ok maybe James would be ok tonight with Ben on his side.

"Dr O'Neil" I heard from across the room. It was Dr Alex husband.

"Hello Charles good to see you."

"Yes and you to Young man are you enjoying yourself?" He asked then looking at james.

"Yes this is a lovely place is it yours?"

"Ohh no we have just rented it for the eveing. Could you imagine my wife having all these people in our home no she wouldnt like that."

"No I guess not." I said a little uneasy.

"So who are your friend's I reconise this chap here." He held his hand out to shake Ben's hand.

"Yes well you Know Dr Jackson of course. And this is my partner James." I said proudly.

"Of course" Charles said expecting it he shook James hand.

"Well there are few people I would like you to meet Dr O'Neil." I looked at James with an apolgetic smile. "I wont be long.".

"Well then there were two." I heard as i left james with Ben.

I kept my eye on James to make sure he was ok He seemed to be happy in convesation with Ben. This made me feel a lot happyer that they where getting on

"Dr O'Neil its good to see you here." Dr Jones said as Charles was introdusing me to every one.

"Hello Dr Jones How are you?" I asked politley

"Yes good thank you. Sorry I just need to go and talk to some one quickly I will come find you a bit later." Dr Jones said working the room

I was glad I wasnt on the board I couldnt keep up all this protence likeing everyone then when there backs were turned the real truth coming out.

I noticed Dr Alex with a group of people. I reconised the guy she was talking to He wouldnt stop staring at me. It was the same guy that she was having lunch with the other day when I was with Annabel.

"Charles Who is the Guy with Dr Alex I reconise him from some were I cant put the name to the face." I said trying to sound smug.

"Ohh I am Not sure who He is. You see it's one of my wifes fads she likes to join groups in her social networking as she calls it.

I dont think he is any one important. Would you like me to get my wife to introduse you to him?" He asked not bothered by who he was.

"No its ok Charles Thank you. I should get back to James now." I said trying to get away from this madness.

"Yes of course have a good night Dr O'Neil." Charles walked off waving at people like he was something great. I walked over to where James was

"Sorry about that hopefully I wont have to leave you again." I said apolgising

"Good." James said planting a kiss on my cheek I heared gasps as they walked past but I didnt care for once I was happy with who I was.

Ben was looking around the room seeing if he knew any one.

"Wow I wonder who she is."Ben said pointing to the lady with a long midnight blue satin dress. She turned round Ben's jaw just droped

It was Nurse Pool. She was on her own she had reconised Ben and started to walk over to us.

"Ben mate you catching Fly's." James said finding Ben's reaction funny. Ben shut his mouth and turned round to face James.

"Is she coming over here?"Ben asked excited.

"Yeah and she looks happy to see you to."

"Really?" Ben turned round To see her face.

"Dr Jackson."Jenny called out.

"Hello Jenny please call me By my first name were not at work."Ben said very happy she was here and alone by the looks of it.

"Hi sorry Is this your Date Ben?" Jenny asked not sure who James was and jumping to the wrong conclusion.

"No he is with me iam afraid. This is James my partner." I wraped my arm around him. "Wow Nurse Pool you look stunning".

I moved over to give her a kiss on the cheek. She blushed.

"Its good to see you Dr O'Neil its nice to meet you James." I looked over to James feeling happy.

"How long have you been together then?" Jenny asked intregued.

"Ohh a very long time we met when we where sixteen." I said proud of how we had lasted.

"ahh a true romance story thats so sweet."

"Yes It is He is one of a kind. i am very lucky."

I went back to him and resumed my position my arm wrapped around him "We need to talk later." I wispered in james ear. James looked at me concerned. "It's ok dont worry." I said. Jenny looked a bit confused Ben knew something was up but he understood the secretsey.

"So are you alone tonight?" Ben asked hopefull

"Erm no I have bought Adam along. He is around here somewere. She said looking around for him A guy came up behind Jenny and put his arm around her it made her jump. Ben face dropped. Ben put his head down ashamed that Jenny had bought him here

"Adam I would like you to meet my friend Ben Jackson he is a doctor at the hospital."Jenny said with a scared tone in her voice.

"Yes I know who he is we have met before Havent we Ben." Adam said with a touch of anger in his voice.

"Ohh ok I didnt know you two knew each other?"Jenny looked at Adam confused.

"We only met once Jenny." He snaped back. She new not to push him so she dropped it.

"And this is James and Dr O'Neil."Jenny said introdusing us i held James close to me I didnt like this guy his attitude just didnt seem right.

James held out his hand to shake Adams hand. he didnt repay the gesture.

"Jenny go get me a drink please and one for the Boys."Adam demanded.

"We are good thank you I will pop to the bar when we want one thanks."James said stunned and being protective off me. Of course Ben was use to all this witnessing it from his past. He knew not to say anything he didnt want Jenny paying for it later.

Jenny went to the bar to get his drink. Ben looked at the floor he was red with anger his fists cleanched ready to punch something.

Adam found this funny. Jenny ran back with his drink so he wasnt waiting for it for to long.

"Sorry there was a lots of people at the bar." Jenny said panicked.

"You put ice in my drink."Adam said angry as he turned to Jenny.

"No I asked for no ice honnest Adam. Let me get you another one." Jenny said panicked.

"Dont be stupid I will have to drink this one wont i." Adam said with hate in his voice. Adam walked off Jenny called after him.

"Jenny I think you should let him cool down."Ben said trying to calm her down.

"Yes your right Ben. do you mind if I stay and talk with you guys?" Jenny said with a tear in her eye.

"Of course Jenny you are more then wecolme to stay with us. James said reasuring her.

"Thank you." Jenny said a little embaresed about what had happend.

"You know that was a bit out of order Jenny? You dont have to take that from anyone." James trying to understand why she was still dateng this moran.

"He has had a tough day he will be ok when he relaxs."Jenny said trying to kid herself. James was about to say something else but Ben just shook his head at james to say dont bother she wont listen. It was a little akward now Ben seemed very angry he wouldnt look at Jenny.

Jenny was to busy trying to carry on like nothing happened living in her dream world and beliving every thing was perfect. we talked about work and Jenny asked if Josh was feeling better from his Bug that he had James looked at me I shoke my head to say dont worry all this time Ben did not say one word.

"Well I should go find adam." Jenny said worried

"No I will go find him for you. stay here and catch up with Fraiser." this was the first thing Ben said to her.

"Are you sure Ben." She asked amazed that after everything that has happend he was still being so kind.

"Yes you enjoy yourself." Ben reasured her but I could see there was more to bens kindness

"Lets go get a drink." James said distracting Jenny. Jenny helped James along to the bar and looked at his cast they seemed happy to be left to it

"Right I am going to find him." Ben couldnt even say his name.

"I dont think you should be Alone when you find him I will come with you." Ben Noded and we wondered around for him. Ben seemed angry and heartbroken. Adam was no were to be seen.

"Lets have a look outside he is proberly smoking." Ben said harshly

As We walked outside we could see two bodys moving together. Ben must have realised who it was " Unbelivable" He waliked back in side. It was Dr alex she had her dress hitched above her waist. She did not stop when she caught my eye. I heard Ben shout out

"No Dont..." there was a small voice from behind him.

"Did you find him?" Jenny asked. I turned round not sure what to do. "Dr O'Neil are you ok, you look like you seen..." Jenny looked at what i was looking at she put her hand over her mouth. As she realised in horror what see was seeing.

"Jenny dont." Ben began as he catched up with her, but it was to late. The damage was done. Adam turned and caught Jennys eye.

"Jenny..."He gasped. But she was already staggering away with shock. Ben followed her, Dr Alex just looked on with out a trace of guilt she found this funny. Adam called after Jenny who had gone into the house sobbing uncontrolable. I turned round to face Adam.

"I think you have done enough damage dont you."

"Get out of my way." Adam said with anger in his voice. Every one had come outside now to see what was happening. Dr Alex was on the floor laugthing her head off. Adam look like he was ready to punch me. James had made his way to myside.

"Well come on then do your worst ohh no that right you prefur to hit women dont you?" James said protecting me. Every one gasped.

"Whatever I dont need this rubbish." He said then he saw jenny in Bens arms crying.

"Jenny call me." He said before walking off like she would after all this.

. "Come on lets get you inside you look like you need a drink." James said as he grabed my hand.

Dr alex was trying to get up she must have had so much to drink she could hardly stand. Every one started to make there way back in now. The only people left out side was Charles and the group of people Dr Alex was with earlyer. I studied the group off people Dr Alex was with earlyer on none off them seemed brotherhood matrieal it just didnt fit they all looked down as they walked away. Apart from the the guy who seemed intreasted in me he just stared at me he had fear in his eyes this didnt make sence If this was the brotherhood they wouldnt react like this it was all wrong and if Dr Alex had taken the vow she would never act like this. I losened my grip so that James would be able to move a lot better with out me holding on to him I turned around and I patted Charles on the back he looked stunned at what was going on I kind of felt sorry for him. I didnt realise Ben had come back out He had noticed the man staring at me. Ben stood by James I started to walk into the house I turned mu head to see if James was ok But he Haddnt moved they just stood there staring at the man They looked like a pair of body gaurds James was about to move foward.

"James Leave It." I called to him. Relif hit this guy why would that be I wondered I wanted to ask him who he was but I heard Jennys sobs grow louder This wasnt the time for it and to be honnest I didnt feel threatend by him so I wasnt intialy sure who he was. Ben and James turned around and made there way back in The guy moved fast to get away strange I thought I followed Ben in

"What was all that about?" Ben asked me.

"I dont know but the people Dr Alex hangs around with are not good people to be involved with. lets put it that way."

"I dont understand Fraiser?" Ben said worryed. I looked over my sholder the group of people were all leaving shaking there heads at Dr Alex. I streached out my arms. so he would understand. Ben realised what I was talking about.

"What them?" Bens anger resumed in his tone

"Ben dont worry about that now lets get Jenny sorted out first yes?" I said concerned for Jenny who was in someones arms.

"Yes but if there here...?" I stopped Ben from talking.

"Ben calm down ok I will explain this to you ok. Not here you can come back to ours I will explain everything a bit better it's not as bad as it seems really. Go and talk to Jenny."

"I dont know if I can Fraiser I am not sure if I can support her any more." Ben said this with pain in his voice the anger gone.

"Look Ben I know she has broken your heart but I dont think that was her fault she was made to feel like she neeeded him you must understand that from your past Ben. I think this is the last straw dont you?" I said trying to help Ben cope with this.

"Yeah you are right as always." Ben said a bit lighter now.

"Well I am A doctor." I smilled at Ben. Ben walked over to the man to take Jenny from his arms. They went to sit down James put his arm around me. Every one was looking at Ben and Jenny. and wispering about what had just happend.

Charles came back in now he looked stunned still white drained his age was showing more then ever now.

"Can I have every one attension please thank you. I would like to thank every one for coming and regret to say the party is over and I beg you goodnight." Charles annonced. He went to sit at the bar the barman gave him a bottle of wiskey and a glass. Everyone left the room it empted fast. There were a couple of people that stayed with Charles they must of been his true friends. I went over to say goodbye It felt rude not to.

We made are way back to the car james at my side I walked slowly with him Ben and Jenny were behind us Jenny had stoped crying now.

"Do you want to come back to our House Jenny?" I asked not sure what she wanted to do.

"No I would like to go home thank you." She replyed no feeling in her voice.

"Jenny are you sure that is the right thing to do?" Ben asked concerned.

"Yes will you stay with me?" She answed

"Jenny I think it would be best if you stay with a friend or someone close you can talk to." Ben said It was hurting him so much not to be able to go back to hers and make everything right. That had to be down to her now.

"Ok I understand Ben." Jenny said trying to hold back the tears.

I drove to Jennys flat. the light was on I looked at James a little concerned.

"Is he here?" Ben said in a very angry tone.

"No I always leave a light on. He wont come back I wont allow him back in. I have been so stupid. Thank you for the lift Dr O'Neil It was nice to meet you James even if it was under bizzare concerqunces. Jenny said being polite.

"It's ok I like a bit of drama." James laugthed. Ben got out of the car with Jenny.

"I will be back in a minute I am just going to walk her in." Ben was only gone a couple of minutes. He came back and got in the back.

"Is she ok?"I asked concerned for her.

"I am not sure time will tell." Ben said warn out.

"So whats the plan then we taking you back to yours?"

"No way you have some explaing to do."Ben said a bit more alert now. James looked at me worried.

"Ohh yeah I forgot about that. Ok back to ours then...


	9. Chapter 9

_CHAPTER 9_

It didn't take long to get home the light was still on so Josh and Annabel must have been up still. We walked in the TV was on but I couldn't hear them talking. I walked in to see what they were doing. Josh was a sleep and Annabel was laying down she had her head on his legs. They looked really peaceful.

"They are asleep" I whispered to Ben and James. We walked into the kitchen.

"Take a seat Ben I will be back in a minute." I went back into the front room I bent down to see if I could wake Josh with out scaring him.

Annabel woke up as she heard me speak.

"Hay what time is it?" Annabel asked still half asleep, looking as beautiful as ever.

"Bout 12ish."

"You're back early then. Was it a good night?"

"Well good might not be the word, bit of an understatement actually."

"OHH gossip tell me all." Annabel sat up now a bit more awake. It woke Josh up her moving of his lap.

"Frasier your back." Josh said stretching and yawning. Josh looked so tiered he was falling back to sleep.

"Josh go to bed its late."

"It's not that late is it?" He said trying to fight his tiredness. Then he woke up suddenly and looked towards the kitchen. "Ben's here then."

"Yeah he is going to stop over tonight I think well that will be the best thing for him to do.

"What happened? He isn't in a good way is he?"

"No I don't think he is. Josh I don't like to ask you this but can you tell me how he is feeling."

"Yeah sure right well his old pain is back he is feeling angry with himself. Ohh hang on and there is something else he is worried about something it's the not the same thing he is angry about though." Josh said concerned.

"Ok thanks for that it helps a lot knowing that."

"What's going on then what happened?"

"Its ok Josh I will tell you the whole thing in the morning." Josh looked at his watch.

"It is morning."

"Josh go to bed get some sleep."

"Fine I want to hear about this ok."

"Yes later Josh go to bed." I stood up now Josh started to walk up the stairs.

"Annabel You coming to bed." Josh said as a joke.

"Yes hunny in a bit." She laughed at him. I glared at Josh for what he had said.

"Chill Frasier I was only joking." Josh walked up stairs and shut his door. Annabel looked at me confused.

"Frasier Do you think me and Josh are an item?"

"No of course not Annabel that would be silly." I looked away from Annabel wishing this conversation wasn't happening.

"You do don't you. Ha-ha Frasier don't worry Josh is like a brother to me. You don't have to worry about us. We might flirt a little but it means nothing." Annabel said finding it funny.

"Ok well I am glad that is cleared up. I said trying to look stupid so she wouldn't guess that Josh really did have feelings for her.

"You fool I cant wait to tell Josh this."

"Great." He will love that thanks."

"So what's going on with Ben?"

"Ohh Ben yes let's go and sort that problem out." Annabel jumped of the sofa and followed me into the kitchen.

"Hi Ben Good to see you again your looking hot in your suit I must say." Annabel said giving him the once over.

"Thanks Annabel Yes I would return the gesture um nice pj's." Ben said uneasy. Annabel went bright red.

"Yeah thanks." James was sitting down looking worried. He wanted to know what I wanted to tell Ben and what I had found out.

"So who was that guy looking at you strange?"

"Ben sit down I will explain everything to you."

"Frasier did you pull?" Annabel asked. James gave Annabel a dirty look. "Ohh do I need popcorn?" Annabel said excited it lightened the mood a little.

"Annabel calm down I didn't pull. You kind of know about it all." She looked confused.

"The scarf?" I said trying to jog her memory.

"Ohh yeah that." She wasn't as keen to know now.

"Right Ben the guy who was looking at me knew me when I was little. When I was with my real parents." I said the last part with anger in my tone having to mention them.

"Right ok who was he then?" Ben asked.

"I didn't recognise him at first but it clicked when he was looking at the people I was with he looked worried for them. He was a reporter looking for a story back then. He joined the cult my parents were in he didn't stick around for long if I rember rightly. I think they scared him off."

"Right ok so what was he doing at the party then?"

"Well Charles told me that Dr Alex liked to join all sort of clubs that her high class friends were into. He said it never lasted she always got board and moved on to the next one. Now I didn't recognise any of the other people that were in that little group. Did you see how they all kept together?" I asked.

"Yeah they did didn't they. So are they part of this cult then?" Ben asked confused.

"No I think Dr Alex stumbled in to this so called group claming to be the brotherhood. But they are not I could tell that a mile off."

"Hang on Frasier how do you know that there not part of it? What about the whole someone being in your house and the scarf?" Annabel interrupted.

"What I thought you said that Josh had got that wrong? And what scarf?" Ben asked completely confused now Ben kept looking at James to see if he was as confused as he was.

"Right ok Annabel I need to just explain that part to Ben. He didn't know that part."

"Sorry." Annabel said not knowing Ben was kept in the dark about that.

"That's ok. Ben ok the other day I found a scarf in the front room it looked like the same as the brotherhood wore."

"So that was the day Josh felt some one in the house?"

"Yeah that's right."

"Ok carry on then."

"Right ok as I was saying they are not the brotherhood. For one they wouldn't huddle together like that. You never would guess who was in the cult because they all socialised in different groups. If there was a party like tonight and all of them were there they would never show that they knew each other. They proberly would be introduced by other people but they would act like they didn't know each other. That's how I knew. They wouldn't be standing there as a group like they were. You see they liked to keep the pretence up its all about secrecy. The only time they would meet in a big group and show they know each other is when they are at there gatherings. And the second reason is the way Dr Alex behaved tonight. If she was part of the brotherhood she wouldn't have behaved like she had they wouldn't allow it."

"So they are not part of this cult then?" Ben asked not sure if he understood.

"No I don't think so I am certainly not worried about them."

"Ok what a bout the scarf then how did that appear?" Ben was still confused I think James understood what I was trying to say.

"Well I think one off them put it there. You get so many people pretending to be part of the brotherhood. Making things up as they go. I bet that the book Dr Alex has Had that logo in. They are trying to scare me as to say we know who you are?"

"What about this guy who recognised you he looked worried that we were with you why?" Ben asked starting to understand it all.

"I think he must have thought the real brotherhood was there. Seeing me Proberly reminded him of it."

"Yes that makes sense doesn't it if he thinks your part of this cult still. Then he would want to scare you to say I know who you are. But we haven't got to worry because you are not part of it." James said clearing it up for them both.

"Ok I think I get it. Ben said looking a little less worried.

Annabel do you get it?" I asked concerned.

"Yeah I think I get it. Your safe yes?"

"Yes I think so I am certainly not worried about it."

"Ok well if you think every thing will be ok then I am happy." Annabel said understanding it a lot more.

I was feeling a lot more relived now I bet Josh would be happy now to we could put this behind us a start to move on. I was glad we had gone tonight even though it was a disaster poor Jenny it was for the best she found out like she did she needed to be shocked I think. so she could wake up and see what Adam was really like.

"So was it a good night then apart from your discovery?" Annabel asked wanting to know about the evening.

"I will get some wine I think this is going to be a long one." I patted Ben on the back to say sorry Ben smiled a bit uneasy. I could tell bringing up Adam and Jenny was going to make him unhappy and angry. Ben had so much anger in him when it came to talking about his parents and what had been happening to poor Jenny. I think he was dealing with it well. I would have punched Adam on the spot. But I guess that would make me no better then his dad and men like Adam. I know Ben didn't want to be compared like them. He could never be like that. He had so much love in him when you got past the hurt and anger.

I poured every one a glass of wine. Ben really didn't look happy about talking about this. I looked at James un sure if we should actually bring it up if it was going to cause more heartache. Annabel was looking so keen to find out the gossip. She loved all the drama.

"It was an interesting night I really don't know were to start." I said trying to put Annabel off till later on in the day.

"It's ok Frasier you can tell her what happened." Ben said understanding why I was stepping round the subject.

"Are you sure Ben I don't want you to get angry I can see it has really hurt you?"

"It's fine I am use to the pain." Ben laughed trying to lighten the mood. Annabel looked over to Ben with heartache in her eyes. She hated it when she knew that someone had a bad upbringing or was still suffering for it. I could see the tears in her eyes. We hadn't even told her what had happened yet.

"Annabel you ok?" James asked as he could see she looked a bit upset.

"Yeah I think I have something in my eye I will be ok in a minute. I think if Annabel could she would adopt every one. if she felt like she could help them. She hated seeing people on there own or in pain. Even though she was on her own. She had us and her family but she didn't have some one she could go home to after a long day She would go back to an empty house I felt so bad for her.

"Ok well let's put it this way Dr Alex won't be so smug now." I said making Ben feel better about this whole situation.

"Why what Happened?" Annabel asked confused.

"Dr Alex was caught having sex with Jenny's Boyfriend" Ben said really angry he had his fists clenched on the table. Annabel could see the anger on Bens face.

"Ohh I see?" Annabel said not expecting to hear that.

"Yeah bit of a shocker. You don't expect that to happen at one of those high class events." James said loving that normal things do affect the rich.

"I know this sounds wrong but it is for the best. At least Jenny won't be with that low life he can't hurt her any more." I said trying not to upset Ben.

"Yes that's if she doesn't go back to him?" Ben said calming down now.

"Do you think she would go back to him after all he has done to her?" James asked not believing what Ben had just said.

"I don't know it's a funny thing love. It can make you do stupid things. It also depends on how long he has been beating her. If it's been years well she wouldn't know anything better. She would proberly forgive him and go back to him."

"Ben do you really think that?" James asked stunned.

"Yes I do I have seen it all before." Ben said looking like he was rembering his past.

"Well I think we should be strong for Jenny and try to help her through this. If she still feels like she Needs Adam well all I can say is that the damage is done. There would be nothing we can do about that. It's down to Jenny now to make the choice." I said trying to make Ben realise that if she did go back to him then Ben shouldn't blame himself it wouldn't be his fault.

"So Annabel how is work going then?" James asked trying to change the subject and to lighten the mood. Annabel was a bout to speak but Ben burst out laughing. Annabel and James looked at Ben stunned by his laughter not understanding were it came from. I knew what he was laughing at. James looked at me confused I was laughing a little now.

"Are we missing something?" James still not getting the Joke. I totally forgot that I hadn't told him.

"Yeah come on what's the joke?" Annabel asked now impatiently.

"Does she not rember then?" Ben asked me wondering why Annabel didn't get why he was laughing.

"Rember what?" Annabel was getting annoyed now.

"OK Annabel keep your knickers on." I said not meaning it to sound like a joke. Ben just started laughing again he couldn't stop now.

"Annabel dear you told Ben what your job was on your taxi ride home the other night do you not rember?" I asked her trying not to laugh.

"Did I? So what so funny about that then?"

"You told Ben that you were a prostitute." I couldn't help but laugh now. It took a second for it to click Annabel looked very embarrassed.

James was laughing so much he looks like he was going to cry.

"Yes very funny Ok so I might have had a bit to drink that night. So Ben I made a good first impression then?"

"Well I was a little shocked when you said it."

"So you know what I really do now then?" Annabel asked just to make sure Ben was clear about what she really did.

"Yes Frasier cleared it up for me the other day." Ben said starting to laugh again.

James hadn't stopped laughing. "Stop it please it hurts." James tried to say with fits of laughter he looked like he was going to fall of his chair.

"So that's what Josh meant then." She said to herself

"Said what?"

"He wanted to know how much I charged and he wouldn't tell me what he meant."

Ben looked at his watch.

"Ohh dear I should really think about going I have to work tomorrow or should I say today." Ben said not looking forward to that prospect.

"Ben you can stay here if you want to saves you going home on your own?" I asked thinking it wouldn't be a good idea if he was left alone he might decide to do something he would regret and I didn't want him getting hurt again. Because that's what would happen if he went to find Adam.

"I will be ok on my own I won't do anything stupid I promise." Ben replied knowing what I meant.

"Yeah Frasier is right. You might as well stay your here now." James said rather friendly. It took me by surprise I was so happy that James was actually trying I knew it was hard for him but I was very proud. James caught me looking at him I think he could tell how proud I was off him.

"Ben you can have the spare room if you like." Annabel said.

"Were are you going to sleep then?" I asked slightly confused to why she said that.

"I will go sleep in Josh's room Frasier." She said with a smile on her face. James gave me a worried glare. Annabel just started laughing at my reaction.

"I am only Joking Frasier."

"Yes very funny Annabel."

"James, Frasier thinks that I have a thing for Josh." Annabel said finding it very funny. James laughed with her so she wouldn't guess about what we really knew.

"Frasier why would you think that?" James asked Keeping up the pretence. He loved this.

"Any ways we need to sort out sleeping arrangements don't we?" I said to James to shut him up.

"Its ok I really don't mind going home." Ben said so we wouldn't start an argument.

"No its ok Ben there is a blow up bed in the spare room If Annabel doesn't mind sharing a room with you then you can fight it out between you. Who gets the bed and who gets the blow up bed?" James said reassuring Ben it was ok for him to stay.

"Yeah that's fine by me I don't mind sharing a room with a hot guy." Annabel said kidding around she was such a flirt. Ben looked a bit embarrassed I don't think he was use to people paying him complements.

"Hang on I thought I was the only hot guy round here?" James asked playing around.

"Ohh no you hotness number three." Annabel said laughing.

"What number three who is number one and two?" James said shocked mockingly.

"Well Josh is number one of course and Ben is number two that's why your number three."

"Well that's not on number three cant me and Ben be joint second?"

"Um no."

"What about me how come I am last?" I asked shocked.

"Well you are getting old now Frasier so you know I had to trade you in for a younger model."

"I am not that old and any way James is the same age as me?"

"Well actually James is younger then you because you have your birthday before his." Annabell put her hand infront of her mouth "Sorry I didnt think."

"Mmm Thats Ok." I said a bit touchy.

*Josh*

I couldnt rest Frasier's emmotions are all over the place he was worried and then Happy and now he is annoyed I cant sleep i need to go and see whats going on. I made my way down stairs to hear them in the kitchen I heard Annabels sweet voice how she made me feel alive even just hear her voice always put A smile on my face.

"Whats going on Guys?" I asked

"kid I thought I told you to go to bed?" Fraiser said trying to be the parent once again he always tried to be mother and father when he was annoyed about something I just sighed. I looked over to James who looked totaly out off it his eyes where Red it look like he had been crying but he didnt seem upset he looked happy I couldnt feel his emmotion any more shame.

"Are you drunk James?"

"No I have only had a couple." He said trying not to slur his words

"Ahh man these are the people who look after me somebody help me please."

"Don't worry Hunny I will look after you." How I wish she really would. she got up and came and huged me. i wsh she wouldnt play with my emotions like this.

"You're just as bad as them."I said joking to her. Annabel gave me a punch on the arm. So I messed up her hair.

"Right that's it" Annabel said to Me I decided now would be a good time to leave I started to run upstairs Annabel ran after me and into my bedroom. I stopped I was out of breath I tried to catch my breath. Annabel grabbed Me and flung me on the bed she jumped on top of me.

She grabbed My hands and held them above my head we were both out of breath and laughing. Then she just bent over and Just stared into my eyes we had stopped laughing now. I couldn't move I had been dreaming of this for so long. She let go of my hand and jumped of me. She sat at the end of my bed.

"Annabel Its ok." I said as I got up to sit next to her. Annabel turned round to me and looked into my eyes again.

"No it's not ok Josh I was out of line I shouldn't have done that. I am sorry." Annabel looked at the floor now.

"Annabel nothing happened." I said trying to reassure her it was ok. I wanted this so much but I knew it was wrong.

"Josh you know I love you don't you?" Annabel said still looking down at the floor.

"I know you do Annabel I can feel it. I love you to to like a sister." I said trying not break down this is what she needed to hear even though it was killing me.

"There can never be any thing more then that can there?" Annabel asked as she looked at me again. I had to be strong I knew how she really felt maybe better then what she did at the moment.

"No there cant."

This was breaking my heart it was for the best that's what I had to keep telling myself. It wasn't right it would never work out between us.

"That's a shame Josh I think we would have been good together but I guess your right." Annabel said a bit disappointed. She stood up and was a bought to leave Me

"Annabel if anything was to have happened it would have happened a long time ago I think the line has just got a bit fuzzy." I have to belive this I must belive this. Annabel walked back over to me.

"Yeah your proberly right Josh. All I can say is that who ever you fall in love with will be very lucky. I have been blessed to have been given the chance to be close to you because the love you show me gives me hope there is someone out there for me to.

Annabel walked out after kissing me on the cheek. I just sat there stunned by what had just happened.

I had closed the chapter on that part of my life it was time for me to move on and find the one person who was meant for me I hope there is someone out there for me.

*Fraiser*

Annabel walked into the kitchen now looking a bit upset. I looked at James a bit worried.

"Annabel what's up hunny. I asked concerned I hope Josh hadn't told her how he had felt.

"Nothing I am just tired ready for bed." She said with a forced smile.

"Ok If your sure Hun." I said not convinced.

"Ben are you coming up now or are you staying down here for a bit?"

"No I am ready for the airbed." Ben laughed.

"You can have the bed if you want I don't mind having the air bed?" Annabel said sounding a bit more like her old self.

"No its fine I love air beds." Ben said reassuring her that was ok with him.

"Right well now that's sorted I think we should all go to bed then." I said as I lifted my arms to yawn. Me and James followed Annabel and Ben up the stairs. Annabel showed Ben the way and she went back to say good night to Josh. I was in his room ready to ask him what had happened. Annabel left after saying night.

"What's going on?" I asked as there was an atmosphere.

"Let's just put it this way I know nothing will ever happen between me and Annabel." Josh said disheartened.

"Did you tell her?"

"No you know I would never do anything like that." Josh said shocked at what I had just said.

"Well something has happened?"

"Yeah something did happen and I told Annabel that I loved her like a sister. And nothing else.

"Ohh Josh why did you say that for?" I asked confused.

"Because it was the right thing to do nothing could ever happen between us. Its better we both know were we stand now."

"Yes but Josh If she was taking all the risks doesn't that tell you something?"

"No she is just confused about the way she feels at the moment that's all."

"How can you be certain Josh?"

"Trust me I know what I feel for her and it isn't the same way for her I can feel that."

"Are you sure you're not the one whose feelings are messed up?"

"No I am certain. Frasier. I know you are only looking out for me but it was the right thing to do. We can both move on now there will be no more tense situations now."

"Well if your shore Josh?" I said not convinced.

"Positive." Josh said with a smile on his face to show me he was ok.

It was early when I woke James was still a sleep I could hear someone down stairs so I decided I would get up. I was going to go into work today and sort out when I could go back in I had enough time off now I really wanted to get back to it. I got dressed and walked down stairs.

It was Josh who was making the noise down stairs. He had the radio on he was singing away happily.

"Well some one is happy this morning.

"Yes I am actually I feel very Happy." Josh said pleased with himself.

"Ok are you going to share or keep it to yourself?" I asked confused to why he was in such a good mood. I was expecting him to A bit sad for a while.

"Don't know just feel Happy." Josh replied smiling

"Right ok have you got any plans today?" It kind of took me by surprise how happy he seemed to be.

"No just hanging around here I guess. What are you doing?" Josh asked me handing me a cup of coffee.

"Thanks I am going to go into work today to see when I can go back." Annabel came down now still in her pj's she still looked half a sleep.

"Coffee Annabel." Josh asked in an upbeat voice it took Annabel by surprise I think.

"Erm yeah cheers Josh." Annabel looked a bit confused to why Josh was feeling so happy. I think she was expecting it to be difficult between them But Josh didn't want that so he carried on like nothing happened.

"There you are darling. Do you want breakfast?" Josh asked cheerfully.

"Ok what have you done with the real Josh were is he hiding?" Annabel asked Laughing.

"Yes very funny I can't help it if I am in a good mood." Josh said defending himself.

"Its not that I am shocked at. You are up before eleven O clock." Annabel laughed she had woken up a bit more now. I think she was feeling a lot happier that Josh wasn't being Funny with her. Annabel stood next to Josh.

"What are you cooking Josh?" Annabel asked.

"Pancakes." Josh said concentrating Annabel looked round to see if I was listening. Josh had been out to get a paper it use to be a tradition every Saturday Mum would make pancakes and dad would always go and get the paper. I was pretending to read the paper. Annabel looked back at Josh.

"Thanks for not being off with me Josh I really made a fool of myself last night." Annabel said ashamed.

"Annabel don't worry about it you did nothing wrong. Now go and sit down and I will bring some pancakes over for you." Annabel came and sat down next to me.

"Any thing good in the paper Frasier?" Annabel asked.

"No not a lot same old." I replied. Josh turned round now.

"Pancakes." Josh said in an up beat tone. Josh gave Annabel her's and then some to me.

"Do you want anything with them?" Josh asked.

"Do you have any maple syrup?" Annabel asked. Me and Josh laughed it bought back some old memories.

"What are you two laughing at?" Annabel asked. Josh got the syrup out of the cupboard and came and sat down.

"Mum always made us pancakes on Saturdays. I always asked for syrup but mum said I wasn't allowed. It will ruin your breakfast she would always say." Josh said rembering the good times.

"Yeah then Josh converted Sue he made her some pancakes for mother's day and fried some bacon and put maple syrup all over it. Sue didn't want to disappoint Josh because it was the first time he had cooked anything. You should have seen her face she was so shocked that he had come up with the idea off bacon and maple syrup. But when she tried it well that was it every Saturday it would be pancakes bacon and maple syrup." I sighed as I rembered them. Josh didn't look happy now.

"Frasier don't say that." Josh said angry.

"Say what I was just rembering the good times Josh I am sorry if It upset you." I said slightly concerned to why Josh had changed his mood.

"No you didn't say Mum Frasier you called her by her first name she was your Mum to." Josh said revealing why I had upset him.

"Josh I am Sorry I didn't mean to it just came out."

"Yes well just rember that they were your parents to." Josh sat there looking at his pancakes poking them. He looked over to Annabel who didn't know what to say to ease are pain.

"Yeah the shop didn't have any bacon left." Josh said to change the subject. Josh laughed now and looked back at Annabel.

"Ohh Annabel You are funny." Josh said as he started to eat his pancakes.

I looked at Josh confused.

"Annabel is feeling guilty she isn't sure if she should eat the pancakes she doesn't want to upset us." Josh said revelling what he had felt.

"Well Annabel tuck in they will get cold otherwise and our mum wouldn't have been happy with you if you left any on your plate." I said to ease the atmosphere.

"Yes that's better." Josh said he resumed back to his cheerful mood. Ben walked in to the kitchen.

"Good morning every one." Ben said as he walked in.

"Hi Ben did you sleep ok?" I asked

"No not really." Ben said standing by the door looking sad.

"Ben come and sit down." Josh said to make him feel a little bit more welcome. Josh seemed tense now I guess that was due to Ben.

"Are you going in to work?" I asked concerned He really didn't look like he should go in.

"Yeah I better go in I don't think Jenny or Dr Alex will be in so no choice really." Ben said a bit lighter now.

"Well I want to go in and sort out when I can come back. I will give you a lift in if you like?"

"Yeah that would be great thanks are you sure you don't mind?" Ben asked.

"No it ok I can't wait to get back to work sitting around here is driving me crazy."

"Yeah you're missed at work it's not the same there with out you." Ben said excited that I was coming back.

"What time do you start?"

"Eleven I am only on a short shift today finish at Six I hope we are busy take my mind of things."

"What are you going to do?" Annabel asked she felt sorry for Ben and she could see the hurt in Josh's eyes he was being very quite.

"What do you mean?" Ben said not understanding the question.

"Well are you going to fight for your princess or are you going just give up and lose her?" Annabel asked dreaming of her prince charming. She looked at Josh who was laughing at what she had just said.

"It all depends on her I guess." Ben said sounding unsure about there future.

"Ohh please Ben." Annabel said annoyed she was all about fairytales and happy endings. She hated it when people were ready to give up before they even started. Especially when they could do something about it. Annabel looked over to Josh who was looking out of the window trying not to laugh. He didn't believe in all the fairytale stuff.

"Josh does Ben love Jenny?" Annabel asked. Josh looked at Annabel pretending not to hear what she had said.

"Does Ben love Jenny?" She asked again.

"Ohh sorry I wasn't listening." Josh looked over to Ben who looked slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah he does but he isn't sure about something?" Josh looked a little worried now.

"What are you not sure about Ben?" Annabel asked confused to why Josh had said that last bit.

"Erm It's stupid really." Ben replied a bit uneasy.

"Go on what is it?" Annabel liked to push it sometimes.

"I am scared I will end up like my father." Ben said with hurt in his voice. Annabel wasn't expecting that.

"Ben you don't have to worry about that Trust me on that one." Josh said reassuring him.

"How do you know that? One little thing and that could be it. I could just snap and I won't be able to stop." Ben was really worried about this.

"Ben you really have nothing to worry about I can feel that you are angry about your past but that's all. You do know that is proberly what is stopping you from moving on and starting a proper relationship. I bet you have had a few relationships were they have tried to get close.

But you haven't let them because you are scared of snapping and hurting them. Your personality isn't like that." Josh said with meaning.

"Yes but how do you know I wont snap how can you be certain?" Ben asked intrigued by what Josh was saying.

"Everyone has a set personality you can't hide it and you certainly can't change it. You look confused Ben I am not explaing this very well am I. Ok I will give you an example. Ok say you have just met me for the first time. Right you know if your going to like me or not from that first meeting. Because it's my personality that comes through. You make the choice from that if you are going to like me or not. So there is no way you can alter that. That's how I know because your personality isn't violent. It's cautious but very caring actually you don't hide who you are and that's a good thing. Some people are a bit strange you don't know if you will like them because they don't show there personality. They are the ones when you first meet them and you are cautious off them. It's when you think hang on I don't know if I can trust you there is something about you I don't get. And some people are drawn to violent and angry people. But the violent and angry people don't hide who they are they are usually the most open people you will find it's a bit weird. Does that make more sense?" Josh asked.

"Yeah it does kind off. So is that why I didn't like Adam the first time I met him then? Because of whom he is?" Ben asked slightly confused.

"Yeah you proberly picked it up a bit better then any else. Because you are use to that personality with your dad being the way he is.

"Right and you're saying my personality isn't like my fathers." Ben asked excited Josh laughed. "The penny has dropped." Josh said amused and proud of himself Ben had a smile on his face I think what Josh had said had clicked and made Ben feel a little bit better.

"You had all that counselling and one session with me and I have cured you." Josh said laughing.

"Have you had counselling Ben?" Annabel asked feeling bad for him.

"Yeah I did. Years of it. How did you know that Josh?"

"People who have had counselling feel a little different about things. Just a bit more cautious how they feel about certain things it's nothing bad don't worry." Josh said Ben looked worried.

"Is that why you didn't stay in counselling then Frasier?" Ben asked amazed at all this.

"No I didn't like it maybe I just had the wrong person."

"No what Frasier's problem was that they were trying to make him forgive his real parents but they didn't know the real story. Our mum and dad told them that he had just been dumped on there door step with a note." Josh said clearing it all up for me. It was a touchy subject my past.

"Anyway it was never my idea to go into counselling I was pushed into it." I replied a bit off hand. Josh gave me a glare and looked at my arms they had started to burn. Annabel and Ben looked over to me now by the sudden silence.

"Frasier why are you feeling angry for?" Josh asked.

"I just didn't agree with the whole pushing me into counselling thing."

"So you are angry with mum and dad for that? You were an angry little boy back then. They didn't know what to do with you." Josh said now trying to understand this sudden anger he was feeling from me.

"No I am not angry with them Josh. How could I be they took me in and looked after me. I am just angry with myself because I blamed them for making me go and see that guy every week. I knew it wasn't going to help me and then when he tried to make me forgive Arabella and Isaac well that was it I couldn't go there any more." I was getting very annoyed with myself now.

"Sorry who are Arbela and Isaac?" Ben asked.

"They were my real parents." I said with hate for them.

"Yeah ok frais can we change the subject now you are really starting to hurt me." Josh said rubbing his arms.

"Sorry Josh." I tried to think of something else so the burning would stop.

"Well all I can say is what you can do is amazing Josh you really do have a unique gift. Have you thought about doing it as a job Josh?" Ben was very impressed with Josh.

"No I don't think I could do it hearing all there problems and feeling them to I think it would be too much for me. If I got some one in I couldn't read that would frustrate me. I don't like the people I can't read I always feel they are hiding something from me." Josh explained.

"So did you not like James when you first met? Because you said you couldn't read James" Ben asked intrigued.

"James was different I knew his brothers and lets just say that they were not supportive of James and who he was and is. So that's why he is guarded he is just protecting himself from being hurt." Josh revealed.

Ben was just amazed by all this I think if he could he would spend hours talking about this with Josh. Well hopefully Josh could help him get over his past and move on and start a good relationship with some one special. I just wasn't sure if Jenny was right for him now I think she had a long way to go until she could trust or to get close to anyone again.


	10. Chapter 10

_chapter 10_

A couple of hours passed Josh had made more pancakes for Ben. James was still in bed. I decided to get ready for work . Ben said he had a change of cloths at work so he didnt need to go home untill later on when he finished work. Annabel had gone back upstairs to get changed she borrowed A t-shirt of Josh. It looked baggy on her but good old Annabel could pull anything off she was very creative she had an eye for things. She should really go in to design she would make loads of money doing that. But try telling Annabel what she could do was no good she wouldnt belive you she didnt belive in herself very much.

"Looking hot Annabel give us a twirl." Josh said when she came back down stairs.

"Well I do try." Annabel replyed in a diva voice."

"Ha you dont need to try you always loook stunning." I said to boost her confidence.

"Thanks." Annabel said embarsed not beliving what we were telling her it really wound me up when she wouldnt listen.

"Right Ben are you ready to go in?" I asked as time was getting on.

"Yeah I am ready when you are."

"Right Annabel what are you doing today?" I asked not sure if i would see her when i came back.

"Well if Josh doesnt mind I will just hang round here if thats ok?" Annabel asked not sure if she was pussing it.

"Yeah fine by me I am not doing any thing grand today." Josh said pleassed that Annabel wanted to stay with him.

"Well thats that sorted I will see you when I get back then. Annabel gave Ben a hug goodbye.

"Ohh when James decideds to get up will you tell him were I have gone." I asked Josh.

"Yeah no probs I will tell him you have run away with Ben." Josh said laugthing.

"Not Funny Josh." I said trying not to Laugth. We walked out after Ben saying good bye to Josh.

"I get why James was a bit off with me when we first met." Ben said understanding why he did that.

"Yeah I told him he was being stupid but I think he really likes you now."

"Yeah I think so to he is a good guy James." Ben saying his approvel. Ben wasnt looking foward to going into work. It was going to be tougth for him every one trying to find out what happend last night. Being nosey when it was none of there buisness.

We arrived at work we signed in Ben went to go and get changed. I walked on to the ward to my suprise Dr Alex was here.

she saw my stunned face and started to walk over to me. Great I thought.

I walked into my office if she was going to start something then I wanted it to be in private. Then hopefuly Ben would find out that she was here by the nurses.

There was A letter on my desk it was from Dr Jones welcoming me back. It said that we needed to have a meeting when I came back things need to change. I unlocked the draw and put the letter in there as I shut the draw Dr Alex came in to my office.

Dont knock then I thought to myself. She looked diffrent today she wasnt wearing any makeup. she was showing her age black bags under her eyes. Good I hoped she was suffering.

"Dr O'Neil I wasnt expecting you here today." She said in a soft voice it stunned me Did she even know how to be nice? She was just standing in the door way.

"Dr Alex I think it would be best if you come in and shut the door please." I sounded really harsh. But how did i Know this could just be an act and any way she had bought it all on herself. She came and sat down on the chair I wasnt on planning to sit down I wanted to keep watch out for Ben.

"So did you enjoy yourself Lastnight at the party?" She asked ashamed.

"Well it was a diffrent lets put it that way." I couldnt be nice to her why should i. Ben walked on to the ward he was about to walk upto my office when he saw who was in here with me. He stopped for a minute shocked that she was here. Ben smilled at me he knew this was a bit difficult for me to and walked off on to the ward.

"Yes I have been very stupid." She replyed.

"I am sorry Dr Alex but I really dont see how this concerns me. Last time I looked we were not friends and never have been so i dont see why you are in here trying to get me to feel sorry for you. Beacuse I dont you bought this on yourself. You had everything A rich husband a wonderful life style and you go and take the little thing that Nurse Pool had and ruin it for her. She doesnt have a grand house or have a huge wage packet that you do. She is just a Nurse who does not earn enougth for what she does in my opinion and you take her boyfriend from her.

Yes maybe he was a nasty person but thats not the point is it. You saw something she had and you had to have it didnt you.

What i dont understand is why you felt like you needed to do that for. When you had it so good?" I was shouting now all the nurses were staring.

Ben must of heard me he was walking over to see what was happening. Ben didnt come in he just waited outside ready to step in if needs be.

"Well I am glad you didnt hold back there Frasier thats one thing i admire about you. Every one around here is being so kind but not you.

You say what you think." She said shocked that I was talking to her like that.

"I am not doing it for your benefit Dr Alex, Its my honest opinion." Ben looked over to some one who had walked on to the ward Ben smiled at me and walked off trying to look busy. All the nurses did the same. Dr Jones walked up to the nurses station the nurse on shift pointed to my office. Dr Alex looked round to see what I was looking at.

"Ohh no here goes." She said not looking foward to what was about to happen. Dr Jones knocked on the door and walked in he left the door open as it was getting cramped now I was still standing with my arms folded. Dr Alex was still sitting down looking at the floor looking ashamed. Dr Jones didnt look happy with Dr Alex as he looked at her Then he looked upto me.

"Dr O'Neil can I just apolgise I didnt get to speak with you last night I hope I didnt offend you?" Dr Jones said with meaning

"Thats ok Dr Jones I wasnt offended." I said reasuring him I wasnt angry with him.

"Yes good to hear Dr O'Neil. Did you recive my letter.?" Dr Jones said as he looked around to see if he could find it.

"Yes I did thats why I am here to sort out when I can come back to work." I said excited by the prospect of it.

"Good good well If you are free for half hour I would like to borrow you. we have a lot to talk about." Dr Jones said as he looked at Dr Alex.

"Yes I have no plans today."

"Great Well if you dont mind would it be possibble if I could borrow your Office for ten minutes I just need to talk to Dr Alex."

"Yes of course I will leave you to it."

"Thank You Dr O'Neil I will come and find you when Iam done here."

"Yes I will be on the ward covering Dr Alex while you talk to her." I said as I walked out Giving her glare.

"Ohh thank you thats very concederete of you." Dr Jones said very happy with me. Dr Alex didnt like that for a secound I saw the old Dr Alex come back. I shut the door behind me and decided I would go and find Ben.

Ben was getting himself a cup of tea from the kitchen.

"So that was a suprise I wanst expecting her to be here." Ben said as I walked in to the kitchen.

"Yeah well I have had a word with her so she knows how I feel about what she did."

"I Know I heard you shouting at her I was very amused when Dr Jones walked on to the ward looking for her."

"Yes well I just cant belive that she is here thinking that everyone is going to feel sorry for her what kind of plannet is she living on." I said annoyed by her.

"Plannet Alex by the sounds of it." Ben said laugthing Then suddenly Charles Alex III poped his head around the door. I should of expected it were ever Dr Jones was charles was by his side. it made me jump.

"Sorry Dr O'Neil I didnt mean to make you jump." Charles said

"No thats ok I just didnt expect to see you here today." I said shocked that he was here.

"Yes well If life isnt going your way you have work to look foward." He said in an upbeat tone. Ben laugthed at his point of view it made sense really.

"Would you like a cup tea or coffee?" Ben asked. Charles walked in to our kitchen and looked around at what we had. a basic kettle that was it.

"No coffee machine how do you boys servive." He said astounded that we didnt have a machine.

"Its called instant coffee Charles." Ben replyed cheekely. I looked over to ben confused he wasnt normaly this talkative around the medical cheifs.

"Well that's going too have to change you cant live off that rubbish. I actully thought they had stopped making that stuff." Charles said shocked I dont think he was even Jokeing. We both laugthed at what he was saying.

"Yes the reason why i am down here I knew you were on shift today I just wanted to see if you were ok Dr Jackson." Charles asked concerned for him.

"I am fine thank you Charles." Ben said a bit confused to why he had come all the way down here to ask that.

"Ahh good chap chin up and all that." Charles said happily.

"How are you doing Charles?" I asked stunned by how kind he was being. we really didnt know him we only knew him as Dr Alex's husband.

"Yes well I have years of wisdom on relashionhips. Well yes it's going to be tougth time for the both of us. But she decided to take that path of batrayle and yes its a shame. But you have to look foward to life and the next adventure it takes you on." Charles said full of wisdom.

"Well thats one way of looking at it." Ben said stunned by his strenth.

"Yes it helps to keep positive Dr Jackson I am sure Nurse Pool Is very upset at the moment. You need to be strong for her to help her through this." Charles said giving Ben advice.

"Me and Nurse Pool are not an item." Ben said thinking Charles had got his wires crossed.

"Ohh I know that but I have seen the way you two are together. its very magical Be patient Dr Jackson you will win her over I am sure of it." Charles said certin.

"Well thank you Charles." Ben said a bit stunnned that he was talking to Charles about relationships.

"Yes well we have one thing to thank my Wife no sorry let me correct that my ex wife for. All the damage she has done but it will all work out for the best Iam sure." It kind of scared me a little Charles seemed like he knew what was going to happen maybe i was being paranoid but it spooked me.

Dr Jones came and found us.

"Well this is were you are hiding Charles." Dr Jones said amused that he was in our kitchen.

"Martin did you know they use Instant coffee down here?" Charles asked still shocked and to say it was wrong for us to use it.

"No I didnt Know that Charles shocking stuff." Dr Jones said mocking him.

"Yes well I want a coffee machine down here as soon as possible. I cant belive the poor staff here have been treated like this." Charles said making plans to were to put it.

"Right ok Well now are little problem is sorted we can have are meeting today. Dr O'Neil is free today so we can discuss are new plans." Dr Jones said to charles.

"Great well shall we go and discuss the changes then?" Charles said in a upbeat voice. It really had taken me by suprise how Charles was taking all this I know he loved her very much they had been together a long time which suprised me when i found that out she certainly did not love him she was in it for the money and the life style. I guess he had worked that out maybe thats why he didnt seem that bothered.

i waved goodbye to Ben who was about to start the rounds.

Dr Alex was walking are direction she wasnt looking up and she bumped in to Charles.

"Well excuse me." She said in her nasty tone. She looked up she didnt realise who she had bumped into. She thought is was just a nurse or a patient.

"So thats how you talk to people is it?" Charles asked not very happy by her attitude. He had his arms crossed now.

"No of course not Charles." She said trying to sound sorry.

"Martin sort this out." Charles said as he walked off.

"Yes certainly Charles Dr O'Neil if you wouldnt mind following Charles I will be there In a moment." I just did as I was asked I didnt want to get involved in all of this i was here to do my job and thats what i wanted to do help people. we walked into Dr Jones office well it was Charles office to but Dr Jones used it more then Charles. Charles office was at the golf course thats were he was if he wasnt here.

"Right come on in Dr O'Neil make yourself at home." Charles said as he sat down at his desk. There office was huge it had great views outside. the art work on the walls were amazing. I bet Josh would have liked these it was his kind of style of art lots of colours which had meaning.

"Do you like art Dr O'Neil?" Charles asked as he had seen me looking at them.

"Well not really I dont understand it not like my Brother he loves art." I replyed getting a closer look at them.

"Yes thats I rember you telling me"

"He is at college studying art But what he draws is amazing stuff but he doesnt think it's that good." I dont know what it was about Charles I could really open up to him.

"Does he have a porfolio?" Charles asked intragued.

"He has all his work on him yes but I dont think he has put together as such."

"Well I would like to see some more of his work you seem very proud off him?"

"Yes I am he has had it tougth." I said thinking about How proud I was of him.

"Yes of course I heard about your parents accident. It can be hard to carry on when you lose the people you love. Especialy when it is so unexpected. I was married Before I met Sarah. My wife died to young to but she had a brain tuma so it was expected when she past away.

And still to this day i do some thing or smell something and all my memories come flooding back." Charles said looking out of the window.

"Ohh I didnt realise Charles I am sorry to hear that." I said trying to ease his pain.

"Yes well thats all in the past now no point in dragging it all up." Charles said looking at me it looked like he was blocking out the memories. Dr Jones came in to the office now.

"Sorry Dr O'Neil for keeping you shall we start?" Dr Jones said pointing to a chair. I went to sit down they both looked serious about something.

"Right ok well the reason we have called this meeting with you today is to sort out when you will be ready to return back to work." Charles asked

"Well I am ready to come back now." I said excited to get back.

"Great its so good to see you so infuseastic about your work." Dr Jones said.

"Yes well I like to help people." I replyed.

"We can see that in your work Dr O'Neil and thats what this hospital needs doctors like you. I must say Dr Jackson is certainly starting to impress me he is hard working he really looks up to you Dr O'Neil you are a good mentoir." Dr Jones said with passion in his voice.

"Well thank you I am glad I am doing the right thing. Yes for Dr Jacksons he is a very good doctor we are lucky to have him here." I said very proud of him he had come a long way.

"So when do you want to come back then?" Charles asked.

"The sooner the better." I replyed.

"Right ok well how about tomorrow?" Dr Jones asked.

"Yes sounds good to me." I said very happy about that.

"Well great tomorow it is. We know you mainly do the night shifts we want to change that if thats ok with you? we would rather like you to be doing the day shifts with Dr Jackson. Dr Alex will be doing the evening shifts from now on." Dr Jones said pleased that I wanted to start so soon.

"Right ok well I havent got a problem with that but I cant see Dr Alex being happy about it?" I asked.

"Yes well Dr Alex is walking on thin ice so she has to be very careful one foot out of line and that it she will be gone." Dr Jones said with hatred for her. I just smilled At that last comment I didnt want to get in involved in all of it.

"Right ok well I think we are all done here now." Dr Jones said as he looked at his watch.

"Well seeing as we are done early we should go and have a round of golf what do you say old chap?" Charles asked Dr Jones.

"Yes good thinking Charles."

"Do you want to Join us Dr O'Neil" Charles asked me.

"Sorry No but thank you for the invite. Golf really isnt my thing. Any way I have some paper work to catch up on before I start to tomorow.

"Ohh well your loss Dr O'Neil it's a good game." Dr Jones said shocked that I didnt like Golf.

"So you dont like art and you dont like golf what are you into?" Charles asked confused.

"I really havent got hobbie I have never had time for it." I said trying to make me look normal.

"Yes well you should really take time to take up a hobbie." Charles said.

"I will have to think about that one." I said laugthing. I got up and shook Dr Jones and charles hand to say good bye and thank you. As I was about to walk out Charles called after me.

" Dr O'Neil would you like to take this for your brother you seemed to be attached to this one." Charles asked.

"Ohh no Charles its to much I can not except that." I said amazed by his kindness. He was offering the painting I was looking at earlier.

" No dont be silly Dr O'Neil you can replace it for me with a drawing from your brother." Charles said seeming intreasted in Josh's art work.

"Josh is a very good artist but it might not be your thing Charles it's very diffrent from your usall artist." I said concerned that he wouldnt get Josh's art work.

"Well I think I will like it if it is any thing like the art work I saw on your partners cast very beautiful." Charles said knowing he would like it.

"Well he will love this I am sure. Thank you charles I will ask him to do something special for you."

"Thank you Yes I need a change of art iam getting a bit boared of these paintings." Charles said as he looked round at them

.I walked out with the painting and went to put it in my car. I walked back on to the ward to look for ben to tell him about how impreased Charles and Dr Jones were of his progress He needed to hear something positve maybe it would make him feel a little better. he certainly wasnt the luckiest person I knew. Ben and Dr Alex looked like they had there hands full with a regular patient who semmed to be in here a lot of the time not due to his own fault but down to other people letting him down. I waved over to ben just to let him know i was back . I walked into my office to sort out my paper work and get ready for my shift to start tomorow. Ten minutes passed by i had finished what i needed to do Ben knocked on the door and walked in.

"Hi Ben I see Jude is back in again keeping you busy?" I said knowing he could be a handful.

"Yes he hasnt been taking his meads thats why he is back in. I just cant belive social services they are rubbish." Ben said annoyed.

"Why what have they done now?" I asked knowing how rubbish they were.

"Well judes carer has gone on holiday and they havent bothered to replace her whille she is away so jude thought it would be ok not to take his meads and well i wont say what he had done. all i will say is when the police bought him in he was naked.

"Ohh no poor jude they are allways letting him down he is such a nice guy when he is on his meadication. Do you want me to ring social services for you and give them a peice of my mind." I asked I knew Ben was going to be very busy and thats the last thing he needed is to stuck on the phone to them all afternoon.

"No Its ok Dr Alex is on it suprisingly." Ben said shocked that she was helping.

"Well what Dr Jones said must of shocked her and feels like she has to behave now."

"So what did they say to you then?" Ben asked as he sat down intreigued to what was happening

"It was a bit weird actully. Charles gave me a painting to give to Josh."

"Right ok thats a bit odd?" Ben said with a confused look on his face.

"Yeah he said he liked what was on James plaster cast and wants Josh to paint him something. He said he was boared with what he had now."

"Ha-ha what it is like to be rich." Ben said amused by it all.

"Ohh before i forget they wanted me to tell you how very impreased they are with you they said your doing an excalent job."

"Wow really its good to know iam doing something right." Ben said shocked but happy by the news. Dr Alex walked into my office didnt even bother knocking it really annoyed me that she felt like she didnt need to knock like it was her office.

"Yes Dr Alex can I help you?" I asked annoyed at her.

"I just wanted to let you know Dr Jackson that they are going to send a new carer down for jude. Sorry if I inturpted you Dr O'Neil."

Dr Alex said in a soft apoligtic tone. Dr Alex left and closed the door I was stunned. was this the real Dr Alex or was it just A mask. Ben was laugthing at me now.

"I bet you feel bad now dont you?" Ben said winding me up.

"I do actuly do you think i should go and apologise to her?" I asked not sure what to do.

"No defantly not its proberly just a mask I bet she needs every one on her side at the moment. give it time she will return back to her normal horrible self." Ben said knowing he couldnt trust her.

"Yeah your proberly right ben."

"Well I better get back to it are you going to here long?" Ben asked.

"No I am just about done I think. i am going to take some of this home and work on it there."

"Ok then. when do you come back then?"

"Tomorow I cant wait" I said excited.

"Great i am on tomorow what shift you on?" Ben asked.

"Day shift suprisingly."

"Really excellant well I am on the day too." Ben said happy about that.

"Well i will see you then Ben."

"Yes say hi to james and josh ohh and to annabel if she is still there."

"Yes I will ben have a good shift wont you."

"Will do see you frasier." Ben walked out on to the ward I finished what i was doing and left I didnt bother saying good bye to Dr Alex I was still very mad with her.


	11. Chapter 10 part 2

I had to hand it Dr Alex she did me a favour there was no way Jenny would have left that creap how dare he hurt my girl ok maybe she is not my girl but thats not the point she is a women and does not deserve that kind of abuse no women does why do they take it dont see the attraction my mother is the same bends over backwards for him just to be hit stupid so stupid.

"Dr Jackson hello are you in there hello" I snaped out of my thoughts and critsing myself which i do so much there i go again.

"Sorry i was on a diffrent planet."

"Was it nice?" Ok is this nurse flirting with me i never get it when women do this play with the hair and shake there head side to side i wish they would just say i like you but no they do all this confusing stuff.

"Hello Are you back on your planet?"

"Ha no erm Sorry i have a lot on my mind. Did you want to talk to me about something?" The nurse looked over to Dr Alex then back to me.

"Yeah I heard what happened with Jenny I tried to call her but she didnt answer I dont suppose you have spoken to her have you?"

"No I havent spoken to her since last night." i looked down to the floor with the horrible memory of last night

"So its true then?"

"It depends on what has been said?" Great the rumours have started already how do I deal with this.

The nurse looked like she was ready to go on and on about what she had heared and wanted to know what was true this was suppose to be Jenny friend she shouldnt be gossiping like this but i am kind of intregued to hear what has been said ok listen ben nod and listen i can do this. She has stoped why has she stoped for I look to where she is starring. Ohh Jenny what is she doing here she looks terrible has she even slept she shouldnt be here.

"Excuse me I just need to talk to Nurse Pool." I called after jenny she ignored me what the hell is she doing here. I ran up to her and grabed her arm she seemed stunned as she looked at me

"Dr Jackson Hello I wasnt expecting you in today?" Jenny said sounding a bit shakey but trying to act normal I realsed my grip from her.

"Jenny what are you doing here you should be at home not here?"

"I am here to do my Job Dr Jackson why wouldnt i be here?"

"I dont think we should do this here lets go somewere quiet?"

"Whats the problem Iam here to work." Then Dr Alex bodly walks up to Jenny.

"Nurse Pool." Her tone is cold back to normal then. Jenny glares at her and carries on walking i follow after her.

"Thats why you shouldnt be here and Beacause of what happend last night or have you tottaly forgotten about that?" I was starting to think maybe it had taken it's toll on her and that she was having some sort of break down.

"I am ok I just want to move on and forget about the whole thing."

"Well I think your crazy you shouldnt be here Jenny."

"I am going to go and get changed and start work." jenny walked off to the changing rooms i stayed close behind her.

Jenny had a hold on the door ready to go and get ready she just looked down at the floor. I leaned againt the wall ready to wait for her and try and think of a way to stop her.

"Jenny I dont think you should be here please can you not just go home?" i pleaded one last time She walkes over to me she is standing so close to me that its starting to make me shake great iam such a girl she has never been this close before.

"Jenny please this isnt a good idea." This is wrong very wong timeing i really want this but no it cant happen not now.

"Ohh come on Dr Jackson you know you want this more then anything." She said as she stroked my face. I grabbed her hand. anger running through me that smell that horrible stale smell how could she. i couldnt look at her i still had hold off her hand i didnt want to let go off it.

"Jenny have you been drinking?" She pulled away from me and I let her hand drop.

"So What if I have had a little drink theres nothing wrong with that." I still couldnt look at her All the bad memories came flooding back i had to take a deep breath and supres this anger and hurt i was feeling.

"Jenny I am ordering you to go home." I said still feeling Angry.

"What if i dont want to?" She was certainly stunned by my change off mood. I looked up to Jenny now Iam sure she could see the hurt in my eyes. she made her way back to me standing to close again the smell it made me feel sick.

"Jenny please dont."

"Its ok Ben I want to take your pain away."

"Jenny if you dont leave I will have to report you for being drunk on shift." I cant belive I have to do this. once again Jenny pulled away she looked very angry not an atractive quality.

"I will lose my Job if you do that?" She shouted.

"Well go home then you can not work in this state."

"Fine thanks alot for the support Dr Jackson very helpful." Tears were welling up in her eyes. I want to help her so much but not if she is going down that road I cant I refuse to put myself on the line again.

Dr Alex came down the corridor great.

"Ohh are you not staying Nurse Pool?" Dr Alex said in her new soft tone of voice. Jenny looked like she wanted to punch her.

"No Nurse Pool isnt feeling very well. she thought she would be ok. I have told her to go home and sleep it off." I stepped in to say before Jenny could speak. Jenny gave me an awquard smile to say thank you I think for not dumping her in it. Jenny walked off now leaving an atmosphere.

"Sorry Dr Jackson But I am leaving now. I have been told I am doing the night shift to now so they are sending a Temp doctor over untill I get back. I thought I would let you know about the changes." Dr Alex said. I wasnt really listening to her I am to busy watching Jenny walk off.

"Right ok Fine." I said still feeling angry I really dont care if she is here just looking at her makes me even more mad if that is possible at the moment We both walked back on to the ward. One of the nurses was talking to some people who were waiting by the nurses station.

"Ahh Dr Jackson Dr Alex there you both are could you come and talk to these people. I have told them they can not just admit there son. but they are not listening to me just because they have lots off money they think they can just speak to us like we are there slaves." The staff nurse said arms folded slightly annoyed.

"Do you want me to stay untill the Temp doctor arives Dr Jackson?" Dr alex asked.

"No I will handle this you go home." Iam glad of the distraction.

"Ok If your sure?" Dr Alex sounded unsure.

"Yes." I snapped back.I really didnt want to be in the same room as her right now. Jenny was hurting and there is nothing I can do about it.

"Hello My name is Dr Jackson can I help at all?"

"Well it's about time we got to speak to a doctor." The gentleman said very harshly.

"I am sorry about the wait but Iam sure the nurses have been looking after you to there best abillity they desrve a little more respect then you seem to give them." I said annoyed by these two parents.

"Yes I must apolgise for my husband he is very upset. If it seems like he was being rude then we are sorry." The lady said in a sympapetic voice.

"Shall we go through to the relatives room?"

"Can I get you a cup of tea or coffee?"

"No we are ok." The gentleman said as he answed for his wife to. I knoded to the nurse and she left and closed the door.

" would you like to take a seat. what can I do for you?"

"We would like to admit our son." the Lady said.

"Ok have you been to see your local Gp?"

"No we were told that we could just come here." The lady said a bit unsure.

"Right well we normally dont admit people with out GP review. But seeing as you are here I can do one now and take it from there if you like?" Ok Iam annoyed they think they can just dump there son and leave. As I walked out i could hear the man having a go at his wife.

Great this is all I need I do not trust this man he is to domenant. I made my way back as fast as I could.

"Ok well I havent asked your names so if we start there?"

"My name is Edmund Cartwright and this is my wife Sophia." He answed back ratherer cruley as I was expected to know who they were.

"Ok and who are you?" I asked the young man who was othersly there son. He didnt answer me he just kept his head low. Ok this is a bit odd withdrawn i noted down.

"This is Riley our son." Sophia said. I looked at Riley for a little whille just observing him he was fidiling with his hands he seemed very withdrawn and quiet. Edmund seemed annoyed about how long this was taking sophia seemed very concerned constanly looking at riley then to her husband

"why do you think you are here Riley?" Riley didnt answer. which i expected

"Riley has not been himself latley we just dont know what to do with him." Sophia answed certainly worried about his behaviour. Riley just shook his head disagreeing with what his mother was saying.

"Is that true Riley?"

"Of course it is true are you calling my wife a lier?" Edmund snapped at me how am i suppose to do my job with his father butting in every five secounds breathe Ben breathe yes I wanted a distraction but not this kind no one deseves to be talked to like this.

"No I was not accusing your wife of anything Mr Cartwright. I am just trying to asses Riley and see what is going on in his head thats all." why do I have to defend myself to him i wish he would just leave we would proberly get more from riley if he did leave. maybe i will demand this see how he likes that.

"Yes of course you are Dr Jackson I must apolgise once again for my husbands reaction. we have had to make a tougth decison to do this." Sophia said apollgising again. she was doing this alot apolgising for his tone she shouldnt.

"Riley do you think you need to be here?" I asked not certin if he actully did. Edmund did not look amused.

"Riley answer the Doctor." Sophia said very motherly.

Riley looked up now and it shocked me I had to catch my breath Riley had One blue eye and one green. He was wearing eye make up there was a patten on his right side of his eye. it was actuly magical I wasnt expecting that. he finaly spoke...

"No I dont think I need to be here this is all so stupid." Riley said sounding not happy by his parents choice.

"Riley how dare you say that you dont know what your talking about we know what is best for you?" Edmund snaped back.

"I...I I I was just anwsering the doctors question." Riley sounded scared that he was standing up to his father. This is it i want him out off here he isnt helping one little bit.

"This is why we want him admited he is not our son, our son does not dress like this. He doesnt wear eyeliner and paint pattens on his contacts he is wearing it is all wrong our son would never rebel like this. it is the demons in his head telling him to disabay us and making him look like this." Edmund said shouting and pointing to his son. before I could step in Riley stood up.

"So I am not your son now? This is me dad this is who I am. Why cant you all see that?" Riley said he seemed very upset.

"Thats not all though Riley is it dear. Dr Jackson Riley has been having some strange turns." Sophia said looking at Riley concerned she held her hand out to Riley to comfort him.

"WHAT I DONT KNOW ABOUT THIS HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME WOMEN?" Edmund snapped at her.

"Iam sorry but shouting isnt going to help your son so please if you can not calm down I will have to ask you to leave." See how you like that mr Cartwright.

"This is not my son." Edmund now said flat with no feeling.

"This is them doing this isnt it. Of course it is I have been so stupid to think that it wouldnt be them. Mum you cant listen to them there not good for you." Riley bent down to sophia begging her it was very hard to watch this poor lad to go through this. Sophia started to cry.

"Mum please listen to me I am not crazy there are no demons in my head. Its because they dont understand me. please mum listen to me."Riley said still begging. this was hard to watch i dont like having to admit people who seem to be well. you get to know the signs and Riley didnt seem to show any maybe a bit lost but not crazy.

" I know this is very upsetting Riley could you take a seat. you say them who are you talking about?" Riley didnt move and didnt answer my question very strange I think I need him on his own.

"You see He is very ill you need to take him in now." Edmund demanded. thats it i cant take being here with this annoying excuse off a father who really doesnt give a dam.

"Ok Riley I think you should come with me?" I am not getting any where with his parents in the room.

"I am not crazy. just because I dont want to join them does not mean I am crazy." Riley said begging his mother to belive him.

"It's ok Riley we will look after you here we have a good team we will take good care of you. We will sort all this confusion out" I stood up to take Riley to his room.

"Ok if you dont mind i am going to show Riley his room I will be back in a few moments to talk to you both." I cant belive I have to be kind but his mother seems concerned so iam doing it for her sake not his. Riley look like he couldnt belive his mother was standing for this he stood up and turned round so he wasnt looking at them anymore.

"Do you want to say goodbye to your parents Riley?" I asked to ease the atmosphere. Riley just looked down to the floor and shook his head.

I showed him into his room. Riley went to sit on the bed.

"Hows this for you?" I asked trying to ease things for him. Riley looked around the room at what was in here. it was A simple room just a tv, table and chairs and A bed. Riley looked at the floor hugging his bag. I sat down next to him.

"Are you going to be ok while I go and talk to your mother and father?" I asked unsure if I should leave him alone.

"Yes I will be fine." Riley said not looking at me.

"Ok Look Riley I know this seems tougth for you now. but we will sort everything out for you ok." I said understanding why he was upset.

Riley looked up and smiled at me.

"Thats better Are you sure you dont want say good bye to your mum?" I could see that Riley was close to his mother. Riley suddenly looked away.

"No I would not like to do that she has made her choice." Riley said sounding a little scared.

"Ok no problem Riley we wont make you do anything you dont want to ok." Riley looked back up to me and smiled. I jumped of the bed as I was about to walk out the door.

"Thank you Dr Jackson." Riley said sounding very nervous.

"Your welcolme Riley I am here to help you." I said to make Riley aware that I was on his side cos I was He sems fine to me.

I walked over to one of the nurses the one who had try to flirt with me to get info so I am really not up for a nice talk.

"Hi Could you just keep an eye on Riley Cartwright I havent given him any meads as yet as i am not sure if he needs them. he seems very calm at the moment see if he wants something to eat or drink. he is very nervous so just be aware of that." I know the nurse knows what to do this is rude should I say something no no I dont think I will I like this moody side people do there job with out moaning.

"Ok Dr Jackson not a problem." I walked back into the realatives room.

"Mr and Mrs Cartwright thank you for waiting. Ok I just want to get this clear. You seem to think that Riley has demons in his head and is acting a bit diffrent to what he normaly would?"

"Yes thats right he is normally very good. we have never had a problem with Riley he is a good child." Sophia said seeming to be very proud off him.

"Right ok and what about theses strange spells you mentioned earlyer?" I cant put my finger on it there is something a bit odd about them Something isnt right.

"Yes Ive only seen it happen once. Riley said it has happened a couple off times." Sophia said helping as much as she could

Edmund did not look happy his wife had kept this from him.

"What happened?" i incouraged

"I walked into Rileys room he was sat on the floor. he had his head in his arms. I asked him if he was ok and he just snapped at me.

told me he was fine he just wanted to be left alone. there was a lot off anger in his voice when he said it. He looked up after a minute and apolgised to me. He said he just felt a little strange like he felt dizzy."

"Ok you say this has happened more then once?"

"Well Riley said it was the only time it happened that bad. He has problems with his eyes he says that he can see coluor sometimes.

like it flickers on and off." Sophia said as she looked at Edmund weary of what she was saying.

"Does Riley need to wear glasses I see he wears contact lences?" I asked thinking that could be the cause for it.

"No he has never needed them he wears the contacts to be diffrent." Sophia said not taking her eye of Edmund.

"Right ok well I know some times when people see flickering lights it because they need glasses."i said just making an observation.

"Has Riley got any anger problems?" I asked as I couldnt see it but it might have been well hiddin.

"No Riley is well behaved." Sophia said as she was starting to get upset again.

"Ok the only reson I asked that was because you said he had anger in his voice when he felt dizzy."

"Riley Has been disabaying us he has been telling us that he is hearing voices and telling him to disabay us." Edmund snaped in.

"Has he actully said that to you?" They didnt answer me so I take that as A no."

"how old is Riley?"

"He is 23"

"So he is a young man then i take it he still lives at home?"

"Yes he still lives with us he is not mature enough to live on his own." edmund said in his harsh tone.

"Young men do go through stages where they need to be independant" riley seemed mature to me this was all making sence now. i carried on " Riley mentioned it earlyer are there other people giving you advice on Rileys upbringing?"

"No it's the demons in his head telling him that we are bad and doing all the wrong things for him." Sophia said very upset still. it sounded something Edmund would say i didnt expect it from her.

" ok well I have finished with my questions thank you All I can say is that we will observe Riley and do some tests and we will go from there."

"Thank you Dr Jackson thats very helpful of you." Sophia said.

"If you would like to leave your details with The nurse at the front desk and we will keep you informed in his progress. They will give you a number you can ring they will let you know what the best time you can visit Riley. Right ok well do you have any other questions or is there anything more about Riley we need to know?"

"Like what?" Edmund snapped once again. what is his problem.

"Any food allagies any thing like that?" Who does he think he is god.

"No But we do have one request." Edmund asked instead of his usal demanding tone

"Ok?"

"Riley must be left alone on fridays he must not be bothered. we use fridays as prayer time. it is very important to us that we keep that tradition going." Edmund enforsed rather then asked ahh its returned his arragont attitude.

"Right ok if thats your belief then we will stick by it." Its spooked me by this strange request. I shook there hands and shew them to the nurses station. The cartwright's left with out saying good bye to Riley.

Well thats a bit strange I think I will go and check on Riley see how he is settleing in. I can understand why Riley didnt want see them but for his parents not to want to say good bye to there son very strange. Riley was sitting at the table in his room he was looking at this old looking book. Riley chucked it on the floor.

"Every thing ok Riley?" I asked as I picked up the book.

"Please dont read that." Riley said as he looked ashamed to have it here with him.

"Here you go." I passed the book back to Riley. Riley didnt want to look at it so I just placed it on the table.

"Can I sit down?" Riley just nodded." "I know this is all very strange for you Riley but we are here to help you ok so dont be scared." RIley nodded once again. "Right Riley I want to get a better understanding to what is going on. we may need to give you some medication. Before i can do that i just need to ask you a couple of questions first. Is that ok?"

"Ok."Riley looked worried.

"I just need you to tell me why you think your parents think that you are hearing things?" i know these sort of questions can be hard to answer.

"I dont understand why they think I need profisional help." Rilley said sounding annoyed.

"Ok Riley well your parents thought this is the best place for you for now. so we are going to have to find out why they have come to that conclushen. is there any thing that you think you have done to make them think that?" I really do not understand why they had bought him in.

"I have been doing a lot of thinking of late about certin things. they belive in certin things And I am starting to think that it isnt the way i want to belive. My father has come up with this stupid idea to push me out of the way. my mother is weak she hangs on his every word. So she is just going along with his stupid plan." Riley said very uneasy talking about this subject it seemed

"You said earlyer that they didnt understand you?"

"I dont want to go in to that if you dont mind." Riley said really not happy with the way the conversation was going.

"Your mother said you have had some problems with your eyes can you tell me about that?" Riley took a deep breath.

"I sometimes see flickers of coulor. it doesnt happen often but when it does it really scares me." Riley said trying not to sound crazy.

"Well we will get you to see some one about your eyes you might just need glasses Riley."

"Really what about the dizzyness?" Riley asked a little releved I ceartinly didnt think he had any issues with his mentle health.

"It could be the same thing they will be able to tell more on that when they look at your eyes when was the last time it happened?"

"It hasnt happened for a long time now."

"Ok well I wouldnt worry yourself to much it might be your eyes adjusting growing up turing into an adult it can be tougth."

"I am an adult I am 24."

"Sorry 24? your parents told me you where 23?"

"This is my point they dont care anymore they cant even get my age right."

"we will sort this dont worry yourself." i left riley after he answerd all my questions. i closed his door the nurses where gossiping at he station i really couldnt deal with this so i decided to hide away in fraisers office he wouldnt mind me being in here. i sat down and banged my head on the desk a few times to make the hurt and the horrible image of jenny looking mad at me trying to knock it out ouch ok maybe not the best idea i have ever had.


	12. Chapter 11

_CHAPTER 11_

I arrived home with the painting for josh but he was busy outside so I decided I would finish my paper work. Josh and annabel were having a water fight outside in the garden I could here James making his way downstairs.

"Well good morning or should I say good afternoon?"

"It's not afternoon is it?" James said as he was rubbing his eyes.

"James it's three o clock."

"Ohh dear well I am well rested. Did you buy A painting?"James asked.

"No Charles gave me it to give to Josh for some reason."

"Right ok strange." James said as he hobbled outside to find out what Annabel and Josh where doing as they were laughing so much.

"I wouldnt go out there if i was you." I said Knowing he would be there next target. James ignored me and walked outside. I had to watch this Josh and annabel stoped looked at each other and just smiled at each other. They turned around and pointed the Water guns at James.

"Dont you dare you two." I heard James warn. They didnt listen they started to fire James ran in to the door forgeting he had closed it.

he made it in very wet James tripped over his cast and landed on the floor with a big thud he just layed there laughing. Annabel and Josh ran in after james.

"We have a man down Agent Josh what should we do." Annabel said joking. Josh couldnt do any thing he was laughing so much that he ha had to sit down. i hadnt seen josh this carefee for such along time and i was thankful for annabel she knew how to bring that out in him. Annabel helped James up.

"Ahh James the paint on your cast has mushed all together." Annabel said her voice sounding sad.

"No I like it very... diffrent." James replyed with a cheeky grin so Josh wouldnt feel bad.

"When do you get that thing off James? your starting to smell." Josh said wiggling his nose.

"Yes very funny. I go and get it checked out next week see how the fracture is healing. they might be able to take it off then?" James said excited by the prospect of having it off.

"Guess what Frasier Annabel is going to cook us some thing for tonight." Josh saying amused.

"What as long as it's not beans on toast."I said Joking.

"Hay that was a one off." Annabel answed back.

"Erm one off?" Josh asked confused.

"Did I not tell you the story of annabels master class in burning her flat down?"

"No I dont even know about this?" James answered.

"Ohh Right well Annabel said she would do us some beans on toast she got the toast stuck in the toaster and stuck a folk in the toaster it blew the eletric so we went to go and check the fuse as annabel wouldnt go by herself. she had left the beans on the hob with the towl near the flame so it caught fire the whole buliding had to be evacuated. I am sure I have told you?" I said sure I had. James and Josh couldnt stop laughing.

"Ok maybe it wouldnt be a good idea for you to cook Annabel." Josh said teasing her.

"Its ok Iam not doing beans on toast." She laughed.

"Josh I have been given something to give to you it's in the front room."

"A gift for me." Josh said excited.

"Charles saw your art work and said he would like you to do something for him. I was looking at one of his paintings and I said you would really like it so he gave it to me." Josh walked into the front room.

"Wow I love it. it's amazing Frasier." Josh shouted from the front room. Josh came back in to the kitchen.

"You will have to thank him for that and I would be very happy to do something for him. What a lovely thing to do." Josh said very impreased with a warm look on his face. The evening went quicky as it often does when im enjoying myself. We spent the next couple of hours just chatting in the kitchen. Annabel decided to make lasagne. Josh was going to help her to make sure she wasnt going to burn the house down. I felt relaxed and happy, it seemed everything was not as bad as i had thought. It was good to see that Josh and Annabel were still getting on after everything that had happened. We all seemed to be getting on actually, it was nice. i hope it will last.

We had our dinner it was actually really nice, I told Josh and annabel to go and sit in the front room and we would clean the kitchen we I ment me because James couldnt do A lot. Josh and annabel went into the front room and turned on the tv to see if they could find a good film. We rejoined them once the plates was in the dishwasher Josh couldnt sit still he just keep getting up and sitting down and just fidgerting.

"Josh what is wrong with you?" Annabel asked concerned to why he couldnt sit still.

"I dont know I feel abit anxious." Josh replyed as he got up again and stood up with his arms folded.

"well it's not me is it them two?" Annabel asked worried.

"No it's not them." Josh said as he looked towards our way.

"Josh sit down please you are worrying me." Annabel said as she held her hand out for Josh to sit back down next to her.

"whats up kid?" I said as i could see Josh was looking a bit worried.

"Iam fine same old." Josh replyed. I understood same old. he was picking up on someones anxity i was concerned but only because I didnt like seeing Josh in this way. "It's nothing frais Chill." Josh said knowing i was worrying about him. James sat down in the chair trying to act normal I followed james lead and tried to act normal to this had deffently freaked annabel out she needed normality so I sat down on the floor next to James.

"Sorry Frasier do I smell?" Annabel asked.

"No why?"

"Well why are you sitting on the floor?"

"I dont know Just feel like it." I said laughing at annabel. James opened his legs so that I could sit between them he started to give me a neck rub.

"Dam I forgot the Glasses." I said ready to pour the wine.

"I will get them." Josh said as he jumped of the sofa. Josh walked into the kitchen Annabel looked towars the kitchen she was certinly worried about him.

"he has freaked you a little hay?" I asked as she looked worried. Annabel didnt say any thing she just kept her eye towards the kitchen.

"Annabel." I shouted. Annabel jumped.

"Sorry were you talking to me?" Annabel asked dazed. I just laugthed at Annabel as she was in a day dream.

"What?" She asked again confused.

"it doesnt matter dear." I said still laugthing James just rolled his eyes. Josh came back in now with the wine glasses. He put them on the table and started to walk upstairs.

"Josh where are you going?" Annabel asked she is so concerned for him but how do I explain this happens from time i dont think she would like to hear that she has never ever seen Josh act this way before we have lots of times when some one is feeling strongly it could affect him but most of the time he wouldnt let it affect him if he didnt know who it was. all the years annabell has known us and in this week she has found out a few new things which didnt seem to be big a big deal to us but it seemed to be mean alot to annabel

"I will be back in a minute." Josh didnt take long he came back down stairs with his art pad and some coloured pencils. He sat back down next to Annabel and looked into her eyes and just smilled.

"Dont worry I am fine." He said as he felt her concern. He opened up his art pad to a fresh page and started to draw. Annabel put her head on Josh's shoulder and Josh hit annabel on the head with his pencil.

She pulled a face at him.

"Very Atractive Annabel." Josh said jokeing.

"I know i do try." She said mocking him. I looked up to James I looked into his lovely blue eyes and felt very happy to be here with him and my family. Josh nugged Annabel to look over at us thinking i wouldnt notice.

"True love." Josh wispered in to Annabels ear. Annabel just smiled she wanted that kind of bond with someone.

"Dont worry you will find him." Josh said as he carried on with his sketching. I carried on looking at Annabel and Josh thinking they would make a perfect couple. Josh looked over to me and gave me a glare to say dont start. I held my hands up to say ok. Josh smiled at me and just carried on with his art. A good half hour had pasted we were watching a really rubbish film but no one could be bothered to turn it over. Josh put his art work down. He looked towards the front door then back to the tv. He picked up his art pad and opened it back to the page he was working on earlyer. Josh closed it again frustrated.

"What's wrong Josh?" Annabel asked as he was fidgerting again.

"I dont know I dont feel to good." Josh said worry in his tone. I looked over to Josh he really didnt look happy about something.

"its really bugging you hay kid?" he didnt look happy about what he was feeling I wonder if its someone he knew for him to affect him this much.

"Excuse Me I will be back in a mInute." Josh got up and walked towards the kitchen. He stopped half way and turned round. "Somethings very wrong. who is that?" Josh said confused he started to walk up and down the room. I got up to walk over to Josh.

"Whats going on Josh your starting to scare me." I was feeling very nervous.

"Sorry I am picking up on some one."

"some one you know?"

"No I dont know who it is. What ever has just happend isnt a good thing. I havent felt this from someone before its really strange I cant explain it." Josh said still walking up and down. Then Josh stopped and looked straight at me.

"Frais you need to call Ben." Josh said obviously very worried for Ben now.

"What Why?" I asked confused.

"Frasier please just call him." Josh said sounding very scared. Annabel got up to comfort Josh.

"Josh come on I think you need to sit down." She said pulling him to sit down.

"I got my phone out ready to call Ben but as I did the phone stared to ring. It made every one jump.

"Its Ben" I said shocked. I picked up the phone.

"Ben Whats wrong?" I asked knowing something was up.

"Frasier thank you some one picked up. Hang on how did you know something was up?" Ben asked confused to why i had reacted like i had.

"It doesnt matter now. whats going on then?"

"Ohh yes right well I have a new patient at work and he was fine. Something happend to him he just started to act really strange and now he wont eat he wont drink. He looks like he has shut down compleatly. " Ben said stressed out.

"Hang on your still at work?"

"Yeah long story. Frasier could you come in and help me?" Ben asked knowing he didnt want to but had no other choice.

"Yes certainly Ben I will leave right now."

"Thank you Frasier." Ben said a little bit more realived. I put the phone down and looked over to Josh who would be wondering whats going on. Josh did look a lot better now.

"I am ok now Frasier the worry has gone compleatly. That was really bizzare It wasnt ben at first it was some one else. I dont know how to say how it felt Its totaly freaked me out. that has never happened before?" Josh said letting me know he was ok he was compleatly confused.

"How do you mean you cant describe it?" I asked.

"I dont know It really hard to put in to words . Its like I could see coulor instead off feeling it. then back to feeling again really weired." Josh said still not understanding it. I looked at Josh really worried I didnt want to leave if something strange was going to happen to him.

"Frais I will fine dont panic you see normal now." Josh said to make me feel like I could leave him. any way james and Annabel are here to look after him if he needed it. james sighed.

" James I really need to go in." I said as James isnt happy bout me going in at short notice. I ran upstairs before James got the chance to have a go at me. He didnt like me going in to work when i wasnt suppose to be working. I sat on the bed Puting my bandages on. James walked in not happy.

"James please dont start I need to go in I have no choice." I said not wanting an argument.

"Frasier You know how I feel about you going in when your suppose to be off. it's not fair on you they just take advantage of you." James said looking annoyed.

"Look I will go in sort out Bens patient and come back straight away I wont be more then an hour?" I said reasuring him.

"Yeah whatever you always say that." James said as he looked away he was angry he couldnt look at me.

"James please I dont want to argue with you about this. But how can I ignore what just happend you saw Josh he looked so worried for Ben. Do you expect me just to ignore that?".

"No." James snaped back. I stood up and kissed James on his head.

"I wont be long."

"Fine." James said not happy. we walked down stairs. I apolgised to Annabel for having to leave but she understood. James went to sit back down In a grump. I just left I was needed and I couldnt just say no not to help.

I arrived at the hospital It didnt take me more then ten minutes that was the joy of having a fast car. Ben was waiting by the door ready to let me in so he could update me to what had happend.

"Frasier thank you for this I really didnt know who else to call." Ben said very fast and almost throwing the words out.

"Ok Ben update me." I said as he had his patients folder we walked into my office.

"Right ok Riley Cartwight his parents came in earlyer wanting to admit there son. I did a quick observation he seemed a little withdrawn.

His parents were very odd. I think he needs an eye exam he said he see's colour flickering some times.

and has had dizzy spells." Ben said informing me off his observation.

"Right ok we will get that booked in."

"I told them that normally we ask for your local gp referal but they said they were told to come straight here."

"Strange ok so you have no medical history then?"

"No. I havent givin him any meads as I wasnt sure to and to be honest he really didnt look like he needed them. He was very calm a little upset that his parents thought he needed help."

"So what changed then?"

"Well he recived a phone call I think it was his mother something was said he put the phone down. He went back to his room and just sat on the bed. I went to check on him as he looked upset. He was just staring at the wall no responce when I asked him if he was ok nothing.

He has been like that since." Ben said really worried.

"Shall we go and see him then?" I asked intriqued. Ben shew the way. Ben knocked on Riley's door.

"Ohh before we go in I forgot to tell you he is wearing contact lences one of them is green and the other is blue. it freaked me out when he first looked at me." Ben said warning me so I wouldnt looked shocked.

"Didnt you say he didnt need glasses so why is he wearing contacts?" I asked confused.

"His mother said that it was so he looked diffrent." Ben said explaing it to me. I walked in with Ben.

"Riley I have bought Dr O'Neil here with me to meet you." Ben said as we entered the room. Riley Just sat on his bed No reaction nothing.

"Hello Riley." I said thinking maybe that would snap him out of this. Nothing I could see he was very artistic in the way he wore his make up and the way he tryed to express hImself.

"I take it his parents dont agree with the whole way he express him self?" I asked Ben.

"No they said that he had demons in his head telling him to disabay them and to dress like this." Ben said. i looked over to ben with a worried glare. I had heard that before It spooked me a little maybe I was being paranoid.

"Right well he wants to be diffrent and his parents dont agree with that? Ok so did he show signs of hearing voices or was it all his parents say so?" I asked slightly concerned.

"My honset opinion is that he doesnt need to be here I belive it is just Riley growing up I think there is an outsider giving his parents advice on how to bring him up. I wasnt expecting this to happen." Ben said worried he had made the wrong call.

"No It's ok I think you did the right thing. You said he recived a phone call do you know what the conversation was?"

"No It was very quick. He was trying not to shout. he looked very upset?" Ben said answering my questions.

"Right well I think he has gone into shock. I think the best thing to do is to just leave him he should snap out of it." I said making a dignosis.

"Ok yeah that makes sence. Sorry I didnt need to drag you in for just that." Ben said ashamed that he didnt think of that. I smilled at ben to reasure him that was ok. I went to sit down next Riley.

"Riley if you can hear me it's going to be ok. we are here to help you ok take your time to get over the shock. we will keep an eye on you ok." I said reasuring Riley because even when people shut down sometimes they feel like they cant move and get very scared so I just wanted to let Riley know it was ok. We walked out and went back to my office one of the nurses was keeping watch over Riley for us.

"Ok Ben sit down." I said as we were in my office.

"Have I made the wrong choice?" Ben asked worried.

"No I would have done the same thing Ben Dont worry. You seem wound up about something else. I think that has affected your Judgement. but the fact that your here on your own with no other Doctor on is very wrong I will be looking into that." I said concerned.

"Yes the Temp doc was suppose to cover Dr Alex. But they never turned up I rang them and they couldnt send anyone else.

so i have to stay untill Dr Alex comes back."

"Why were is Dr Alex?"

"She has to do the night shift now so she went home to get some rest she is back in at elveven."

"Right ok Ben you should have rang earlyer I could of helped?" I said not understanding why he haddnt.

"I needed a distraction to be honnest. and I didnt want to disturb you." Ben said a little uneasy.

"Why did you need a distraction did something happen when i left?" I asked knowing something was up.

"Jenny came in ready to work. I went to tell her to go home and to say it wasnt a good idea she was here. She had been drinking." Ben said ashamed.

"What?" I couldnt belive Jenny would do that.

"I Know I told her if she didnt go that I would report her. She is very angry with me."

"Ben you did the right thing."

"I know I did but i still feel bad about it."

"Well yes your going to. Erm when did this happen?" I asked maybe thats what Josh picked up on.

"Ohh ages ago before Riley was admited."

"Right ok that doesnt make sence." I said confused.

"Why?"

"Josh said he felt something strange about half hour ago. He could feel something was wrong he wasnt sure if it was you or someone else? But you said about Riley that might have been it " I said letting Ben know and trying to work it out.

"Ohh I thought that you had to be in the same place he was for him to use his gift?" Ben asked unsure.

"Yeah its strange sometimes when something very bad has happend he can feel it. Even if he isnt near you but usally he knows who it is straight away. but he was really unsure untill he told me to ring you. Thats when you rang. I said trying to explain it.

"Ok thats spooked me a little. Do you think he picked up on riley because I was worried about him?" Ben asked trying to make sence of it.

"I dont know but thats not a bad theroy you have there. Right plan of action is needed I think we will breif Dr Alex when she comes in for the rest of her shift. I dont want to give him any drugs at the moment so good call on that one Ben." I said boosting his confidence.

This whole Jenny buisness has totally knocked his confidence. Ben went back on to the ward to see his other patients. We didnt have many in tonight so we were lucky on that when we were down on staff. I wasnt going to call James I knew this was going to be a long night. Ben kept an eye on Riley just doing obs. We decided to give him a drip we were slightly worried that he wasnt getting any fluid. Dr Alex arrived on her shift a little while later she came into my office suprised to see me. Once again she did not knock.

"Dr O'Neil what are you doing here?" She asked genuinly concered.

"Dr Jackson has had some problems with his patient. I have come in to give him a hand."

"What Dr Jackson is still here what happend to the temp doctors?"

"They didnt show up and the agancy are not being very helpful."

"Right give me five minutes we will have someone down here I promice you that." Dr Alex left and went to phone someone. Ben walked in to my office

"Is she early?"

"Yes and being helpfull Hows Riley doing?" I asked conerned.

"No change." It was really frustrating Ben he really wanted to help this lad. Dr Alex came back.

"Right We have two Doctors on there way down to help. They ode me a couple of favours. so you two can go home." Dr Alex said pleased with herself. Ben couldnt stand to be in the room with her he started to walk out. He stoped and faced Dr Alex. She stood there with a smug smile on her face. expecting Ben to thank her.

"Yes well it's amazing what you can get people to do what you want them to when you sleep with every one you know." Ben said very angry. Dr Alex mouth Dropped.

"Are you going to stand for that Dr O'Neil." She asked as I pretended to be doing something. I looked up.

"Sorry did you say something I was in a world of my own." I replyed She didnt look happy. "Ok then do you want me to wait for the other doctors to come down to brief you on our new patient?" I asked amused.

"No Lets get this over with." She said not amused by Ben's behaviour.

"We have a lad called Riley Cartwright in. We are not sure what sort of mental problem he has but Dr Jackson seems to think he doesnt have one. Dr Jackson thinks it's his parent's not understanding him. I can not say if that is true or not but I do trust Dr Jacksons opinion.

He seems to of have had some bad news so he has shut down compleatly. We have put him on a drip to keep his fluids up. I showed her to Riley's room she seemed shocked to see him.

"Yes His makeup scares people but it's just a mask." I said reasuring her as she seemed shocked.

"I think we need to sedate him." Dr Alex sugested

"Under no circumstances must you do that do you understand that?"

"Why? No drugs?" She asked shocked.

"Because I want to asses him first."

"What if he goes crazy?"

"Then restraign him but nothing else."

"Right fine if you say so." Dr Alex said annoyed that she couldnt drug him. Ben had done his last obs and left with out saying goodbye. He was feeling very angry I couldnt blame him the one person he really cared about who he wanted to protect and he couldnt. Now it looked like she was turning to the drink it was just a disaster for Ben

"So you seem happy about something." I asked as she was very cherful when she came in.

"Yes me and charles are giving it another go isnt it wonderful news?" she said very excited. I couldnt belive it I thought Charles was stronger but it seemed he wasnt. I left Dr Alex to it I decided to go and say good bye to Riley. I dont know what it was about Riley but i felt like he needed a little help not that was a bad thing. I think he just got lost along the way. He was still in the same state as we left him earlyer. I didnt go in to his room he needed to sort this out in his own time I certainly couldnt rush him. Then when he was ready to move on we can help him. I walked out side it was rainning hard. Even though it was dark i could see the thick black clouds swirling above me. then suddenly A huge bang came from the sky. It made me jump so much that I decided to run for it. I hated thunderstorms I always had. Arabella and Issacc my real parents would make us camp out in a storm it's the gods talking to us they would always say. we need to be in the nature for us to hear him to guide us through tougth times a head. I ran to my car shaking with fear the thunder was so loud. When i got in my car I turned the radio up so loud so i couldnt hear it any more. I must admit the lighting was beautiful the way it light up the dark sky. I bet Josh would be by the window painting i thought trying to distract myself.

When I arrived home the storm was just starting it was going to be a rougth night I am sure I wouldnt sleep much tonight. Annabel and Josh were watching scary movies trying to see who could scare each other First there was no point really. Because Josh would pick up on annabels fear or if he was scared first he would blame it on annabel being scared.

"Somebodys a bit scared." Josh said making a joke out of it. He knew how much I hated the storms he didnt need to feel my anxity Annabel gigled trying not to show that it did make her laugth. I walked into the kitchen and got myself a glass i got the jack daniels out i needed it to knock me out. I sat at the table and pourded my self half a glass I wasnt going to mix it with any thing drink it neat tonight. I started to un wrap my bandages and a loud bang shocked the hell out of me the lights started to flicker on and off. I got up very fast grabded the bottle and went into the front room were I wouldnt be alone. Annabel and josh looked at me as i rushed in. Bottle in one hand glass in the other and one of my arms half un bandaged. They both burst out laugthing.

"Yes very funny I am glad i amuse you." I said sarcasticly. I gabbed couple of cusions and sat by the window. The curtins were still open so I decided I might watch the storm from inside. Nice and safe with my drink.

"Was Ben ok?" Josh asked as finished unwraping my bandages.

"Yeah kind of he is having a bit of a tougth time with a girl at work." I said looking out the window.

"What Jenny?" Annabel asked knowing what happend the other night.

"Yes Nurse Pool. She is such A lovely person for Ben. She just seems to be making all these mistakes and pushing Ben away. All Ben wants to do is help." I said feeling sorry for Ben.

"Yeah well that's women for you more hastle then there worth." Josh said knowing Annabel was giong to hit him. She gave him A glare.

"Watch your self Josh or I will beat you." Annabel said fists up at the ready.

"Is that a promice?" Josh said laughing. Annabel just shook her head.

"So what has she done then?" Annabel asked being nosey as ever.

"Well she decided to go into work which was a bad idea in the first place. She had also been drinking before she started her shift."

"Ohh no thats not good did she get caught?"Annabel asked shocked.

"No Ben Smelt it on her breath he told her to go home or he would report her."

"Wow Bens got guts I dont know what I would do." Annabel said feeling sorry for Ben.

"Yeah he did the right thing. Now he has the dilema if she hits the drink hard he said that he cant help her. I can understand why but I think it will really do some confidence has been knocked so much already. He could of coped with out me tonight but he was so wound up that he just couldnt make the right decison."

"Hang on why Wont he support her for he loves her right?" Annabel asked confused.

"Ohh annabel keep up Ben's father was a drunk who beat up him and his mother. Now If Jenny hits the drink then Ben doesnt think he could cope going through all that again." Josh said to explain it Annabel.

"Right ahh Poor Ben I just want to hug him bless him." Annabel said symperthticly. Josh rolled his eyes at her. Annabel diidnt look to pleased a bout that.

"So what was the emergancy then when I felt Ben he was in a bad way?" Josh asked.

"He worked him self up. He did come up with a good theroy though."

"Really go on?" Josh asked intreagued.

"You know when you said that something was wrong and you didnt know who it was?" Josh just nooded sitting forward now intreasted in what I was saying.

"Yeah well Ben said that he was in the room with one of our new patients. Who has had some sort of breakdown which was unexspected.

Ben was standing in the room when you had your feeling so maybe it was Riley our new patient?"

"Yeah it could of been I guess because it certrtinly wasnt Ben to begin with." Josh said thinking the same theroy as Ben's.

"Riley Thats a nice name is he hot?" Annabel asked intreagued.

"Ha-ha um he is very expresive lets put it that way." I said rembering his face art and his strange coloured eyes.

"Ohh what do you mean by that?" Annabel semed really intrasted now.

"Well I am not sure what colour his eyes are because he has coloured contacts. So they are either Green or Blue. I would say they were Green because the Blue did look A bit fake. He also had this amazing art on his face by his right eye. It wasnt a tattoo just make up I think very expresseve." I said excited by this new case. Josh looked at me and Laugthed.

"What?" I asked.

"Do you rember when you went through a stage were you wore makeup? Thick eyeliner you were rebelling do you rember?" Josh asked.

"Ha ha you wore eye make up Frasier?" Annabel asked shocked.

"Yeah I did for A little whille when I began to live with my new Mum and Dad." I said slightly embarsed.

"Wow I would never of gussed. I love it when Men were eye make up when the try to be diffrent from the crowed. I can also use them as modles." Annabel said laughing

"Frais you seem excited by this new case?" Josh asked.

"Yeah I dont know what it is about him but I feel very drawn to him very bizzare." Josh looked A little sceptic. I carried on looking outside at the storm it was moving away now into the distance. For a long moment I started to wonder where Arrabella and issacc where. If they were out in a storm if they had one. Were they alone? Had they carried on their life without their son? I started to wonder if I had another Brother or maybe a sister, someone to replace there lost boy? Would they be foursed to be outside like they use to forse me to do. My arms started to burn at that thought I felt A little angry now. I put my Glass down and just drank out of the bottle.

"Frasier calm down Dude no need to be angry." Josh said as he rubbed his arms. I looked down to the ground.

"Sorry?" I said ashamed.

"What were you thinking about?" Josh asked concerned to why my arms were burning.

"It's nothing I was just rembering stuff not very pleasent for me." I said not happy that I even bothered wasting my time thinking about them.

"Who are you thinking about?" Josh asked confused he could feel it off me. I really didnt want to say there names even to think of them was enougth. I knew Josh wouldnt drop it.

"Arrabella and Issacc." I said with hatred for them I took the bottle an took A long drink from it.

"Ok Frais that's really not going to help is it." Josh said pointing at the bottle.

"Well it might I can block it out then." I said ready to down the rest of the bottle. Annabel came over to me snached the bottle out of my hand and passed it to Josh she sat on my lap.

"Frasier your not going to drink your memorys away it's not healthy. We certianly couldnt cope if you were to go down that road now would we. What about Ben he has so much respect for you. He would lose that for you right away wouldnt he?" Annabel said as she hugged me. I just felt like crying now.

"Excuse me." I said as my voice cracked. Annabel jumped up and just stood by me she looked down to Josh who was looking down trying to fight the tears. Annabel sat on the end of the chair and hugged Josh I walked of to the downstairs toilet. I locked the door. I looked into the mirror I just stared at my self for a moment. Then it hit me I had never noticed it before I looked just like Issacc. This turned my emotions to anger I turned round I couldnt look at my face any more. All i could see was his evil eyes. I took a deep breath and turned back round to look back at the mirror to see if it was all in my head. It wasnt I was really looking like him. My arms were burning so much now I had so much anger running through my vains. I was shaking so much my fists cleanched. I dont know what came over me but that was it I just lost it. I smashed the mirror then I hit the wall beside it and made a hole in the wall. Then Josh started to scream It snapped me back to reality. I looked at my hand it was bleading it had shardes of glass inbeded in my nuckles. I didnt feel the pain I was in shock I stupid of me to lose it like I had.

Poor Josh what have I done I thought ashamed. I unlocked the door and went to go say sorry to Josh. I was very annoyed with myself But the pain hadnt made it's way through yet. As I walked into the front room James was halfway down the stairs with worry on his face. I looked over to Josh who was Laugthing at me as he was shaking his hand. Annabel was on her knees scared for Josh.

"Feel Better now Frais?" Josh said ammused. Annabel got up and ran towards me.

"Frasier your getting Blood every were." She said concerned. She rushed me through to the kitchen and ran my hand under the sink. I was still in a state of shock Annabel was asking me questions But I just couldnt answer her. She looked really panicked. She called James over who was in the front room asking Josh what was happening.

"I dont know what I am doing Help me?" Annabel said scared that I was loseing lots of blood. which I wasnt she was overreacting. James grabed A cloth of the side and squezed my hand tight.

"Ouch ok that really hurts now." I said as I snapped out of my bubble.

"Good I hope it does. What the hell were you thinking off?" James asked annoyed.

"I dont know what came over me I just had to hit something." I said embarsed that i had made a scene. Josh came into the kitchen with the jack daniels bottle half drunk.

"It might have something to do with this?" Josh said as he waved the bottle at me.

"Frasier what were you thinking off?" James asked concerned now for me. I just looked down I was embarsed by what I had just was out of order I shouldnt have reacted like the way I did.

"Well an answer would be good." James said as he removed the cloth.

"I looked in the mirror and I look like Issacc." I said glum.

"Ohh Frasier what the hell? so that gives you the right to break our mirror?" James said annoyed.

"Yeah the wall as well I think I made a Hole." I said feeling really stupid. James looked really mad at me. Josh just burst out laugthing.

"Josh It's not funny." James said angry.

"Ha-ha yeah it is Frais your so stupid. Even if you did look like issacc it doesnt make you the same as him. When are you going to get that into your thick skull." Josh said hitting the top of my head.

"Frasier these cuts look deep I think you need stichers?" James said concerned not acting angry now.

"What let me take a look." I held my hand up to see.

"No it will be fine Just put some plasters on it." I said not really looking at the state of my hand.

"Well do you want me to take the glass out?" James asked worried.

"What there is glass in there?" I asked shocked. Josh just pointed to the bottle of wiskey and made gulping noices. Yes ok Maybe the alchol was starting to kick in. I was starting to feel light headed and my speach started to slur.

When I awoke the sun was beaming in. my head was spinning I sat up But that wasnt a good idea as the room started to spin even more.

I had to look down and concentrate on one thing. I thought I was going to be sick but it passed.

"Morning. U ok?" James asked. I put my hand up to say one secound. He just giggled. I looked up and around to where we were to familarise myself we were in the front room It confused me to why we where in here.

"You passed out on the sofa and I wasnt even going to try to move you." James said not getting to close. Just in case I decided to throw up all over him.

"Ouch Why does my hand hurt?" I asked confused to why it was hurting, not hurting, bloody burning.

"Ohh dear you dont rember." James said ammused. I pulled the plaster's off.

"Ouch I think I need stichers." I said as I looked at the damage.

"Yes well I said that last night but you said you didnt need them. so I got the glass out and put the plasters on like you said." James said finding it funny.

"Glass?" I asked confused.

"Shall I show you what you did?" James said as he stood up and held his hand out. He showed me to the toilet and showed me the damage I caused.

"Who did that?" I asked confused why there was a hole in the wall and no mirror.

"Let's get you some coffee shall we." James grabbed my good hand and helped me into the kitchen. He couldnt walk very well with out his crutches but he tried his best.

James made me a strong coffee and some toast. I wasnt sure if I could handle any thing to eat but James insisted if I was going to work then I needed to eat something. I looked at the clock and sighed.

"I better get ready or i will be late."

"Well you better hurry up and eat your toast then get some energy in you." James said as he sreached his arms. I think he had spent most of the night up looking out for me. I got up and Kissed him on the head to say thank you and went to get a shower to freashen up and maybe it would wake me. As I returned back down stairs showered shaved and bandaged James was asleep on the sofa. As I kissed him on the head to say goodbye It woke him which I didnt want to do.

"Hay you look better." James said half a sleep.

"I am going now why dont you go back to bed?" I said feeling bad that he stayed up looking after me.

"Ok well have a good one ring me when you have your break wont you." James said he got up ready to go to bed.

"Yeah ok I will pick up a mirror if I get a chance today." I said embarsed.

"It's sunday Frasier so good luck with that one." James said reminding me what day it was.

"Ohh well I will try if not I will get one at some point this week." James just laugthed at me I was still feeling a bit rubbish but I was starting to feel more human. I left James as he hobbled up the stairs I got in my car and put the roof down and put my sun glasses on it was such a nice day.

I arrived at the hospial early there was no traffic on the road so it didnt take me long. I decided I would go and get a coffee before I start I really needed it. I saw Ben sitting at a table playing with his cup just ripping bits of it. He looked in a bad way. I orderd my coffee and bought Ben one too he looked like he needed one. I walked over to him and held my hand out to give him his coffee.

"Thanks.".

"You ok?" I asked my voice sounding rougth.

"Ha-ha Yeah Thanks what about you?" Ben said looking at me funny.

"Me I am fine thanks." I said still sounding like I was going to lose my voice.

"So why are you still wearing your sunglasses inside for then?" Ben said laughing.

"Ohh I forgot I had them on." I said chuckling. I rasied my arm to take them off. Ben grabed my Hand.

"What have you Been doing then?" He asked as he examined my Hand.

"Yeah that well aparently I got really drunk last night. I made a hole in the wall and broke the mirror in the toilet." I said not beliving I had really done it.

"Ok why?" Ben asked confused.

"I dont know I dont rember. All I can rember Is the thunder storm and thats about it."

"Opps well I hope you are not near me when you rember what made you that angry. To do this much damage to your hand you need stiches." Ben said as he got up with his coffee. I followed him up to the ward I kept my sunglases on as I looked a state. As we walked on the ward It looked quiet good sign I thought.

"I am just going to get changed I will come and find you and sort your hand out for you." Ben said as he walked off. I walked towards my office Dr Alex was in there doing some paper work. This annoyed me cant she use her own office this was mine not her's.

"Enjoying yourself in my Office Dr Alex?" I asked not happy.

"Ohh Dr O'Neil you made me jump. Ohh do you have a hangover Frasier you still have your shades on?" She said amused that I was suffering.

"It's Dr O'neil when we are at the hospital Dr Alex." I snapped back.

"Off course sorry. I will be back in a minute." She said as she got up amused by my bad mood she walked out. I shut the door behind her well slammed it more then closed it. Ben came and knocked on the door. He had some stuff for my hand. I took my sunglasses off and took my coat of to hang it up. I sat down for Ben to fix my hand up.

"Where has the devil women gone?" Ben asked he couldnt even say her name.

"Dont know she will be back in a minute." I said laugthing at Ben.

"Great well excuse me when she comes back I certainly do not want to breathe in her evil vapours. Just rember to cover your mouth when she talks." Ben said making A joke out of her. I couldnt help but laugth it cheered me up.

"There all done." Ben said admiring his work.

"Thanks for that. Ohh watch out here she comes." I said as Dr Alex was about to come in.

once again she did not knock.

"Dr Jackson well you look just as bad as Dr O'Neil did you too go out last night?" She asked trying to be friendly.

"Excuse me Dr O'Neil I have to be some were more important then here." Ben said as he looked straight at Dr Alex. He walked out then knocked on the door and walked back in again.

"Ohh it does make a sound when you knock." Ben said as he walked back out smilling bet he felt better after that.

"What A strange Man." Dr Alex said shaking her head. I just laugthed knowing what he was getting at.

"Right how's Riley Cartwright?" I asked as I couldnt find his file.

"Yes um Mr Cartwright well we had to give some drugs." She said knowing I was going to shout.

"What?" I said in a low voice I couldnt shout that would hurt my head.

"Well he was freaking me out just staring at the wall like that so I sadated him." I got up and budged past her i went to take a look at Riley.

he was still a sleep I checked his obs every thing was ok but that wasnt the point. Ben could see I was angry he found Rileys notes and had seen what she had givin him he just shock his head. I walked back in to my office and slammed the door shut It made her Jump.

"What did I say last night No drugs where you not listerning to me?" I said not shoutting but very stern.

"Yes I was but I made a dession that I thought was right for him." She said kind of scared by my reaction.

"We have no medical history on him so what made you think that your Judgement was right you could off killed him Dr Alex." I said very angry with her.

"I wasnt thinking Dr O'Neil sorry." She said as she looked at the floor ashamed.

"No you were not get out of my sight I am very angry with you at the moment." I said as I sat down. Dr Alex got up and rushed out of the office in a hurry.

Ben knocked on my door. "Come in." I said as I was looking at my computer.

"What the hell has she done?" Ben asked as he read Riley's file.

"I have had a word with her and I am marking it down on her record. she cant get away with that she was walking in blind she could of killed him."I said very annoyed by her.

"What do you want me to do?" Ben asked concerned.

"Can you get one of the nurses to do the obs on every one. I want you to keep a close eye on Riley if we have enougth nurses on can you asign one to Rileys room for constant assesment. Tell them to let us know if there are any changes. I am giong to email Dr Jones and make him aware of what has happend." I said letting Ben know what the plan was. Ben was about to walk out when Dr Alex came back in with her coat on.

"Ohh There you are Dr Jackson your mother came in looking for you. I said you were in later if she wanted to come back." Dr Alex said trying to be helpful.

"What did you just say?" Ben asked shocked.

"Your mother popped into see you?" Dr alex said shocked by Bens reaction.

"When?" Ben asked with no feeling.

"about an hour ago why?"Dr alex asked compleatly confused. Ben pushed Dr Alex out of the way and ran out down the ward. I rushed out to see what he was going to do. Ben Ran into Nurse Pool and shouted sorry as he ran out the door.

"What was all that about?" Dr Alex asked confused.

"Nothing for you to know about." I said harshly. Nurse Pool walked over to us concerned for Ben.

"Hello Nurse Pool How are you?" Dr Alex asked in her fake tone.

"Well apart from a dirty whore stealing my partner great thank you." Jenny said sarcasticly.

"Nurse Pool I would like to talk to you please." I said moving out of the way so she could come into my office. Nurse Pool looked scared.

"Dont worry its nothing to worry about." I said as Dr Alex was looking smug. That wiped her smile of her face. she walked off in a huff.

"Is Dr Jackson ok?" Jenny asked worried.

"Sit down. Can I get you a coffee?" I asked to make jenny more comfertable

"No thank you." She said worried. I sat down.

"I just wanted to check you are ok?" I said symperfticly.

"Ohh so I am not in trouble?" Jenny said shocked.

"No of course not." I said reasuring her.

"Well Its been hard Adam wont leave me alone. he keeps ringing me knocking on my door begging me to take him back." Jenny said warn out.

"I see have you made a dessison about what you are going to do?" I asked concerned.

"Yes I think so I am going to ignore him. I love him I really do but i seem to bring his tempur out of him. Thats why he hits me and drinks so much so I decided it would be best for both of us if we call it a day. He can move on and find someone who wont make him angry like I do." Jenny said now sounding upset.

"Jenny Please dont think like that it's not your fault. Adam has a few issues it seems he needs help. if he doesnt get it he will be the same with whoever he ends up with you shouldnt blame yourself it wont help you. the best advice I can give you is be strong and move on with out him." I said trying to make Her undersatnd it wasnt her fault.

"Thank you Dr O'Neil."

"I would like you to look after a special patient for me if you dont mind today?"

"Of course I would like to do that." Jenny said pleased that I wanted her to be here.

"Excellant. His name is Riley Cartwright he has had some bad news we havent been able to asses him just yet He shut down last night Dr Alex drugged him last night which I asked her not to as we have no medical notes. so I just need you to keep an eye on him untill he wakes up and just reasure him if he is scared." I asked.

"Yes of course I will start staright away." Jenny responded.

"Thank you Jenny thats a big help." She stood up ready to leave.

"Is Ben ok?" she asked again worried for him.

"I cant answer that His mother came in earlyer when he wasnt here." I said unsure what else to say.

"Ohh no Poor Ben He doesnt need to go through all that again." Jenny said sounding concerned for him.

"Yes I know I hope he is ok." Jenny left to start her shift I was about to go and brief the team we had on but Ben came back he looked in a state.

"Ben can you wait in my office please." I said concerned for him.

"Ok guys can you start the obs on every one for me. I will be out in a moment I just need to talk to Dr Jackson. If you have any questions please feel free to ask Nurse Pool she will help you. Nurse Pool any problems come and see me." I said firm I hated giving orders. but there were more people on in the day and they needed to be told what to do. I walked into my office Ben was paceing up and down. I sat on my desk I wasnt going to ask Ben to sit he was to wound up. I waited for Ben to talk I didnt want to push him. He stopped paceing and sat down.

"I cant belive she was here all those years of no contact. Then she turns up here and doesnt even leave a number or an address."Ben said hurt.

"Do you want to see if we can find out if she left in a car or a taxi? Maybe we can get an address for her?" I really didnt know what else I could do for him.

"No If she wanted me to Know were she was then she would have said wouldnt she. I am just shocked she Came here thats all.

"Do you want to go home?" I really didnt know what to say.

"Thank you but I think I need to be here to keep busy." Ben said calming down.

"Are you sure Ben?"

"Yes I will be ok."

"Well if it gets to much let me know and you can leave." I said reasuring him.

"Thank You Frasier You are a true friend." Ben said happy to confide in me.

"Your welcolme Ben. Ha to think of the things you have had to deal with being my Friend." I said lightining the mood.

"Yes Very true." Ben said laugthing.

"Right shall we start then." I said ready to sort out the mess Dr Alex had made. I walked out on to the ward to get an update.

"Nurse Pool are you feeling Better?" Ben asked

"Yes thank you I had A little slip up yesterday but I am ok now thank you. What about you. Dr O'Neil told me what happened earlyer."Jenny said as she rubbed Bens arm. Ben looked at me and smiled to say thank you.

"Yes I am ok thankyou good to hear your feeling better Nurse Pool." Ben smiled at her pleased that she was making the right desicion.

"Well any updates Nurse Pool?" I asked

"No Riley is still asleep." She said worried.

"Ok if he is not awake in half hour we will have to try and wake him." I said concerned that he was still asleep. Ben went to check on the other nurses to see if he could help. Ben came back as I was just watching Riley I was very concerned.

"Dr O'Neil we have some discarges to do. we are going to be quiet to day if we dont get any one else in." Ben said a bit dishartend.

"Yes I guess so well we will have more time for Riley if he wakes up." I said still very concerned for Riley. We left Nurse Pool with Riley.

I liked doing discarges it gave me a sence of satisfaction. these people had come in for help and now they were ready to go and live a so called normal life. well try to any way. we finished all of them and decded to go for coffee. every one deserved a treat they had worked so hard just as we were going to go get the coffee Nurse Pool shouted out to us.

"Dr O'Neil Riley is starting to wake." She shouted across the room. Me and Ben looked at each other and smilled.

"Exellent" I said relived.


	13. Chapter 12

chapter 12

we walked into Rileys room he was still a little out of it the sedithes were starting to wear off. We were just happy that he was awake.

We had been very worried about him. I dont know how much Dr Alex had givin him but it was a little unusal that it had took him this long to wake up. We didnt want to crowed him so we waited whille Nurse Pool was finished.

"Riley how are you feeling dear?" Jenny asked in her sweet tone of voice. She was defently the right person for this job. she had so much patients with every one just her voice was comferting enougth.

"My head hurts." Riley finally said waking up a little.

"Ok sweet heart It will wear off in a minute." jenny explained. "Do you know where you are?" She asked he was a bit disorintated. Riley looked around the room he looked over to me and Ben. I think he can rember Ben as he waved at him but he was very unsure of me. It isnt suprising really he doesnt know who I am.

"Erm Yeah I think so everything feels hazy." Riley replied unsure.

"You are in Hospital Riley one of the doctors had to sadate you. Dont worry you did nothing wrong?" Jenny said as she could see the panic in Rileys eyes. Riley rubbed his head confused he tried to sit up but fell back down.

"The room is spining." Riley said sounding scared.

"Its ok you are going to be a bit drosey for now it will wear off." Jenny was brillent at this she really kept him Calm. Ben looked at me a worried glare crossed his. I would defently have to ask Dr Alex how much she had givin him she hadnt noted down how much why i do not know what that women did was well she was a law upon herself.

"Whats this?" Riley liffted his hand to see the drip hanging off him.

"We had to put you on a drip. We needed to put fluids into your body." Jenny explained.

"Ohh Ok." Riley was certainly taking this well. I think Ben was right he didnt seem to have any mental problems. he seemed very sane Jenny looked over to Ben who was smiling at her. She started to blush and looked away I knuged Ben in the arm to say there was still hope.

Ben smiled and looked at the floor.

"Riley These are your doctors they will take very good care of you." Jenny said pointing at us.

"I rember Dr Jackson." Riley said as he waved again.

"Yes thats right Riley. Your other Doctor Is Dr O'Neil. You are very lucky to have these two to help you Riley." Jenny said as she looked at Ben.

"Best in the buissnes then?" Riley said Joking.

"Ahh good to see you have a sence of humer Riley." I said finding his Joke Funny. it reminded of josh's humer It looked like Riley was falling back to sleep as he smiled and closed his eyes. I am certinly worried about Riley he seemed out of it still. Jenny left Riley's side and walked towards us.

"Well done Nurse Pool you are doing a good job." I said reasuring her as she looked worried.

"Thank you. do you think he will be ok he seems disorintated?"

"I hope so we will have to keep a close eye on him i think." Ben stroked her arm to calm her. Jenny looked up to Ben and smiled she was happy he wasnt angry with her any more. "I think we should keep the drip in untill he is more alert. Jenny could you wash Rileys make up off him when he wakes back up. I think it would be a good idea if you ask him to take his contacts out. They cant be doing him any good I dont know how long he has been wearing them for." I said making A plan for what to do later.

"Yes of course Dr O'Neil." Jenny said agreeing with my request. We walked out of his room and left Nurse Pool to it. Ben looked slightly confused ben has such an expressive face.

"Whats on your mind Dr Jackson."

"I am not disagering with your Judgement but why do you want to take Rileys make up off for its who is isnt it?"

"Yes It is but I bet the reason why he wears make up is because he uses it as a mask. If we take that off then there is no mask and maybe we can reveal the mystery behind all this. I tottaly agree with your first observation. He doesnt seem to be hearing voices there is certainly some one else who has been intefering in there family life. Can you ring Rileys parents and just give them an update and see if they will be gracing us with there presense. I would certainly Like to see this Edmund Is it?" I asked as I looked througth his File.

"Yes thats right Edmund Cartwright. Very strange man he creeped me out he was so rude arragant and had a possive attitude." Ben altered me he walked off to make the phone call when I noticed something odd In His File.

"Dr Jackson?" I called over a little concerned. Ben came back to me as I was stood in the middle of the ward with his file.

"Yes Dr O'Neil?"

"Whats this about Fridays?" I asked.

"Ohh did I not tell you. Fridays are used for prayer days Aparently. Riley can not be disturbed he has to be left alone no one is to bother him."

"Right was that Rileys choice or his parents?" I asked a little sceptic.

"His parents Edmund insisted on it."

"Ok Well I think I need to talk to this Edmund. I will call Him instead I think. I have a few questions for him."

"Are you ok you look a little shocked?" Ben said as he read my facial aperance.

"Yes I am just concered Riley is being pushed into something that is not good for him." I said as my arms started to burn. I looked down to them to say ouch. Ben picked up on it.

"Ohh I see" He said as he rubbed his arm. I just knodded It was good Ben knew about me. Otherwise it would come across as me being very weird.

I walked into my office to call this Edmund Cartwright My hangover had started to kick in I really dont know why i do it to myself. I should never drink jack daniels it all ways makes me angry. I some times can feel like that for a couple of days later to. Not often that happens though but then I never really drink it. James would always ban me from drinking it. so i was suprised we had any in. he normay only drinks jd when we are out so he doesnt keep it in the house well he wont now iam sure. I picked up the phone and diled the number that Rileys parents had left for us to contact them.

"Hello" A stern mans voice answed.

"Hello Is This Edmund Cartwright?"

"Yes this is Mr Cartwright?"

"My name is Dr O'Neil I am calling from the hospital to give you an update on your son's progress."

"Myself and My Wife Asked Riley to contact us when his sole has been cleanced. so we do not need to know how his progress is gong thank you."

"Well I beg to Differ Mr Cartwright I belive your Son is perfectly well from the obsevation I have made."

"Yes and how long have you spent with Riley Dr O'Neil?"

"I dont think that is relevent Mr Cartwright My Professional Judgement is that your son is ok."

"I think your Judgement is Wrong Dr O'Neil. We were told that your unit was the Best in town. But the service we have recived has been absoltly diabolical I must say."

"Mr Cartwright we are not a shop you do not come here for the service. We aim to treat people the best way we can and help them along there way to a healthy life. Now how do you expect me to do this if you admit your son for reasons I do not understand. to be honest its blatenly a waste of my staff's time."

"Are you saying my Son is a waste off time Dr O'Neil.?"

"No not at all what I can see is your Son is a very creative and caring person."

"Are you going to help him or not?"

"How can I help Him when he doesnt need it Mr Cartwright?"

"We were told by a very Loyal friend that Riley would be put on a six week program to help him battle these demons."

"Is this friend of yours a doctor?"

"Well no but he knows pleanty off doctors who gave the advice to give to us."

"Right ok Mr Cartwright I can tell you know we will not be keeping Riley in for 6 weeks. That program is for extreame cases only."

"We do not wish to hear from you untill Riley has recived the six week Program then we will consider taken him back."

"Excuse me consider to take him back? He is your Son Mr Cartwright does that mean nothing to you and your Wife."

"My Wife and myself agree that the boy you have in your Hospital is not Riley. He will not be untill the program has finished it's course and the demons have been removed from him."

"Fine Mr Cartwright I can see I am not getting anywere with you on this subject. I am very disapointed that you can not see that your son is fit and well. I will get one of my colleges to ring you in the week to arange time so you can come and vist your son. so he can at least try and make you see sence because I do not seem to be able to do this."

"I can see you are not going to give up on this are you Dr O'Neil. Maybe we will arrange a time to come in and show you that these demons do exsit?"

"Yes I would be greatfull If you could spare A couple off hours for your Son Mr Cartwright."

"We will show you Dr O'Neil"

"I look foward to the challange Mr Cartwright." I had enough of this conversation I put the phone down. My arms were burning with rage I grabbed my Pot plant and threw it at the wall. I was so angry. I just could not understand how they were treating there son. There is nothing I could do I couldnt just discarge him because he would have no were to live. Social servrses wouldnt do any thing because he is seen to be at the age were he should be independednt. And to be honest I really wouldnt bother with then because they are rubish. I really dont know what to do my head is pounding my arms are burning. I just cant think I put my head in my hands feeling defeated.

"I bought you a coffee." Ben said as he walked in I didnt look up I didnt want him to see the rage in my eyes.

"You spoke to Edmund then?" Ben asked knowing why I was like this. I looked up at him now.

"Yes I did." I said rather harshly.

"Are you in pain Frasier?" Ben asked and sat down. I was suprised I haddnt scared him off.

"Yeah Hangover kicking in. I am feeling very angry Not a good combernation for me." I said as I streached my arms.

"Why dont you take your bandages of let your arms breathe for a little?" Ben asked knowing thats what was really bugging me.

"I wish I could Ben I really do.I can not risk it I have hid them away for so long now that it would just seem a waste of time for me to have them on show." I said in agony.

"Yes I suppose so I didnt really think of that." Ben said looking slightly silly.

"I think I might go and get some fresh air clear my head. I can not go and do an assesment on Riley in this state."

"Ok I will hold the fort for you." Ben said agreeing with my dession.

I wasnt gone long just the fresh air in my lungs cleared my head. When i returned i found Jenny and ben talking about something jenny looked a little embrassed and ben just looked uncomfertable. i feel so bad for ben i think i will go and save him from this tourture he can tell me to go away if iam being in the way. As i walked closer i coud hear ben trying to get the words out you could see he was running the words through his head before he said them which he does a lot when you take the time to observe him i find him funny to watch when he does it.

"Sorry Jenny I havent made myself clear. I have very strong feelings for you Jenny. I need to know how you feel because I can not carry on living on hope any more." Ben said i guess he was willing her to feel the same way. i could just imagine ben screaming words in his head Jenny was quiet she seemed Shocked. should i step in? i just dont know wait she is going to reply no i will wait how can i look busy?

"Ben I do have feelings for you but I am not ready to get involved in a full blown relationship." Jenny said sounding worried i could see she didnt want to upset Ben.

"Jenny I am not asking you if you would like a relastionship just yet. I just needed to Know if you felt the same."

"Ohh I see?" Jenny said not sure what Ben wanted.

"Jenny I have waited a long time to tell you this. Now I know that you do feel something for me I can wait a little longer." Ben said reasuring her.

"Ben I have never met anyone like you. Most men I have been out with have had just been intreasted in me for sex but not you.

You really care about me dont you?" Jenny said straight to the point

"I do care about you Jenny I care about you a lot." Ben said as he put his hand on her cheek.

"Thank you Ben this really means alot to me. Are you sure you dont mind waiting I really dont want to rush this and for it to end badly." Jenny asked. Ben pulled her towards him and hugged her Jenny wrapped her arms round him tight not wanting to let go it seemed.

"I will wait for you Jenny take as much time as you need." Ben tried to wisper but every one heared it infact everyone was staring mouths open. Jenny walked off to go and clean herself up and re do her make up as she had smuged it. Ben couldnt help but smile he was on cloud Nine.

"Do you all having nothing else to do?" Ben asked everyone i bet he was feeling shy. every one moved on fast pretending they haddnt stoped. "That includes you Dr O'Neil."

"What i wasnt watching." i held my hands up. "Ok you got me i cant beat a good romance,"

"Shut up nothings going on."

"Yet any way." Ben went a nice shade off red.

After a whille nurse pool made us aware that Riley had woken.

"Riley is awake fully now I have taken off his make up and he has taken his contacts out. He looks so diffrent with out it all on it's like two diffrent people." Jenny said amazed by what a little bit of makeup could do. I turned look at Ben not to be to smug i couldnt help it.

"you see a mask." Ben looked amazed he never had a case like this before and proberly wouldnt ever again.

"How Is he?" I asked Nurse Pool.

"Ok a little scared I think but he is more alert then earlyer." Jenny said as she hannded me her notes.

"Right ok then lets go and talk to Riley then." I said excited we had something to do. Jenny and Ben were just looking at each other looking very happy.

"Jenny why dont you take a coffee break you have worked hard this morning." We walked out of the office Jenny walked off towards the canteen Ben walked beside me to Rileys room. I knocked On Rileys door and walked in Riley was sitting at his table Jenny was right he looked totaly Diffrent. He looked younger his eyes were green after all. He wasnt wearing much make up when he came in. But it was so detailed that it mezmerised you and changed his aperance.

"Riley good to see you are up." Riley just smiled.

"Can we sit down?" I asked it was his room I didnt want him to feel like we could just walk in do whatever we wanted. Riley nodded.

I looked over to Ben who was standing in the door way. Ben didnt look to worryed. Ben pointed to the file I opened it up and read Bens first observation he was shy then to. We sat down.

"How are you feeling Riley?" Ben asked as he Knew that Riley trusted him. maybe more then Me but he had only just met me so that was understandable.

"I feel ok." Riley said in a sad tone.

"Can we ask you some questions Riley." I asked not sure if was ready to talk yet. Riley looked at his hands for a minute. Then looked right at me his green eyes were amazing.

"Yes I am ready." He said still in his sad tone.

"Right ok well lets start with something easy shall we?" I said comferting him. Riley Smiled.

"Tell me a bit about yourself Riley?"

"What do you want to know?" Riley asked.

"Any thing really you decide." Riley laughed.

"Whats funny." Ben asked.

"No one ever wants to know about me. I am just Riley Cartwright and thats all people want to know." Riley said sounding numb.

"I want to Know Who Riley Is?" I asked concerned.

"You have put me on the spot there I dont know if I can answer that."

"Ok lets try something else. Do you have a job?"

"Kind off I do work but I dont get paid for it."

"Right what is it you do then?"

"You really want to know?" Riley sounded shocked we actuly cared.

"Yes I am intreasted Riley."

"Ok well I go round to my parents friends to help with cleaning mainly. I look after kayleb some times to."

"Who's kayleb?"

"kayleb is my Parents Friends little Boy. He is nine years old. He doesnt go to school my father goes to teach him three days a week.

when his parents are busy I look after him.

"Thats very Kind off you Riley Is there a reason why kayleb does not attend school?"

"No my parents didnt send me to school My Father taught me from home. my parents said that school crupts your sole so they felt that would be the best for Kayleb." Riley said not sounding happy about not having the choice.

"Right I have to ask you this Riley. Do you feel the same?"

"No I do not I would of loved to have gone to school."

"You can go to college and learn things if thats what you really want. Riley it's your life you decide what you want to do with it."

"I could never disrespect my Father's dessison."

"Riley are you happy right now?"

"No"

"Then you should do things that make you happy?"

"I can not do that."

"Why not?"

"Because it would be selfish off me to do that." I couldnt belive what I was hearing what had they done to this poor boy.

"Riley I want you to belive this ok it is not selfish off you to want to feel happy."

"I have been very selfish that is why I have been put in here. I have started to do things what I wanted to do and now Iam being punished for it."

"What were you doing that was diffrent?"

"I wanted to be difffrent I dont want to be the same as everyone else I know. I started to wear make up to express my self. when I was feeling sad or angry if I was feeling nothing then I would were nothing."

"You say you express yourself how?"

"With colour I would wear Blue if I was sad. and I would wear red if I was angry. I like to design things. Like shapes you can bend them each way you like but you can still return them back to there origanal shape it fasenates me."

"What would you wear if you were happy?"

"I dont know. I dont know what that feels like." I just couldnt belive this I looked over to Ben who looked just as shocked as I was.

"So what do you do in your spare time Riley when you are not working?" Ben asked.

"Iam always working I dont really get time to myself."

"And you say you dont get paid for doing what you do?" Ben asked slightly confused.

"No I do it to help them as they help my parents."

"What do they help your parents with?" Riley Looked away he looked very worried about something.

"Riley Are you ok?" I asked as he went very quiet. He just nodded. He looked very scared about something it really worried me.

"Do You want to carry on?" Riley took a deep breath and nodded.

"Ok If it gets to tougth for you it's important that you tell us if you want to stop." I said worryed we were pushing it.

"I will I just want you to help me so I can go home." Riley said upset.

"I know Riley we want that for you to."

"What If I said I would stop wearing Make up and do every thing my father says then could I go home?"

"Riley you have to understand there is nothing wrong with the way you express yourself. it is healthy you do that. Now I dont want to be rude but the way your parents have bought you up is compleatly wrong Riley. From what you have said you work very hard trying to please your parents friends. you do not get paid for working hard and you have no free time to do what you want to. you can not be Happy to me it sounds like they have you as a slave. now here is the tricky part because we can not keep you in here if there is nothing wrong with you. I spoke to your father a little whille ago and he doesnt want you back untill he is sure you are better. There is nothing wrong with you Riley so how can you get better."I said trying to explain this all to him.

"That's what my mother said on the phone when I spoke to her last. They dont want me any more do they?"

"Riley please dont upset yourself we are going to try are best to make your parents realise you are well. if not then well we will help you get your new life on track."

"My new Life?"

"We will help you get somewere to live. Then you can chose to work or go to college it is totally up to you what you want to do."

"Right So I would be alone?"

"It depends on what you mean alone there are people out there can help you Riley you wont be used as a slave. You can do what you want and not have to answer to your fathers demands."

"Right ok I dont know if I can do that?"

"I know it's scary Riley but this might be your better option." Riley had a lot to think about I looked over to Ben wondering if we should carry on. Ben looked a bit concerned.

"Ok Riley we are going to get you to see someone about your eyes see if you need glasses to help with the dizzy spells." I said to let him know what the plan was. I think we had got enougth information from Riley for us to look over.

"we have made a dession that is best for you Riley. there is nothing for you to worry about. we will not make you do anything you do not want to ok?" Ben said to ease Riley

"Ok Thank you." Riley said sounding numb.

"Are you feeling Hungry Riley You havent eaten for a whille I asume?"

"No I am ok thank you."

"Well Please let us know when you are hungry. you do need to eat to keep your energy levels up. make sure you drink pleanty to. I see Nurse Pool has taken the Drip out for you."

"Yes she did it was iratating me."

"There not the most comfertable things to have stuck in you are they." Riley just smilled.

"Ok Riley if you need any thing press your buzzer. Nurse Pool will be looking after you so any thing you need just ask her. Riley nooded He looked tired and upset. We left Riley alone to think things over. Nurse Pool was back off her break now to she saw are worried expresion and rushed over.

"Is Riley ok?"Jenny asked worryed.

"He is well but he has been treated very badly. we have a lot of work to do to help him." His mother and Father did him a favour really bringing him here. I dont think they expected us to listen to Rilay and belive his side. James had left me a voice mail i didnt normaly check my phone till I finished but Josh worried me with his behaviour last nite. My office seemed cramped now all three of us where stuck in my crabby office

"Everything ok?" ben asked on cue.

"Yes Annabel has a new agent i think we are going out tonight to celebrate if you want to come your more then welcome."

"Well that sounds good i havent got any plans."

"They are going to meet us at the Pub when we finish." Jenny looked a little left out.

"Jenny are you going to come? I think we all need a drink after to day would you like to come?" I asked welcoming her.

"Yes Jenny can you make it?" Ben asked excited this pleased Jenny.

"Yes If I am not intruding." Jenny asked unsure.

"Great thats sorted then." Ben said very,very happy. Jenny looked happy that Ben was excited It seemed these two were on track to a beautiful thing.

Dr Alex was early once agin the atmosphere had changed when she arrived. "Good evening Dr O'Neil." She said in a dull voice. She looked like she had been crying her eyes were red a puffed up.

"Good evening Dr Alex." I didnt know if I should ask if she is ok I feel kind of bad for her I have never seen her so natural. Jenny came out of Rileys Room and saw Dr Alex she stopped halfway across the room stunned as I was. we really didnt know what to make of it. Dr Alex waved at Jenny and went to get ready for work. Jenny smilled and put her head down not wanting to talk to her if she had to. Jenny walked over to me shock on her face by Dr Alex's behaviour.

"Is she ok?"

"I dont know I didnt ask do you think I should of?" I asked not sure what to do?"

"I dont know it's up to you she doesnt look in a good way does she?"

"No she doesnt does she. Maybe I will ask her when I update her with what happend on our shift today." I said as I really wasnt sure.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Jenny asked being kind. It took me by suprise.

"You dont have to look that shocked Dr O'Neil?" Jenny said laughing.

"I am sorry you just keep on suprising me Nurse Pool you really have a heart of gold dont you." I said still stunned that she would go and ask the person she really didnt like and put there feelings first.

"Thank you that means alot." Jenny said looking happy.

"I think I will ask her. You never know she might have changed her mood when she comes back." I said not sure what Dr Alex was going to be like. Ben had come back from his break and bought Riley a art mag and a sketch pad and pencil's.

"I bought Riley this so he can keep busy while he is here. I know I would be very bored if I was him." Ben said as feeling sorry for him.

"Dr Jackson You are so sweet." Jenny said impreased.

"Well you know I am all heart." Ben said flirting a little. Jenny flushed a little. Dr Alex came back now still looking sad her eyes were no longer Red but she didnt look right.

"What's up with Her?" Ben said a little bit nasty Ben cant stand her he doesnt care if she is suffering.

"Dr Jackson she looks very upset are you not concerned?" Jenny asked symperfetic for her.

"How can you feel sorry for that she upset you so much Jenny? I can not stand here and feel sorry for her." Ben said angry.

"Ohh Ben. Yes she did hurt me. what has happened is in the past now. we can move on with our lives. Now lets be thankful for the fact she opened My eyes to what a creep Adam is. we wouldnt have had the conversation we had earlyer would we?" Jenny said calming Ben down.

"Well Yes you have a point but dont expect me to be nice to her because I can not." Ben said firm. I smilled at Ben to reasure him that I understood were he was coming from.

"I will go and give these to Riley If you like?" Jenny said Holding her hand out to Ben for his gift.

"Thank you." Ben said feeling a little bad. Jenny walked to Riley's room.

"Do you think I was out of line?" Ben asked worryed.

"No you can not help the way you feel about Dr Alex Jenny is just being kind."

"Mmm too kind." Ben said annoyed.

"Hello Dr Jackson." Dr alex said very shy. It defently took Ben by suprise I dont think he could be mean now.

"Hello Dr Alex are you well?"

"Yes thank you and yourself?" She replyed with feeling.

"Yes Thank you." Ben said as he looked at me with a worried glare.

"Dr Jackson would you like to tell Nurse Pool she can finish. You can to if you like I will just update Dr Alex." I said as I pointed her to my Office. Dr Alex walked in to my office and waited for me.

"Ok that scared me." Ben said shocked she seem bothered about him.

"Yes I know very strange. Do you need to get change before we go out tonight?" I asked Ben.

"No I will just wear this I look smart dont I?" Ben asked.

"Yeah you will do." I said winding him up.

"Cheers."Ben laugthed. I walked into my office to update Dr Alex.

"Is every thing ok?" I asked before we started.

"Yes thank you I am ok." Dr Alex said with a sad face.

"Right ok well Riley is awake now we have assed him. we have come to the conclusen that he has not got any mental problems. we just have to make his father Belive that he is not." I said making her aware with what we did today.

"Right ok then." Dr Alex said not looking happy about that.

"Are you sure you are ok?" I asked not convinced.

"Yes I am fine thank you." Dr Alex smilled I dont think I had seen her smile nautraly before.

"Let me introduse you to Riley I belive he is still awake." I said feeling a little nervous around Dr Alex. Ben and Jenny were waiting for me by the door.

"I wont be long guys." I shouted over to them. Dr Alex looked over to Ben and Jenny.

"Are they an item now?" She asked.

"I dont know Why?" I asked confused to why she said that.

"Nurse Pool just looks happy with Dr Jackson." She said as she stared at them.

"Right ok." I said worried why she was staring at them. Dr Alex catched me up as I had carryed on walking. I knocked on Rileys door and walked in.

"Hello Riley I have come to say good bye I am off duty now. This is Dr Alex she will be on shift tonight If you need any thing just ask her ok?" I asked Riley. Riley looked a little worrryed he didnt speak he just looked away.

"Sorry Dr Alex I just need a word with Riley In private if you dont mind." Dr Alex walked out.

"Riley Whats wrong?" I asked concerned.

"I know her?" Riley said scared.

"You know Dr Alex?" I asked confused.

"Yes she use to vist one of my fathers friends. He would always send his wife away and she would came over." Riley said unsure if he should say anything.

"Ohh So at least you know someone isnt that a good thing?"

"My fathers friend likes the ladies. His wife is gettting older now and he likes to have diffrent women every week. I havent seen her for a whille." Riley said explaing it a little better. I had to sit down I couldnt belive it how could she. A crazy thought sprang into my head No she wouldnt would she she would never harm any one no she couldnt.

"Riley do you think she ever saw you at your fathers friend's?" I asked worryed.

"No I dont think so. We were never introdused. well I was never introdused to his lady friends. I am a nobody." Riley said numb.

It cant be true no it just cant be That's why she sadated him. She tryed to shut him up.

That's why it took so long for him to come round I put my hand over my mouth in shock how could she.

"Dr O'Neil what's wrong?" Riley asked worryed.

"It's nothing for you to worry about Riley." I need to think of some thing quick. "I can not leave you alone with her but I can not raise seruspisions just yet." I said trying to think of something fast.

"Why I dont understand Your scaring me Dr O'Neil." Riley said panicked.

"That's it got It. Riley can you help me out now?" I asked unsure if he would.

"I dont understand Dr O'Neil what's wrong." Riley said very scared.

"I dont want to scare you Riley but I think Dr Alex tried to harm you."

"What why what have I done?" Riley asked scared confused.

"I think she reconised you that's why she sadated you last night. She tryed to keep you quiet. I told her not to do any thing when she came in. But she ignored me know I know why." I said trying to make Riley understand.

"But why would she do that?" Riley asked confused.

"Because she stands to lose everything if she is found cheating again. Her husband is very rich. They were sorting things out now. But If he found out what you knew it would ruin her." I said making him understand. " Riley do you trust me?" I asked very quickly.

"Yes." Riley said sure that he did.

"Right sit on your Bed Riley can you act numb? Ignore me just stare at the wall do not move." I said in a stern voice. I stood up as Riley did as I said.

"Good Riley good." Dr Alex walked in to the room. Dr O'Neil are you going to be much longer Dr Jackson and Nurse Pool are still waiting for you. I turnned round looking shocked.

"Whats Wrong Dr O'Neil?" Dr Alex asked worryed.

"I dont know Riley just swiched personalitys. He has just shut down again." I said trying fake this. I dont know if she was going to buy it but Riley was doing a good job.

"What Really I thought you said he was ok?" Dr Alex said calm now.

"Well he had me fooled I can tell you." I said glad she was beliving this. I knew for defenate now her mood changed more relaxed and calmed.

"Do you want me to sedate him again?" She asked Alittle to happy to this.

"No I dont want you to do that I think I will stay here and try to snap him out of this. We need to reases him." I said making up a plan.

"Well I can do that you go you have plans by the looks of it." Dr Alex said trying to get rid of me.

"No it's to much this is my mistake I will sort this out for you. Then I will go I think you will need some more help tonight. Do you think you could get a couple of temp doctors down to help you tonight?" I asked knowing she would love that thinking she could get what she wanted.

"Well you know me Dr O'Neil I can get any one to do stuff for me." Dr Alex said smug.

"Yes thats the attitude." I said with not beliving I had to do this. My arms started to burn. It really hit me then I tried not to screem in agony.

Dr Alex left the room.

"Fuck Fuck Fuck." I said as the pain hit. Riley looked over to me "are you ok?" He wispered.

"Sorry Riley yes I am ok."

"You look in pain are you..." Riley stopped what he was saying as he heard Dr Alex coming back.

"Dr O'Neil could you go and fetch the doctors on call. I have been told we can use them tonight." Dr Alex said as she was still on the phone to recption.

"I think you should go Dr Alex they are more likely to come with you then me. I will keep an eye on Riley. I can also change my plans till later." I said not wanting to leave Riley alone with her.

"Ok as you wish Dr O'Neil." She said smug.

"Thank you Dr Alex I said not looking at her a sharp pain went down my arms. I crossed them and held them tight. Dr Alex walked out Ben came with his phone in his hand. He looked worryed.

"Frasier It's Josh What's going on." Ben asked concerned.

"Thank you I will exlain everything in a minute I just need to talk to Josh." I said knowing why he was ringing. Ben went to sit on the bed with Riley who looked very scared.

"Josh dont panic I am ok." I said as I knew he would be panicking.

"What the hell is going on you made me drop my Pint whats with the pain?" Josh asked

"I cant explain right now Josh but could you do me a favour?" I asked.

"Yeah what?"

"Has Annabel had a drink yet?"

"No?"

"Good stop her can you get her to come here and pick up Ben and Jenny. I need to sort out a problem before I leave."

"What problem?"

"I cant explain now Josh is Annabel ok to do this?"

"Yeah I will get her to."

"Thank You Josh I will try not to be long."

"Frais are you with that Problem?"

"Kind of why can you feel it?"

"Yeah I can feel Ben You and Someone else is there."

"Is it the same as last night?"

"Yeah it is He is very scared Frais."

"Yeah I know we are sorting that out now."

"Ok I will send Annabel over now."

"Great thank you Josh see you soon." I hung up and gave ben his phone back.

"Whats going on then?" Ben asked.

"Something very bad has happened. Annabel is coming to get you I need to call the police before Dr Alex comes back." I said panicked.

"What?" Ben said shocked.

"I think shes done something really wrong ben, when she sedated Riley last night. im not sure she had his best intentions at heart..."

" i know shes a pain Frasier but do you really think she was trying to hurt Riley?" Ben asked, I could hear the doubt in his voice.

"I cant explain, but you must trust me Ben, shes a danger its just not safe to have her here. Go to the pub with Annabel I will meet you there." Ben nodded, still doubting my crazy ramblings, walked out and informed Jenny something was wrong Jenny ran in to the room now.

"Whats wrong?" She said panicked. I explaind quickly what I thought Dr Alex had done. Jenny looked compleatly shocked but trusted my instinct.

"Jenny I need you to go with Ben my friend is coming to pick you to up. I will meet u later." She walked over to Riley.

"Riley You can Trust Dr O'Neil ok he is the good guy." Jenny said as she could see Riley was scared.

"Ok Riley Can you get in your bed and pretend to sleep when Dr Alex comes back." I asked Riley. Riley did as I asked. Ben came back I have called the police for you they are sending a detective they said they had been watching Dr Alex?" Ben said concerned.

"What?" I asked Ben.

"They just said they were watching her a they will be here as fast as they can?" I wanted to take this outside I didnt want to scare Riley any more then he was.

"We will leave you now Riley. I am going to tell Dr Alex I sedated you so thats why you are sleeping ok?" I asked if that was ok.

"Yes ok." He said panicked.

"Dont worry it will be ok." I said reasuring him We left Riley. "I cant belive this what has she been up to?" I said unsure.

"Five minutes passed as we walked up and down worried. Jenny stayed in the room with Riley. we put an empty seringe on the table so it looked like Jenny had done it. we put rubber gloves on her. The police arrived As Annabel and Josh followed them in.

"Hello I am Dr O'Neil." I said introdusing myself.

"Hello we recived A call about a problem with Dr Alex?" The dective asked.

"Yes I belive that she has tryed to harm my patient?" I said thinking they would think I was crazy.

"Ha-ha Great we have got her guys." He said joking with the other police officers.

"Sorry I do not understand?" I asked as there had seem to be a private Joke.

"Iam sorry I can not discuss that with you." He said.

"Right ok Dr Alex will be back in a minute would you like to wait in my office I dont want to scare her off." I said worrryed she would run for it. I showed them into my Office and went to go to talk to Annabel and Josh.

"Whats going on Frais?"Josh asked excited by the drama.

"I will explain later Josh but you shouldnt be here." I said concerned for him.

"Sorry I didnt want to send Annabel on her own." Josh said undersanding why I was a little annoyed. Ben and Jenny you need to go with Annabel I will catch you up later." I said wanting them out of the way. Josh turned round to the door and then back to me He looked very worried.

"Josh?" I asked concerned.

"Wow I cant belive it I..." He stopped himself as Jenny was looking concerned. Dr Alex walked in with the two Doctors. Josh just stared at Dr Alex. Annabel Kicked Josh to move and stop stearing.

"Sorry He has a few Problems with beautiful women." Annabel said to explain Josh's behviour.

"Ohh Well that's ok then." she said smug

"Dr Alex can you please go into my office there is some one to see you." I said nervous.

"Guys please I will see you soon I said not wanting Josh to be here any longer. Ben and Jenny left with Annabel and Josh. The two doctors were looking a little confused.

"Sorry it seems there has been crossed wires you can go back now." I said not wanting an audiance. I rang Dr Jones to fill him in he didnt sound shocked that this had happened he said he would call around to get a team down here for tonight. I heard shouting coming from my office I didnt want to go in the police could deal with this. I went into Rileys room as he was on his own and proberly very scared.

"Riley Iam so sorry you have been put through this." I said apolgising.

"It's ok you have looked after me very well you all have." Riley said not being angry with us. The police took Dr Alex away and Riley and myself had to give statements. As the police left with all the evidence they needed the new team came in to take over from me.

"Fraiser O'Neil?" The doctor asked. It was Robbie Felix I went to unervisty with him.

"Robbie How are you?" I asked pleased that they sent someone decent.

"Yes good thank you so you work here do you? I always wondered were you ended up nice hospital." He said impreased.

"Yes I have done alright for myself havent I." I said very proud that I had gone the whole way.

"So are you and James still together?" He asked not sure if we would be.

"Yes we are." I said proud.

"Wow Thats amazing you guys have been together forever havent you?" He said shocked.

"Yes." I said Laughing.

"So are you married?" I asked Robbie wasnt the settle down type.

"Yes and three children." He said very proud.

"Wow Robbie you settle down?" I said shocked.

"Yes I know how's your Mum and dad doing are they well?"

"Erm No they both passed away." I said a little sad.

"Ohh Frasier I am so sorry to hear that. I know you were close to them." Robbie said patting me on the back.

"Yeah it was a shock but James has helped me through the tougth times. Ohh and I have my brother so he has kept me busy." I said trying to change the subject.

"Josh isnt it?" Robbie asked.

"Yeah thats right." I said shocked he had rembered.

"So what's been going on here then?" He asked. I filled him in the quick version.

"Wow I think I need to get a job here more excitement." He said making a joke out of it.

"Well there might be a post avalible now?" I said now Dr Alex was out of the picture.

"Tempting." He said joking. Right Shall I introduse You to your only patient tonight unless you get any one else in?" I said ready to leave.

"Yes please." He said enfusiastic..

"He hasnt got any mental problems. we are trying to sort him out some housing it's a nightmere." I said as it was.

"Ok cool." He briefed his team with what to do. We walked into Rileys room he was up an about now sitting at the table.

"Riley this is Dr Feilx he will be looking after you tonight." I said as I intridused him to Riley.

"Hello Riley. you can call me by my first name if you like." Robbie said

"Whats that then?" Riley asked. this suprised me it was a good tatic to use.

"Robbie."

"Ok Robbie hello." Riley said happy it wasnt Dr Alex.

"I have to go now Riley will you be ok?" I asked Riley.

"Yeah Robbie is here now." Riley said light hearted.

"Good ok Thank you Robbie." I said ready to leave I knew robbie would help Riley I needed a drink.


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Josh point off veiw.

We finaly arrived at the pub It was my fault I realy shouldnt have gone but I couldnt just leave Annabel and if james went well he would still be there. Jenny thinks iam a little odd she definatly isnt sure about me. my head is spinning I need to sit down.

"Sorry about Josh you proberly think he is a little crazy" Annabel said apoligising for me does she not know iam here?

"Yes He doesnt like being in a car does he?" Jenny replyed.

"No he doesnt he was in the car that crashed when his parents died." Annabel said explaing why we had to stop so much.

"I was suprised he came with you Annabel." Ben said now joining in the conversation.

"Yeah so was I he was fine on the way there. I was so proud off him I thought he was getting over his fear. It seems he hasnt." Annabel said a little disapointed that my fear had won over bless her.

"Guys iam still here."

"Josh?" Annabel called out. she couldnt see me.

"Iam down here."

"What the hell Josh i thought you had gone inside?"

"No I felt dizzy and i feel really sick. I had to sit down"

"Come on lets get you in." Annabell and Ben helped me up i still felt dizzy i dont know why it didnt affect me like this normaly i would just freak out and i wouldnt be able to control myself but i never felt sick after.

"Josh are you ok?" James asked as they helped me in.

"Yeah I am over the worst now thanks. I need a drink."

"I will get them in." Ben said trying to ease the atmosphere. i slumped down into the corner

"Ohh hay Ben sorry I feel like a dick for not saying hi." James apolgised in his posh manner as if james posh ha.

"It's ok good to see you again." Ben said not aware that James had been rude. Ben understood why but Jenny seemed a little put off.

"I'll come and help with the drinks Ben." Jenny said she wasnt sure if she wanted to be left alone with the us.

"What does every one want?" Ben asked.

"Cider for me." James asked

"I'll have a glass a rose please." Annabel asked.

"Josh what do you want?" Ben asked me.

"Josh?" I heard James shout my name to but it its like I was here but not what a strange feeling and and I cant feel any... hang on no i cant not a sole how bizare is this what it feels like to be normal? Annabel came and sat next to me i knew it was her she had the wonderful scent vanilla.

"Josh." She wispered in my ear i dont know why it made me jump.

"What?" I said kind off annoyed that I was disturbed from my thoughts.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Ohh Cider thanks sorry." I said apolgising, i am sure I am turning pink as everyone is looking at me. Ben laughed at me he wasnt annoyed but Jenny didnt look to pleased. Jenny is trying to compare me to fraiser Iam sure i dont think she likes me very much great iam feeling parnoid not having the help of feeling how she feels wow this must be what its like for frais. i always feel worry from fraiser i wonder if that is what it is him being paronoid protecting me and james from whatever he hides from his past he doesnt want his past affectin us. They got the drinks and walked back to the table. Annabel was talking to James and I was sat in the corner I just couldnt help but feel lost with out my gift why had it stoped working.

"There you are Josh." I heard Jenny say as she Passed me a drink. James and Annabel thanked them for there drinks. After a moment, I suddenly snapped out of my day dream, I was aware of jennys hurt feelings, they came rushing over me all at once. and so did every one else worry concern hurt for me iam sure.

"ohh, I am so sorry Jenny thank you. Sorry you must think I am a total dick." I said as i realised how my behaviour mush have come across. Why had I not been able to feel this before. It was like I couldnt feel anything and then with no warning, I could feel how hurt she was.

Annabel and James started laugthing at me as I was starting to go back to my normal self. The laughter was more relief than humour.

"That's ok." Jenny said soundind unsure and a little scared.

"No it wasnt fair of me please will you forgive me?" I said pleading with her. I could feel her diaprovel. Ben started to laugth now. Jenny looked very confused.

"Dont worry You will get use to Josh." Ben said explaing my behaviour. There was an awkward silence for a few moments after they had stoped laugthing.

"So Josh is Frasier on his way?" James asked to break the silence. I gave James a dirty look to say shut up, I didnt want to be too obvious about my girft around strangers. i tried to focus on Fraiser nothing nothing at all I couldnt feel frais i started to panic I tried harder willing for my gift to work.

"Josh?" James asked

"Josh you going to answer me?" James said annoyed to why I haddnt answered after a good 30 seconds.

"I dont know." I snapped back, getting even more anxious it was horrible i could allways connect with fraiser.


	15. Chapter 13 part 2 fraiser pov

chap 13 fraiser

"Hay Guy's sorry I am late." I said feeling bad. James looked over to Josh who looked totaly Shocked and to be honest like he was going to throw up.

"What's going on?" I asked concerned to why they where acting very birzare.

"Nothing." James stepped in to say as Josh wasnt going to say any thing he was to stunned to.

"Right ok." I said unsure. I folded my arms they were still burning a little and now this strange atmosphere was here it annoyed me slightly.

"Lets get you a drink." James said getting up to walk to the bar.

"Ok does any one else want one while we are at the bar?" I asked politely. Every one shook there head apart from Josh who wouldnt take his eyes off me. I helped James to the Bar as he left crutches at the table.

"So what's going on then?" I asked as we were out of the way where we could talk.

"I asked Josh if you where on your way and Josh said he didnt know then you walked in?" James asked confused.

"What he must of felt me my arms are Burning James?" I said worried. We looked over to Josh who was looking at us he was trying to work it all out.

"Do you think I should talk to him?" I asked james really worried.

"I think he will talk to you if he wants to" James said. He was always right James was the best. He always knew what to say to cheer me up or to put my mind at ease.

"Josh had some trouble on the way back apparently." James said thinking maybe that was why he was acting strange. we took are drinks back James hobbled back the best he could.

"So how much longer do you have to wear your cast for James?" Jenny asked trying to be polite.

"Well hopefully some point in the week if it has healled ok." James said answering Jenny's question. Annabel was sat next to Josh to try and find out what was going on with him. she had put her arm round him to comfort him. he looked awful he looked so pale.

"So how long have you two been an item then?" jenny said looking at josh and annabel. Josh burst out laugthing what was going on with him one minute he looked like death and the next he is bursting out in fits of laughter.

"We are not an Item." Annabel said to explain why josh was laughing.

"Ohh Sorry you just seem so close." Jenny said embarsed she went a nice shade off pink.

"Yes some people say we can feel each others thoughts. Thats why they think we are so close." Josh said being cheeky. Annabel kicked Josh to say shut up. Jenny looked very confused. Ben rubbed her arm to comfort her. Josh drank his pint fast and was ready for another.

"Josh dont go crazy tonight." I said thinking it would be a bad Idea if he got drunk he was acting so bizzare.

"Dont worry I wont." Josh said with a annoyed tone. I didnt get why he was in a strange mood with me I think I needed to talk to him. It was really winding me up my arms were burning so much that I had to get up.

"Frasier." James called over to me as I walked out.

I took a deep breath of fresh air to try and calm me down to stop the burning. It wasnt working i sat down on the pavement.

"Frais?" Josh called out looking for me. our eyes met and he made his way over to me.

"Cant you feel it Josh?" I asked worried why he couldnt feel the burning. Josh sat on the pavement and looked away from me.

"No I cant feel you Frais." Josh said upset.

" I dont understand?" I said in shock.

" No i dont either I couldnt Feel Jenny or Ben earlyer either whats wrong with me?" Josh said geting very upset.

"Josh dont panic this could be a good thing?" I said not sure what to say.

"How can this be good?" Josh asked panicked.

"I dont know Josh you could lead a normal life?" I said thinking thats what he wanted.

"I dont want live a normal Life this is who I am and with out it who am I?"

"Ok Josh it's ok." I said as I pulled him close to me. Josh wiped his tears away.

"Maybe you have just had a tougth time and you just need to relax it might come back?" I said trying to reasure him.

"Yes maybe I can feel every one know I still cant feel you though?" Josh said a little lighter.

"Well thats a good thing Josh Because you dont want to be feeling me right now." I said to ease his pain.

"Why? are you in pain?" Josh asked worryed.

"Yeah It's been a tough first day back." I said thinking about what happend.

"Hang on I felt Dr Alex before she came in?" Josh said rembering what he felt.

"What did you feel ?" I asked intregued.

"Evil she is a nasty person she wanted to harm people she enjoys it." Josh said dark.

"Wow I thought she would be gaurded." I said shocked.

"No I have never felt that much evil from some one, she is bad to the core. Its hard to explain but It was like i wanted to be that bad too"

"Yes well she cant hurt any one any more. Maybe thats what has shocked you Josh?" I said to make him feel a bit better.

"Yeah maybe. I think we should go back in I dont think Jenny likes me. I cant blame her I have been A compleate jerk towards her." Josh said feeling Jennys frustration.

"Jenny will come around with you she is a lovely person." I said because it was true.

"Yes heart of gold Ben is very lucky." Josh said as he could feel it off her.

"Josh can I ask do you think Jenny has feelings for Ben?" I asked unsure.

" Yes there is defently a atraction there she is being cautious though. she doesnt want her heart to be broken again." Josh said with passion.

"Good I am glad I know that now Thank you Josh." I.

We walked back in I went to the bar and got every one a drink again. Josh helped me with the drinks. Josh went to sit next Jenny to try and redem himself with her. She could see Josh had been crying his eyes were still red and puffy.

"Thank you Josh." She said as he gave her a drink.

"Your welcolme Jenny." Josh said being polite. I snuggled up into james arms. I had waited all day to do this. we just watched the conversation flow between the others.

"So it's good that you and Ben have finaly got together?" Josh said not realising what he said untill it was to late.

"Sorry?" Jenny asked kind off spooked.

"Josh can read body langauge." Annabel said helping Josh out. She was always so quick.

"Oh really I didnt think we were being that close but we are not an item as such are we?"

"No just good friends shall we say." Ben said not wanting that to be the answer I bet

" You Know it's amazing what you do when you dont realise it." Josh said sounding confident that he fooled her. Annabel looked over to Josh and smilled to say nice one.

"So what was going off at your place then?" Annabel asked to change the subject.

"Ohh yes well um well lets just say that Dr Alex has been very naughty and if I have anything to do with it she will not be a staff member at the hospital any more." I said really not wanting to talk about her. My arms had stopped burning but they started to again. I folded my arms to stop the pain. James realised what I was doing and stroked my arms to calm me down. Josh pulled a face he went bright red.

"You ok Josh?"Jenny asked as she could see he was in pain. Josh just nooded embarsed.

"Are you sure?" Jenny asked not excepting that.

"Yep cramp in my leg." Josh said making it up.

"Ohh stand up and walk around a bit." Jenny suggested.

"It's ok it's wearing off now." Josh said as he looked at me and smiled.

Josh seemed to be a little bit brighter now I was glad it certainly eased my pain. Jenny and Ben looked so happy together. Poor Annabel I think she was feeling a bit lost. Josh kept looking over to her a giving her a reasuring smile. Josh decided to get every one a drink even though every ones glass was half full.

"Annabel do you want to give me a hand?" Josh asked wanting to get her on her own. She nodded and went to help. I looked at them curriously as they were standing close together.

"Are you sure those two are not an item?" Jenny asked again. James and Ben laugthed at Jenny. I looked back over to them Annabel was hugging Josh.

"No they are just good friends." I said not taking my eye of them. Josh turned round and looked at me with an angry stare. I couldnt help but feel he was doing the wrong thing. Poor Annabel her feelings were all over the place at the moment. she didnt know what she wanted. They came back over Josh decided to sit next Annabel. Annabel rested her head on Josh's Chest. James poked my side to say stop it.

"Josh knows what he is doing dont worry." James wispered in my ear. I looked up to James he smiled at me as he could see the worry on my face.

"Are you sure about that?" I asked back.

" So Annabel when you moving in?" James asked being cheeky. Josh looked happy at the thought of that.

"Umm I think I will move my stuff over next week. Are we sharing a room James?" Annabel asked knowing he was jokeing.

"I dont think so James is all mine I am not sharing." I said laughing.

"Well if we cant share I can not move in sorry." "Annabel said pretending to be shocked.

Everyone else had a few more drinks I stayed on the non alcholic drink I really couldnt handle another hangover. After a while Jenny and Ben decided to share a taxi home they said there good byes and left. Annabel came back to ours she left her car at the Pub. I would take her to work in the morning.

I


End file.
